Wrestling With Food: Jericho Doodles

    • Wrestling With Food: Jericho Doodles

      The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

      Happy New Year, my little buttery crumpets! Are you ready for another recipe review featuring a few scattered, poorly lit images and hidden text? Let’s begin!

      Okay, so here’s the truth. I’m annoyed that they gave the delicious snickerdoodle to Jericho for Jericho Doodles: “Doodles Are Jericho”. I realize at the time when this fantastic cookbook was actually published, he was a bigger deal and more fun. I absolutely remember how exciting his entrance was when I would watch wrestling then, but now… well, he’s a guy who seems decidedly less excited about wrestling. Nowadays, he’ll do a perfectly FINE AMA on Reddit but is he the Keanu Reeves of the AMA? He is not.

      What I’m saying is, today’s Jericho kind of deserves a corn bread recipe. A chicken soup recipe, maybe. Meatloaf? I dunno. But snickerdoodles are my second favorite type of cookie, and I sort of resented buying my umpteenth bottle of cream of tartar in the name of Chris Jericho and/or Fozzie. SORRY FOR THIS CONTROVERSIAL OPINION.

      Sidenote: I watched Cursed on Netflix the other day (whatever, it was New Year’s Day and I apologize for nothing) and I thought Fozzie was the opening band. Nope! It was Bowling For Soup. Am I doing a disservice to Fozzie or to Bowling For Soup? You decide.

      But let’s get going. As usual, here are the ingredients! And guys, guess how many (different) pictures I of the following items on my phone? If I do a WWF Cookbook dessert recipe, I automatically grab two sticks of butter before even looking at the rest of the list.

       

      The ingredients:

      3 ¾ cups flour

      ½ teaspoon baking soda

      ½ teaspoon salt

      ½ cream of tartar

      1 cup (2 sticks) butter

      2 cups plus 3 tablespoons sugar

      2 eggs

      ¼ cup milk

      1 teaspoon vanilla

      1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

      Nothing crazy here. This is a perfectly standard snickerdoodle recipe. I do think they were a little low on the cinnamon but more on that later.

      The process:

      1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

      Done. Again, having a newer oven that heats evenly has vastly improved the results of some of these recipes. We’ll be moving in the next month or so though, and the next recipes will be at the mercy of whatever our new apartment has.

      2. Grease a cookie sheet.

      Look, I had the ones that you don’t have to grease. I greased it a little, because I hate not to pay attention to instructions, but I don’t think this is a hugely necessary step. You do what you like, though.

      3. In a medium bowl, stir the flour, baking soda, and salt.

      4. In another bowl, beat the butter for 30 seconds, then add 2 cups of the sugar and beat until fluffy. Add the eggs, milk, and vanilla. Beat well. Add the dry ingredients to the beaten mixture, beating until well combined.

      HELL OF A STEP FOUR. Six steps in one step. This cookbook plays by it’s own rules. Two things happened here:

      One: The mix looked like vomit for a scary second.

      Two: I lack the catlike reflexes of Steve Blackman, and I spilled some vanilla on my shoe.

      To be fair, we have a beautiful picture of Jericho in a delightfully shiny shirt on the next page, so maybe they didn’t want to lose that image to actually write out the recipe in more detail.

      But like I said, a lot going on in Step 4.

      5. Shape the dough balls into 1-inch balls. Mix the remaining 3 tablespoons sugar with the cinnamon and roll the dough balls in the mixture to coat them. Flatten the balls slightly with the back of the spoon.

      NOTE: Like a lot of cookie recipes, I highly recommend chilling the dough for a little while in the fridge because it’s easier to handle. Go have a cup of coffee or something, watch an episode of Income Property and wonder how folks have all this extra money to buy something else when they already have a mortgage.

      ANOTHER NOTE:  Having made snickerdoodles before, I think this sugar: cinnamon ratio is well, wrong. I basically poured sugar into a plate and mixed in more than whatever they said to do with the cinnamon. This recipe makes 6 dozen cookies, and they just wanted one mere teaspoon of cinnamon for that many? Fuck no, WWE. I don’t know if there was a cinnamon shortage during the Attitude Era, but you can probably use a lot more than one goddamn teaspoon.

      I apologize for my passion about cinnamon but I recently started sprinkling a little into my coffee and it’s amazing. How did I not do it before?

      6. Place balls on the cookie sheet and bake 8 minutes, or until light golden.

      ET VOILA. HERE YOU ARE, SOME POORLY LIT COOKIES THAT I OBVIOUSLY FORGOT TO FLATTEN WITH THE BACK OF A SPOOON.

       

      The verdict:

      Me:

      Guys, I’m going to deliver a truth bomb.  I made these months ago and don’t remember!  I think they were fine.  A little dry.  Would I make this recipe again?  No.  You know what I’ve made for nearly every family party?  The Rock’s cookies.  Solid crowd pleaser.    But there are better snickerdoodle recipes out there.

      My star rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

      Comments from Tom:

      Like current Chris Jericho, these cookies were disappintingly bland and wore out their welcome almost immediately. Heavy shot, sure hope he deserves it.

      Tom’s star rating: 1¾ out of 5 stars

      OKAY THAT’S IT. Tweet me @Sydneyb79 with your comments or suggestions for any future recipes!

      – Look out for another Wrestling With Food soon, or check the Wrestling With Food archives for a full rundown of all the recipes covered so far. In the meantime, you can follow Sydney on Twitter.

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