WWE returns to PPV with Survivor Series. The Wyatt Family and a couple of alligators are on the poster.

Giving their thoughs and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett.

Pre-show match. Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz:

typicalROHfan:

The outlook of Mike the Miz from the internet is very interesting to me. More interesting than anything The Miz does on television. Many who loathed him are excited to see him as a heel again but personally, he bores me even more as a heel than he does as a face. The heel turn instantly saddened me as I’m fearful of his role growing on RAW again.

On the other side of the field, Kofi Kingston is stuck in WWE purgatory. These two have had way too many matches over the years and very few have delivered. You’d think this was the least interesting match on the card but Survivor Series 2013 defies the world of logic.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Mike wins.

Tim:

There’s one sentence that has been consistently going through my head while previewing WWE PPVs for the last few months. That sentence could be used on this match as well. “I do not care.” I know The Miz turning heel has got some people excited but I personally don’t see him great as a heel or face. Him going against Kofi again is nothing of note. Kofi should be so much more by now. I guess The Miz will get the win here to solidify his “heel” turn.

Interest Level: 1/10
Prediction: The Miz wins.

Tom:

Nice to see Miz reclaim his throne as Mr. PPV Pre-Show. I think the only possible reason anyone could have to be interested in this is to see if Miz changes anything about how he performs, now he’s back to being a heel (though even that isn’t much of an incentive, because he never did much to change things up when he turned face last year). I like Kofi but he’s been such a mid-card mainstay that it’s close to impossible to look forward to his matches with guys he’s wrestled a hundred times before.

Interest Level: 1/10
Prediction: Kofi wins.

Big E Langston (c) vs. Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Title:

typicalROHfan:

I love Big E Langston and he could be the guy who has what it takes to make a mid-card title relevant. The problem is that Curtis Axel is in a PPV singles match. Yawn. Any interest for this as a PPV match was lost with the (somewhat) big moment of Big E winning the title happening on RAW stripping away any appeal this match would have.

Interest Level: 3/10
Prediction: Big E Langston. All day, son.

Tim:

Curtis Axel is one of the most boring parts of WWE TV right now. He has no charisma at all. Big E Langston is one of WWE’s brightest future stars. He is purely incredible on all fronts. I think Langston as Intercontinental Champion is a great move and I popped huge for him winning it, however this match being against Axel puts me to sleep just thinking about it and I hate that. Langston will retain the title here.

Interest Level: 1/10
Prediction: Big E Langston retains the title.

Tom:

We love Big E Langston. We hate Curtis Axel.

Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: Big E retains.

Team Total Divas (Natalya, Brie and Nikki Bella, Naomi and Cameron, Eva Marie & JoJo) vs. Team Not Total Divas (AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Aksana & Summer Rae):

typicalROHfan:

Interest Level: No/10
Prediction: No.

Tim:

No thank you.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Someone will win.

Tom:

The only fun to be had from this match will be spotting the ‘real’ moments which will end up being highlighted on Total Divas. Will Naomi start shooting on Aksana? Will Eva Marie show any kind of emotion?

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Team Not Total Divas wins because things start getting REAL on the other team.

Cody Rhodes and Goldust, The Usos & Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield and The Real Americans

typicalROHfan:

The only match on this show I care about at all. Though less practical, The Shield Americans are a more enjoyable team to me than The Shield and The Wyatt Family could have been. I’ll take Cesaro and even Swagger over anyone on The Wyatt Family so this is my heel faction dream team.

The faces are a wonderful squad as well as The Rhodes are on fire, The Usos are getting a well deserved Survivor Series match and Rey Mysterio is a legend. Mysterio’s return is the only thing that makes this feel like a “big” PPV. I hope we get Mysterio matches with Seth Rollins and Antonio Cesaro on RAW in the next few months.

Interest Level: 10/10
Prediction: The Shield Americans defeat Team Mysterio. Roman Reigns and Antonio Cesaro survive.

Tim:

Cody Rhodes, Goldust, and The Shield have been the absolute best thing about watching Raw over the last couple of months. Add a returning Rey Mysterio and Antonio Cesaro? We get the match of the night. Jack Swagger can’t even hurt this… I don’t think. This match is definitely what I am looking forward to the most. I see Team Mysterio winning by Mysterio overcoming the odds.

Interest Level: 9/10
Prediction: Team Mysterio wins.

Tom:

So obviously the match of the night, it’s not even funny. This should be great. The addition of Mysterio is genuinely exciting and should hopefully lead to some fun feuds down the line – Cesaro seems like the obvious choice, but I’d be into seeing him have a singles programme with anyone from the Shield Americans who isn’t Jack Swagger (and yes, of course that includes Zeb Colter).

Interest Level: 9/10
Prediction: Team Mysterio wins, Rey is the sole survivor.

CM Punk and Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan)

typicalROHfan:

I don’t care about a match with Daniel Bryan and CM Punk teaming on PPV. Amazing how things change. I guess this event could be what makes me buy into The Wyatt Family as more than beards and fedoras that Twitter is drawn to if they put out a strong performance.

There have been teases in the past to “the devil” instructing Bray Wyatt to deliver his wrath onto unsuspecting babyfaces. Is this a metaphorical devil? Is it a human devil like Vince McMahon? A douche chills devil like The Miz? For this match to have any impact, I think there needs to be a reveal or at least a new member added to the Family.

There’s also the chance of Punk or even Bryan being the guy pulling the strings and a big heel turn happening here. It’s really the only thing interesting here and I’m fairly certain this is all in my head and it will just be a normal match.

Interest Level: 4/10
Prediction: Wyatt wins.

Tim:

Daniel Bryan and CM Punk can bring the goods, of course. Luke Harper is a force to be reckoned with. That Rowan or whatever his name is doesn’t do anything for me so there’s that. I think this will be the second best match of the night and maybe even be THE best after it’s all said and done. I do see this as a stepping stone for The Wyatts.

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: The Wyatts win.

Tom:

The road to CM Punk and Daniel Bryan’s Wrestlemania match begins here! Or at least I assume that’s what this is all about. What does this do for Bray Wyatt, ultimately? Is it a stepping stone to him actually being in the ring with Punk and/or Bryan at TLC? I just want a reason to care about him, man. I don’t think debuting another Wyatt Family member would do much, and having it revealed that Bray is answering to a ‘higher power’ kind of kills his whole deal. Just let me care!

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: The Wyatt Family wins.

John Cena (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Title:

typicalROHfan:

Similar to the Intercontinental title match, this has lost any appeal it had. Last PPV, we had Cena’s return and a slightly fresh title match as Cena didn’t hold that specific title in quite some time. This is the rematch with the most intriguing Cena moments between PPV’s involving Damien Sandow, Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro yet nothing with Del Rio.

Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: Cena wins. DUH.

Tim:

We all know what happens here and how it goes down. Cena overcomes all. We get a speech we’ve heard a million times on Monday Night.

Interest Level: 3/10
Prediction: Cena retains the title.

Tom:

Cena winning the World Title put an interesting twist on things, but now we’re in the holding period where nothing interesting can happen until the Rumble, so bring on the Del Rio rematch. Del Rio is such a weird guy to me. I don’t actively dislike him but I always dread his matches slightly. It might be PTSD (Post Trauma Smackdown Disorder) that does it, I just associate him with my time being completely wasted.

Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: Cena retains.

Randy Orton (c) vs. The Big Show for the WWE Title:

typicalROHfan:

No foreseeable outcome will lead to me being content. Big Show wins the title? Yawn. Orton retains? If we all had Randy Orton’s “voices” in our heads, insomnia would no longer exist. Kane interferes? Ugh. A screw job finish? Double ugh. Triple H interferes? Triple Ugh. Wordplay intended.

Big Show has a rich history of dulling down Survivor Series and now he’s facing someone less interesting than he is. This has the makings to be very bad. This entire card could very well rival any other Survivor Series as being the worst event of its name.

Since I was without laptop this week and unable to deliver a Seven Things column, here’s Seven Things That Could Be Interesting In The Survivor Series Main Event:

• • Boston fans chant for Daniel Bryan the entire match.
  • More chants turn this into Orton/Sheamus RAW after WM the sequel.
  • The ring accidentally breaks. Emphasis on accidentally.
  • The lights go out.
  • The crowd is so silent we hear a Big Show fart.
  • Triple H trips and falls circa Vince McMahon Royal Rumble 2005.
  • Hulk Hogan drives a monster truck down to the ring and runs over Big Show again.

Interest Level: -10/10
Prediction: Atheists win.

Tim:

Why God? Why?? I don’t know what I did to deserve this.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: I don’t care enough to watch Raw the next night.

Tom:

I’m actively avoiding doing certain chores in anticipation of this match because I want something to keep me busy while it’s on. Anyway, I don’t know what you’ve got planned, but why not play this match between Orton and Big Show from 2009 while you’re watching it and see if you can spot any differences? It won’t be entertaining but at least it’ll keep you somewhat active.

Interest Level: UNACCEPTABLE/10
Prediction: Orton retains and somehow avoids being blamed for literally zero people buying the PPV.