ScoopZone Elite: January 20, 2014

We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

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News for The Week of January 20, 2014

WWE

• WWE plans on pushing Kofi Kingston.

• WWE is considering re-branding their Divas roster as “The Eskimo Sisters of CM Punk Division.”

• Ryback was told by WWE management to grow his hair out and dye it pink as he continues his transition from “the Goldberg of 2012″ to “the Amanda Bynes of 2014.”

• Breaking: We have just received word that WWE have forgotten about Kofi Kingston again.

 TNA

• After losing their spot at Universal Studios, TNA have been eyeing the possibility of taping a few episodes of Impact at various birthday parties.

• TNA revealed that they have a new investor in the company last Thursday. We can confirm that they have no clue who it’s going to be yet.

 Other

• Kanye West and Kim Kardashian discussed naming a future child “Chikara” but were scared off by the #IAMChikara tweets.

• In response to the popular commercial, Lance Storm has run extensive testing and exclusively reported to us that “Beats by Dre headphones” could NOT drown out the sound of hundreds of fans heckling you.