This Or That (5/20/2014)

Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

More likely to be the next WWE champ?

The field – 56%, John Cena – 44%

Who will step up more in Daniel Bryan’s absence?

Cody Rhodes – 65%, Dolph Ziggler – 35%

More valuable free agent?

Prince Devitt – 69%, Bad Influence – 31%

Better small meal?

Sandwiches – 58%, Soup – 42%

If his estimated in ring return date is Summerslam, should Daniel Bryan be stripped of the WWE title: YES or NO?

Should he?

Tim:

I think if this ends up being the case they could easily go the interim champion route or just set it up so that when he comes back he can say he is the real WWE World Heavyweight Champion. That would only be three PPVs without him. It would be a great way for him to return and it would be an easy PPV match set-up.

NO

Joey:

With the WWE Network, you are basically punting on a large number of traditional PPV buys so the emphasis on Payback and Money In The Bank to be amazing are not as great as many would think. From a storyline point of view, you can have Kane run Bryan off next week and steal the titles, going around proclaiming himself champion despite Bryan being the recognized title holder. Summerslam, we see the blow off to the feud and Bryan never “loses” the championship.

NO

Tom:

Bryan holding onto the championship while he can’t defend it won’t do him any favours. It sucks that it has to happen, but nothing would be dumber than having a ‘fighting champion’ who can’t fight. Interim champions are the dirt worst, so none of that, please.

I’ll admit that seeing him just hand over the belt to Stephanie or whoever will be a bummer, but fuck it, he can do it in a way that still makes him seem defiant and firey. Like, he can throw it in a river or something, that usually works.

Anyway, rather than messing around with two belts or an interim champ, I think just taking it off him with the guarantee he’ll get a title match once he’s back is the best way option. Ideally, we’ll get a fun tournament to decide the new champ and then a great Bryan return at Summerslam to reset things.

YES

More exciting rumored NXT signing pair: KENTA and Prince Devitt or Kevin Steen and Willie Mack?

Who ya got?

Tim:

There is absolutely no one I would be happier to see get a WWE contract than Kevin Steen. KENTA going to WWE, if true, will blow my mind in all of the right ways. I never thought that could or would happen. I always felt like it was only a matter of time before Devitt would get a contract but I would still be excited to see him there.

Willie Mack, though… I’ve been over Willie Mack for a while now. He seemed to peak for a few months a couple of years back and then never really stood out to me again. Hopefully he will grow into someone I can get behind again as a fan while in NXT. Out of the two groups I think I am more interested and excited about seeing Steen and Mack in the WWE system and how they will be handled.

Kevin Steen and Willie Mack

Joey:

Not to break the fourth wall but I specifically put this question together because it was nearly impossible for me to pick so assume it may be the same for others. KENTA and Prince Devitt are the two guys that made me want to pay attention to Japanese wrestling and it makes me very happy that I’ll get to see them in the States but I have to go with Kevin Steen and Willie Mack.

I’m quite excited to see how Steen would do in WWE and if he would have any interactions with Sami Zayn in NXT. Willie Mack is one of my favorite indie wrestlers who has yet to really carve a name for himself so it’s even more fun to see if he’s able to do so in WWE, basically launching his own ascension on a higher platform. Give me the PWG dudes over the best of Japan right here.

Kevin Steen and Willie Mack

Tom:

Usually, I’d find a way to support the less popular choice but not only does my lack of familiarity with Japanese wrasslin’ make that not an option, Kevin Steen getting a chance with WWE has been my most hoped for wrestling thing for a while. I think Willie Mack getting a shot is great news too, but given how talented Steen is as both a talent and a talker, I really think he has a good chance of being fast-tracked through developmental.

Shamefully, I’ve never seen a KENTA match and my familiarity with Devitt is still mostly limited to ‘that sexy guy with the rad Marvel body-paint’, but I’m really hoping they work out too.

Kevin Steen and Willie Mack

Who would win in a fight: The Avengers or Godzilla?

WARRRRRRRRRRRR! This question is dedicated to @podjohnnyringo. (We’re only counting Avengers from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.)

Tim:

Well, this is pretty obvious. The Hulk jumps in Godzillas mouth and then goes into the monster’s body to beat him into a debilitated state. He then exits as The Avengers swap witty remark back and forth so much that all of their eyes get stuck from winking at the camera. The credits roll and then we get a post-credits scene where we see Godzilla coming back but then the exact same scenario plays out. Then MORE credits roll. You are stuck in time at the movie theater for years.

The large amounts of fans that go see the film are not seen again for decades. When they finally break free of the movie they go outside to celebrate their new appreciation of life. In the middle of the huge parades of ow they look up and Godzilla is standing over them. They all think The Hulk will save them because they have had that scene embedded into their heads for the past ten years. He doesn’t because The Avengers aren’t real and everyone dies. You die while winking. Earth is now Godzilla’s playground until the end of time.

The Avengers in a movie but then Godzilla in real life

Joey:

OK I love The Avengers but let’s be real. Here’s how it goes down. Thor’s dad has a tummy ache so Thor spends 2 hours whining about it, shows up late to the fight. Iron Man is hung over so he accidentally takes out Captain America then vomits on the shield before passing out. Undermanned, Hawkeye and Black Widow get squashed like the jobbers they are.

Godzilla gives The Incredible Hulk flowers and he turns into soft old Bruce Banner and runs away. Thor finally shows up and cuts a monotone promo about avenging his dad’s gas. Godzilla steps on him and we are saved from a third Thor film. Godzilla reigns supreme! Basically Godzilla can beat them all in his sleep except Hulk and I think old ‘Zilla can sweet talk Bruce Banner into loving him.

Godzilla

Tom:

I don’t really know enough about Godzilla to know how he work – is he like the Hulk, in that the angrier he gets, the stronger he gets? If that’s the case, this could be quite the battle, since it’ll only end with someone getting tossed into the sun.

HOWEVER, the deciding factor is going to be my main man Thor. He’s fought massive serpents and lizards for countless millenia, so I don’t think Brother ‘Zilla’s going to be too much of a challenge. Sure, there’s the atomic breath deal, but I think he can cope. The others can watch while Asgard’s favourite son gets the job done.

The Avengers

Better panda: Panda bears or red pandas?

Which wonderful animal do you prefer? YES! We’re doing two non-wrestling related topics this week because Stone Cold said so.

Tim:

Pandas are cool, man. Sometimes I like to think about how crazy it is that they exist. They’re pretty unique because they are the only bear that wears face paint. Here are some really cool and little known facts about pandas that make me like them:

1. Pandas have a keen sense of direction. Some people used to own pandas only to use them as a compass.

2. Pandas are huge fans of Joaquin Phoenix. Any zoo you visit that has pandas will definitely have a Joaquin Phoenix movie for the pandas to watch. Usually pandas prefer to watch Ladder 49.

3. Pandas usually vote democrat. As of the 2010 census, 2 out of every 3 pandas lean to the left.

So there you have it. These are just some of the reasons why I love panda bears.

Panda bears

Joey:

In my recent trips to my local zoo, I’ve fallen in love with red pandas. They’re basically adorable in every which way. I’ll admit that part of my decision is that I’m a coward and the panda bear being able to kick my ass with utter ease loses a point or two. Mostly, I just want to be a red panda in my next life hanging on the trees and elusively running for hours. Here’s a video of my local zoo’s red pandas being quite cute and playing tag.

I’m going to lose so much money this Summer going to observe these wonderful friends.

Red pandas

Tom:

Yo, you know what’s a shoot? When we went to San Diego Zoo a couple years back, we didn’t even bother checking out the panda exhibit. The enclosure was all fenced off and there was a huge line for it, so since we only had a few hours to take in the rest of the zoo, we skipped those bamboo-eating pricks. Anyway, that soured me on pandas, and I am now convinced they are the divas of the animal kingdom.

Meanwhile, red pandas NEVER disappoint. They’re always some of the more active and most adorable animals you can hope to see, and brother, that’s called workrate. LOOK IT UP. What’s more, my wife Sydney (of Wrestling With Food fame) wrote a school report on them when she was in high school, so red panda love is an extremely critical part of my marriage.

Red pandas