This Or That (12/24/2014)

Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

Who do you love more?

Sami Zayn – 69%, El Generico – 31%

Would you trust a fruit basket from “the IWC?”

No – 60%, Yes – 40%

Better announcer?

Joey Styles – 59%, Tony Schiavone – 41%

Better Tom?

Tom Hanks – 88%, Tom Cruise – 12%

Better ’80s Christmas movie: A Christmas Story or Christmas Vacation?

Tim:

Probably my top two favorite Christmas movies. I am not much of a holiday person. I don’t get really excited for this time of year or anything but these two movies help me through it. I’m going to say that A Christmas Story is the better of the two. It’s how it has to be and I am fine with my decision so get off of my case, buster.

While I love Christmas Vacation there’s just something about A Christmas Story’s mix of a classic Christmas movie vibe meeting the form of humor it brings. It’s non-stop laughs and with as fast as I grow tired of things, especially movies that get quoted too much, A Christmas Story has yet to get old to me. It’s just good stuff. I don’t think I could watch Christmas Vacation over and over again like I do with it’s competition here.

…Also, Mr. Parker is one of the best character’s in a comedy ever and even makes a great character like Clark Griswold look bad.

A Christmas Story

Joey:

Both are good but neither have that particular Christmas association in my heart like the Home Alone films or Jingle All The Way does. Partly due to age but if I had to pick one, it would be A Christmas Story. Overexposure of the 24 hour marathon every year helps but it’s always worth the watch at least once and feels like part of Christmas due to the routine. I have to be in a specific mood to enjoy Christmas Vacation and most years, it isn’t a part of my Christmas time viewings.

A Christmas Story

Tom:

I am completely disgusted that Scrooged, The Santa Clause, Die Hard and Die Hard 2: Die Harder were not included as options in any of this week’s themed polls. Sure, there are a lot of good Christmas movies but EVEN SO, their exclusion feels like a heavy shot and I just don’t know if they deserve it.

Moving on: IT’S THAT TIME! THAT SPECIAL TIME OF YEAR! HIP HIP HOORAY IT’S A CHRISTMAS VACATION! Christmas Vacation has one of the all-time great opening songs and, even though the film itself has become a template for pretty much every crappy Christmas movie from the past 25 years, it’s still GOOD STUFF and testament to the forgotten truth that Chevy Chase was once pretty funny.

As for A Christmas Story, I can confirm that I’ve not seen it so whatever, back off.

Christmas Vacation 

Better Home Alone: Home Alone or Home Alone 2: Lost In New York?

This deserved its own question. Sorry to @ULTIMATEMARKOUT for not including Home Alone 4.

Tim:

It’s probably because I have seen Home Alone 2 way more and have grown somewhat sick of it but I find myself preferring the first Home Alone film when deciding which to view. They’re both enjoyable though. Man, Buzz really sucks though. Have you seen that guy, lately?

Home Alone

Joey:

My favorite Christmas films! Both are utter classics that should allow Macaulay Culkin to be rich for the rest of his life. I have to lean towards the sequel for a few reasons. The New York tie-in adds a lot to it since I’ve lived here all my life. The hotel scenes may be among my favorite in all of film! Rob Schneider wasn’t always an embarrassment. When finding movies to watch this week, Home Alone 2 was the first one I looked for therefore it clearly wins out.

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York

Tom:

Both films are extremely strong. Home Alone might be the true classic, but Home Alone 2… I dunno, Home Alone 2 was always the more compelling fantasy. Being at home is pretty cool because that’s where all my stuff is and I’ve got some pretty sweet stuff. However, being in New York City with your dad’s credit cards in a massive fancy hotel with room service and Tim Curry as the snooty manager? Yeah, that’s the real deal.

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York

Better 2000s Christmas movie: Bad Santa or Elf?

Tim:

I can’t stand Bad Santa and would rather watch Elf a million times over it. Elf has reached a weird place where I’m absolutely sick of it but, if I’m being honest, I think it’s not bad at all and will probably really like it again in a few years. Bad Santa may not be over-quoted and such but it is just not enjoyable for me. Only one of these movies had Bob Newhart in it and a scene where Peter Dinklage, Amy Sedaris, Andy Richter, Kyle Gass, and James Caan are all in the same shot. Guess who wins?

Elf

Joey:

DAMN IT. TOM STOLE MY ANSWER.

Quick recap: Elf is highly overrated and okay at best. Will Ferrell is a very annoying individual. Zooey Deschanel is still wonderful despite being in this overrated movie. Bad Santa was okay. I miss Bernie Mac. These are all very strong opinions I completely stand behind.

Bad Santa

Tom:

I can’t really handle Elf anymore. It seems to be on all the time and, like every Will Ferrell film from the early 2000s, it’s been killed off by dicks constantly quoting and referencing it. Yes, Zooey Deschanel is an ethereal beauty, no-one’s debating that. However, her angelic presence isn’t enough to make it a top tier Christmas film. Elf’s just not that amazing, guys.

I haven’t seen Bad Santa for a good long while and, even though it spawned a bunch of different ‘Bad ______’ movies, I’m sure it probably holds up decently. Billy-Bob Thornton’s a big weirdo and big weirdos are fun to watch act.

Bad Santa

Better Christmas cartoon: How The Grinch Stole Christmas or Frosty the Snowman?

Tim:

When I was five years old I DID NOT cry when Frosty melted. My family doesn’t still bring it up and I am a really big bad ass. I’ve cut wood and have broke sheet rock with my bare hands. Frosty is an ICON (like the great Steve Borden) that not even Dr. Seuss can top so I fully expect you to weep like a weak little baby when the lovable snowman melts into the purest water you’ve ever seen, unlike me. A strong man.

Frosty The Snowman

Joey:

How has Tom never seen either of these in full? They’re like 25 minutes! Our 4-5 year age gap is showing here.

Aside from Home Alone, Frosty the Snowman was my childhood Christmas love. Frosty would air every Friday night after Thanksgiving. It was my unofficial welcome to Christmas time bandwagon. The Grinch was cool but seeing a snowman come to life was just too great. The VHS was tied with the Royal Rumble 1994 for lasting the longest in my collection.

Frosty the Snowman

Tom:

I’ve not seen either of these all the way through. The Grinch seems like a dickhead but, as my collection of shirts from Barbershop Window proves, I’m the Internet’s leading #HEEL so I can’t help but go for the bad guy. Also, Frosty seems like he’s probably a huge pervert.

ADDENDUM: To reply to Joey’s heavy shot, my not having seen these isn’t a matter of age, it’s a matter of location – these two cartoons aren’t really shown in the UK, we have our own Christmas classics like the Wallace and Gromit specials and The Snowman (he’s not given a name, he’s not as arrogant as his American equivalent).

How The Grinch Stole Christmas