TNA Slammiversary 2014 Preview and Predictions

It’s TNA’s anniversary. Bring stale chocolate and malt liquor.

 

Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @JoeySplashwater, @TimWelcomed and @TomBlackett.

The Von Erichs vs. TBA

Joey:

Likely vs. The Bro Mans minus Robbie E who is filming a CBS reality show with Brooke Adams. All the experts say the Von Erich kids are not very good which makes perfect sense.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Von Erichs go over and are never seen again.

Tim:

I… uh… Okay? I’m not really excited about this but I hope somehow it is good.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Von Erichs win.

Tom:

I haven’t watched more than 10 minutes of each episode of Impact for over a month, so I have NO IDEA what is going on in this show and approx. zero interest. I had no idea that there was a new generation of Von Erichs, aside from Lacey. Will they be as good as she is in the ring? HERE’S HOPING.

Interest Level: No/10
Prediction: Fuck you.

Austin Aries vs. Kenny King (winner goes on to the main event)

Joey:

I will not be watching this show but if I ever look it up afterwards, this is one of the only two matches I can ever see myself watching at any point. Kenny King getting featured on television again is one of the few things in TNA that I can say I approve of. Hopefully the friendship between these two leads to good chemistry.

Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: Austin Asshole Aries wins.

Tim:

This should be an entertaining match.  I’m glad they’ve been using Kenny King again and maybe Austin Aries can bring the best out of him.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Austin Aries wins.

Tom:

Hey, a match that could be pretty fun! Wasn’t expecting that.

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Kenny King wins.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley (winner goes on to the main event)

Joey:

With the change in stipulations, I think we’re going to be get EY vs. Aries vs. Joe in the main event.

Interest Level: 0/10 (Just being honest)
Prediction: Samoa Joe wins.

Tim:

I’ve got to admit, I am curious about this match. Samoa Joe can still have good matches when given the chance and I want to see just what him and Lashley do. It’ll be really bad or really strange. Story-wise, I don’t give a damn about any of this.

Interest Level: 3/10
Prediction: Lashley wins

Tom:

I still like Joe and I haven’t seen enough of Lashley since he returned to have any strong negative opinions, so maybe this will be okay? Or maybe nobody gives a fuck.

Interest Level: 3/10
Prediction: Lashley wins.

Willow vs. Magnus

Joey:

Take your biggest star, put him in a mask and advertise him under a different name even though it’s a rare case where you can use a valuable name! Cross the line to insanity.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Magnus wins with Bram Wham Thank You Ma’am interfering.

Tim:

Willow makes me long for the days where we used to hear Jeff Hardy talking in his head through the power of magic. This is another match I care nothing about.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Willow wins after Jeff Hardy interferes.

Tom:

THINGS ARE GONNA GET ARTISTIC UP IN HERE.

Interest Level: 8/10 for umbrella-based offense, 1/10 for everything else.
Prediction: Magnus wins.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm

Joey:

Sorry about yo’ damn buyrate.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: James Storm wins. He was on Steve Austin’s podcast.

Tim:

Mr. Anderson is not likable. James Storm is not likable. This match is not likable.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Mr. Anderson wins the match BUT WILL HE WIN THE WAR?

Tom:

Why are these two feuding? Are they both face? Both heel? Where’s Sam Shaw? What the FUCK is going?

Interest Level: FUCK OFF/10
Prediction: SHUT UP.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim for the Knockouts Championship

Joey:

Gail Kim is awesome. Angelina Love is not.

Interest Level: Gail/10
Prediction: Gail Kim wins.

Tim:

Gail Kim is one of the VERY few reasons to watch TNA. Maybe one day they’ll hire some decent competition for her.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Angelina Love wins.

Tom:

Are there any other female wrestlers left in the company, aside from Gail and The Beautiful People? Poor Gail.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: Nah.

Sanada vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Tigre Uno vs. Manik vs. Crazzy Steve for the X Division Championship in a Ladder Match

Joey:

Sanada has been the best thing in TNA by far so of course they stick him in a clusterfuck ladder match while all those terrible singles matches take place. So many talented guys in a ladder match should be fun but it feels so forced and just poorly done. A title match announced the week of with no TV build? Featuring a tag team with no ties to the X Division? And a rent-a-clown with a Drake and Josh rip-off name? And a guy who has not been on TV in months? TNA is basically telling you the X Division are just a flippy attraction. Really hope no one here hurts themselves doing something in a pointless match.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Davey Richards wins.

Tim:

This match just seems thrown together but whatever. It has some great wrestlers involved and should be a fun watch. Crazy Steve (I refuse to add the extra “z”) can take a hike though. I want to care about this match more but the very atmosphere of anything in TNA sucks that out of me. It’ll be chaos.

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Tigre Uno wins.

Tom:

COOL, alright, this sounds pretty good. Does Crazzy Steve really spell his name like that? Does the psychological community accept using an extra ‘z’ in your name as being a sign of mental unrest? Anyway, I’m expecting lots of flips and fun with Sanada ultimately getting the win and half these guys not showing up on Impact for three months after as a reward for having the night’s most fun match.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Sanada wins.

TNA Hall of Fame Announcement by Kurt Angle

Joey:

Should be: Jeremy Borash, Gail Kim or Don West
Will be: Taz, Earl Hebner or Dixie Carter

Tim:

Should be: Serg Salinas
Will be: Some football player

Tom:

Should be: Jeremy Borash
Will be: Samoa Joe

Bully Ray vs. Ethan Carter III in a Texas Death Match

Joey:

TNA’s big plans are to have Bully Ray put Dixie Carter through a table in New York. That’s gonna take them to the next level.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: EC3 wins.

Tim:

Eesh. This PPV is probably not going to be good, folks.

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: EC3 wins.

Tom:

God, please let Spud get involved.

Interest Level: 4/10
Prediction: EC3 wins through Spud-terference.

Eric Young vs. Samoa Joe/Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Aries/Kenny King for the TNA World Championship

Joey:

Eric Young as champ isn’t among the top 15 things wrong with TNA right now but his reign was a bit sabotaged with shady booking. I think they are going to try to save face for a weak show by putting 3 loved faces against each other. I’m expecting a swerve and Samoa Joe to win the belt here going into the NYC tapings since New York fans adore him.

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Samoa Joe wins.

Tim:

I don’t really care for anything outside of the idea of Samoa Joe winning the belt. I’d like to see (or at least hear about) him having a good run with the TNA title in 2014.

Interest Level: 3-ish/10
Prediction: Samoa Joe wins.

Tom:

THAT’S YOUR MVP OUT OF THE MAIN EVENT THEN. My guess is Eric Young will end up facing Kenny King and Lashley, only to OVERCOME THE ODDS LIKE ANOTHER BEARDED GRAPPLER and prove once and for all that TNA is completely devoid of any original ideas.

Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: Eric Young wins.