Come one. Come all. It is time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!
Let me tell you all something. I had to postpone this for two extra days because the incredible and overwhelming amount of votes that came in this time around. I just could not count them all. So after hiring some help from V0te C0unterz Inc., a service specializing in professional vote counting out of North Carolina, the results are finally in!
What made this fun for me is that I didn’t even know who the winner as until today when the two contracted vote-counters showed me who won out of their specific piles of votes. I didn’t even see one vote for this person in my stack of votes! Democracy is often surprising like this. That’s why it is so dang cool and legit.
There it is! Jeff Hardy is your Sexy Wrestler of The Week. This is his first win. My helpers this week, Bert and Glenn said it was probably because people “think his face paint is dope” or “maybe they feel they owe him something.” I think it is just because our voters are good people and can find the sexy in anyone.
One final thank you to Bert and Glenn from V0te C0unterz Inc. They were very adamant about doing their job fast and precise for you, the voters. They even put sugar on their nose when they felt sleepy and carried around light bulbs in case they were forced to count in the dark! That’s dedication. I’ll definitely be using their services again.