Take off your fedoras (Why are you wearing two fedoras? Why are you wearing one fedora?) and clean your glasses out of respect, because it’s time to reveal your Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

This week we had something incredible happen. The President of The United Sates of America called us for a favor. He said he was feeling a little down because of Syria and he just found out that ‘Go On’ wasn’t returning this season to NBC. I made fun of him a little for being late to the news but he awkwardly switched back to his point before I could feel too embarrassed about laughing at “The Prez.” Oh yeah, I called him that too…

President Mr. Obama said he needed something to lift his red, white, and blue spirit. Something that only we could give him. He wanted to pick Wrestling On Earth’s Sexy Wrestler of The Week.

I told him that this was a democratically elected position voted on by the loved readers of this site. I told him he could vote but he could not pick it by himself. He should understand that. He had to be elected fairly.

He told me “no, I’m going to pick” and then my phone shocked me. I said “okay, yeah, no problem, guy.”

Luckily, his pick was the same as the voted winner so it all worked out. Congratulations to our Sexy Wrestler of The Week, Adam Cole on reclaiming The Throne of Sexy and lifting our president’s spirit. This just feels right, doesn’t it? See you next week!