Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.
Every so often, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this time: WWF Spring/Summer 1992 Catalog Special.
Hey, remember the ’90s? The clothes, the hair, what were we thinking?! I guess the cartoons were pretty good though. Anyway, terrible segues aside, one thing I remember about the ’90s is DESPERATELY wanting WWF merch but never being able to get it – sure, I had the action figures and the trading cards, but I wanted MORE and my main window into wrestling merchandise nirvana was the WWF catalog.
The catalog came with every issue of the WWF magazine and I’ve managed to get a hold of one, thanks to good brother @AlexanderME. It’s the Spring/Summer 1992 edition, to be precise, and I’m proud to present to you some beautiful hi-res scans (or at least as hi-res as my mediocre scanner allows):
Done wallowing in nostalgia? Cool, because now I’m going to make fun of all of it. LET’S GET STARTED.
Hulk Hogan camera
Oh, okay, so it’s a Hulk Hogan branded camera, that’s pretty simple, right? WRONG. Just check out the description:
“Hulk Hogan will appear on every photo you take!” Wait… what? I’m pretty sure that’s the plot of, like, three Japanese horror films. Why would you want to welcome such demonic witchcraft into your life for £11 (plus shipping and handling)?
Hulk Hogan hand-cut t-shirt
Apparently, this is ‘hand-cut’, which is complete BULLSHIT - every true Hulkamaniac knows that the Hulkster used his bare hands to tear his shirts into whatever style he saw fit, he wouldn’t need to cut them.
Hulk Hogan workout bear
What makes him a workout bear?
Oh, of course, his workout wear. The workout bear in his workout wear / here to pump some iron like he just don’t care / flexing his muscles so you stop and stare / don’t come at him, bro, you ain’t got a prayer. (“The Workout Bear Rap”, Wrestling On Earth Records, 2014). Continue reading