That’s right. We’ve entered the live results game. You’ve been served, wrestling community.

Live from beautiful Chicago at a dirty bar. Keep refreshing for updates.

The Kingdom start the show

Adam Cole looks extra cute in a party hat. The Kingdom will be ringside during every match.

reDRagon defeated Jay Lethal and Truth Martini

Truth Martini hit a Canadian Destroyer. Bobby Fish apparently lost the little ponytail thing he was going for. Still very handsome. Kyle O’Reilly did some cool things and the champs retain.

Veda Scott, Miss Natural and Leah Von Dutch defeated Scarlett, Taeler Hendrix and Mary Dobson

Matt Taven threw dollar bills at the ring but his aim was really bad that you could tell everyone felt awkward.  Romantic Touch is doing pervert things. Veda pinned Scarlett.

Roderick Strong defeated Mark Briscoe

Roddy is wearing a polo shirt and short shorts. Strong wins by a roll-up and pours beer on his head.

Cheeseburger vs. Tommaso Ciampa goes to a DQ

Cheeseburger was drunk. Mad Man Pondo (Yes, really) interfered with a stop sign and accidentally hit Cheeseburger. Everyone is really confused but in a good way because everyone is drunk. Delirious comes out to fight Ciampa and defend Cheeseburger’s honor.

Tommaso Ciampa defeated Delirious

Someone tried to start a “BOOK IT GABE” chant but it didn’t work out. Ciampa wins. No one has topped Truth Martini as star of the night yet.

Cedric Alexander defeated ACH

Jimmy Jacobs dissed both guys before the match. ACH came out with a handheld Nintendo video game and did the Carlton Banks dance. Cedric won what was described as the Match of the Night.

Lap dance shenanigans

Strippers (including one male) are out dancing for Bennett. Maria comes out and dances with one of the strippers. Bennett kicks the stripper out and demands Maria dances for him instead. She says wait for the honeymoon. Comedy segment here. Shades of Chikara.

Jay Briscoe vs. Rhino is a no contest

Adam Cole demands Rhino hit Jay Briscoe with a chair but he defies him. The Kingdom attacks both men. Mark Briscoe comes out for the save and we have a trios match. It’s being described as a very Chikara-like show following the last two segments.

Jay Briscoe, Mark Briscoe and Rhino defeated Michael Bennett, Adam Cole and Matt Taven

More comedy with The Kingdom suffering the effects of drinking all night. Adam Cole dry heaves and Matt Taven has to use the bathroom. Jay hits the Jay Driller on the groom to win the match and close the show.