WWE F̷a̷s̷t̷l̷a̷n̷e̷ Race Cars 2016 Preview and Predictions

Vroom vroom.

Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV incorrectly known as Fastlane are members of the site @JoeyOnEarth, @TimWelcomed and @TomBlargh.

Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio in a 2 out of 3 Falls Match for the United States Championship

Joey:

The rivalry between Kalisto and Alberto Del Rio has been met with its fair shares of ups and downs. I’m not particularly excited about this but it’s not something I plan to skip. Kalisto being champ is something new and cool so I’m hopeful of that continuing.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Kalisto wins.

Tim:

I like the idea of Kalisto as champ. He fresh and I really think he has potential. This feud has just been odd though. Every match is a mixture of cool moments and really bad flubs. ADR has been pretty pathetic this go-around. This seems like the blow-off. I’m pretty happy about that. I can totally watch these two try this out one more time. There are worse ways to spend my time. How about we do Kalisto vs Neville next?

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Kalisto wins.

Tom:

I can’t do it. I’m sorry. I like Kalisto and I wish they’d give him someone more interesting to scrap with because Berty D.R. is doing nothing for me right now. Best of luck to the both of them though (with the luck divided in Kalisto’s favour on an 80/20 split).

Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: I’m too tired.

The New Day appear on The Cutting Edge Peep Show

Joey:

This should be a humorous and interesting segment. I’m very happy this is happening instead of another random match with the Usos. My assumption is this segment is used to set up a TLC Match between The New Day, Usos and Dudz at Wrestlemania.

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: TLC WM match is announced.

Tim:

Sure, why not? The New Day are fun to watch no matter what. The Dudleyz will have to join in though… and we’ll have to hear references about those old TLC matches again. Alright, maybe this won’t be all that fun.

Interest Level: 4/10
Prediction: Dudleyz show up and I fix some supper.

Tom:

Mostly, I’m hoping we get a fantastic sneak peak at Edge and Christian’s new Network show, because I have a feeling it will have shades of Swerved to it and that will be just wonderful. New Day interacting with Attitude Era stars is always a pleasure regardless though, so this should be fun (until the Dudley Boyz come out).

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: I ask Tim about his supper.

The Wyatt Family vs. Ryback, Kane and Big Show

Joey:

Why am I writing this? Why will I watch this? What am I doing with my life?

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: The Wyatt Family wins.

Tim:

I’m actually refusing to watch this match. I am going boycott this one match and make a big deal about it. I am thankful they stuck the five most boring people into one singular match though. You’ll rise above all of this one day, Luke Harper.

Interest Level: -10/10
Prediction: Who cares?

Tom:

I’m still riding the high of Big Show’s Stone Cold podcast interview so I’m feeling very willing to give “The Big Nasty Bastard” Paul Wight a fair shake of things (provided this doesn’t go longer than three minutes).

Interest Level: X/10
Prediction: The Wyatts

Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs. Naomi and Tamina

Joey:

I love three of the wrestlers in this match. I’m on board with the likely Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch Wrestlemania match and that obviously means they’re getting the win here. My expectations are Sasha turning on Becky after the match.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch win.

Tim:

I’m excited for this one. Naomi can be amazing. Remember when she should have won season 3 of NXT and everyone they made a big deal out of from that group is gone yet she’s still here doing hardly anything of note? Sasha is one of the most entertaining wrestlers around. Becky Lynch has really stepped up even though she was already pretty good. I could not care less about Tamina but oh well! This should be a good tag match.

Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch win.

Tom:

Yeah, okay! I’m more into the idea of this than I was expecting, I think the Sasha/Becky dynamic is good stuff (though it seems fairly inevitable that Becky will end up laid out afterwards for the second PPV running and look like the biggest dolt around).

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: Team BAE (yes, I watched NXT back in the day so please show me the appropriate respect!!!) wins, Becky gets knocked about afterwards and looks sad.

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella for the Divas Championship

Joey:

Weird to think this may be the final Bella match we ever see. I’ll miss Brie and hopefully she has a great final match here to end her in-ring career. Charlotte has been improved with the character change and the story here has been done very well. I have faith in the match delivering.

Side note: Ric Flair can go home. Aside from a few drunks in the crowd wanting to “WOO”, does he really add to anything?

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Charlotte wins.

Tim:

I hope Brie shows everyone once and for all why she is the best Bella and one of the best female wrestlers in WWE. It’s all about Brie Mode. Charlotte is alright but Ric Flair shouldn’t have a job. Hopefully Brie throws him off the stage. I’m actually excited for this one as I have a feeling it will be better than expected and Brie Bella WILL walk away with the belt. Yeah, I said it.

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: Brie Bella wins.

Tom:

BRIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE MOOOOOOOODE! Despite having the best music in the biz, I don’t care for Brie at all as a character or as a wrestler, so I’m not really that bothered about this! At all! Charlotte has become MUCH more fun since her turn though, so I have higher hopes for the ‘Mania match. Also, maybe Ric Flair will kiss Brie and Daniel Bryan will come out and give him a stern telling off!!

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Charlotte wins.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship

Joey:

Kevin Owens is amazing and I’m glad they’re going back to him with the Intercontinental Championship. I think he can do good things to build it up and create a big Wrestlemania singles match with AJ Styles that steals the show. If he’s not facing Brock Lesnar or Undertaker, that would be the best scenario for me.

Dolph Ziggler is aggressively uninteresting and I wish he would go on tour with Dane Cook or Gallagher or whoever.

Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: Kevin Owens wins.

Tim:

WWE does their best to make me uninterested in Owens by having him feud with wrestlers I find lame. From Ambrose to Ziggler… c’mon. I’m excited that Kevin Owens is going into WrestleMania with the IC Championship around his waist. I hope they have a great opponent lined up for him. Let’s get this Ziggler shit over with. I’m interested in Owens throwing Ziggler around and talking a lot in the ring at least.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Kevin Owens wins.

Tom:

Why do they keep making Owens fight Ziggler? I thought we settled this up MONTHS ago. Anyway, they have decent matches together, though I think we’ve seen every possible variant of them (except for the one that involves KO throwing Zigman off the stage, so PLEASE LET THAT BE HOW THIS ONE ENDS!)

The most interesting thing will be seeing how this ends and potentially ties into what plans they have for Big Kev at ‘Mania. It’s so weird that the Rumble seemed to set up potential feuds with both AJ and Sami Zayn, neither of which have been followed up on at all. Maybe Ziggler was just to kill time? Hopefully?

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: KO wins.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Joey:

HOT TAKE: I’ve enjoyed AJ Styles’ pair of matches with The Miz more than his matches with Chris Jericho. Styles shows a more aggressive and intense style in matches against Miz, as weird as that is to say. Jericho’s matches with AJ have been fine and I’m assuming they’re waiting until the PPV to do their best work. It should be a good tiebreaker in their short feud. I’m just badly hoping Styles wins and moves on to someone more exciting like Owens or Neville.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: AJ Styles wins.

Tim:

Their Smackdown match was far better than their first Raw match but I’m hoping they’re  saving the good stuff for this PPV match. This whole feud has kind of been boring and that sucks considering the hype around AJ Styles on his way in. I’m excited to see his first one-on-one PPV match though. Here’s to moving on from Jericho for Wrestlemania.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: AJ Styles wins.

Tom:

I’m in the same camp as Joey in terms of preferring AJ with Miz over Jericho. Not that his matches with Jericho were bad, Jericho just seems so sluggish these days. I’d hope that he makes more of an effort to speed things up for a PPV, but who knows!

Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: AJ Styles wins.

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar for the Wrestlemania Title Shot

Joey:

I am officially terrified. WWE has done a great enough job at building Dean Ambrose up that I am panicking he will main event Wrestlemania vs. Triple H. My hatred of Ambrose will never end. I know he’s talented and has tremendous momentum right now but I can’t stomach him winning here.

The question comes down to which is more influential: Deadpool or Funko Pops. Ambrose is basically a wrestling version of Deadpool so the success of the movie may make him more valuable, ya know? Then again, last week’s reveal of new Funko Pop figures showed Ambrose NOT getting one and that’s truly how I view the star power of someone in WWE. We’re going to see which brand is stronger with the result here.

We all fucking know Brock Lesnar is going to hit the F5, the lights will go out, that weird sound effect will play and the Wyatts will abduct him so I’m not sure why he’s even in this match. It’s Reigns or Ambrose. In all seriousness, I can’t see WWE passing on Reigns again. The chalk wins out.

For one night only, I will be a member of The Roman Empire. #AnyoneButAmbrose

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: Roman Reigns wins.

Tim:

I’d take Ambrose over Reigns any day. They’re both irritating in their own ways but something needs to change. The storytelling isn’t good so I’m hoping for a swerve. I need a shake-up for WrestleMania and unfortunately Ambrose is my last hope. that being said, Lesnar doesn’t feel too special to me anymore so I really don’t care much about this match. It’d be cool if they would start pairing Lesnar against interesting people at some point in the near future. A Triple Threat is good booking for Roman though. He can lay down and jump up with his hot tag moves a few times!

Interest Level: 4/10
Prediction: Roman Reigns wins.

Tom:

I’m pretty frustrated that Joey is doing his best to usurp me as the site’s number one Ambrose hater tbh. Anyway, despite actively disliking Ambrose and being ambivalent towards Reigns, I’m fairly excited for this! Brock is very good at cutting through the bullshit to bring out the best in other wrestlers. Like, what I find most off-putting about Ambrose is all his silly mannerisms and whatnot, but I don’t think he’ll have much of an opportunity to make faces while Brock’s tossing him around.

As far as the finish goes… Wyatt interference to take Brock out of the equation seems inevitable, right? Right. In terms of who actually wins though, a big part of me is starting to expect the ‘Mania main event to be a triple threat. They’ve put so much focus on Ambrose in recent weeks and it’s hard to picture who he’ll be facing otherwise. So yeah, I’m expecting some madness that’ll result Roman and Dean, Best Mates Who Like Drinking Beer and Doing Ladies both being in the main event.

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: Some kind of weird finish where Ambrose and Reigns both win or draw or SOMETHING.