This Or That (6/5/2015)

Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

More likely to win his title shot at Elimination Chamber? (We thought the United States title was on the line. Sorry!)

Kevin Owens – 68%, Dean Ambrose – 32%

Who will make you cringe more on Tough Enough?

Chris Jericho – 54%, Hulk Hogan – 46%

Better wrestler?

Sheamus – 68%, Wade Barrett – 32%

If forced to watch one, which would you choose?

Ted 2 – 53%, Entourage The Movie – 47%

Which is more likely at Wrestlemania 32: Steve Austin vs. Brock Lesnar or Undertaker vs. Sting?

Dream matches.

Tim:

There was a lot of convincing stuff going on with the Austin/Lesnar thing. Austin looked like he was in good shape and he went really hard into character. They switched to kayfabe (yeah, I said it) so well. Then there were actual WWE roster members tweeting about wanting that match which seems suspicious to me. I don’t know if they’d tease something that big if there wasn’t at least a good chance that it would happen. It seemed like Austin was definitely prepared for that interaction. I would love to see this even though there are a good five to six wrestlers I’d rather see these two guys wrestle instead.

Sting’s first and maybe final match in WWE was pretty sad in retrospect despite the ridiculous, nonsensical, in-the-moment nostalgia-riddled mayhem it brought us. I know he’s said he would come back for an Undertaker match. Neither of them can go like they once could. It would probably be a bad match unless you fill it full of theatrics and, well… WWE would actually have to figure out how to portray the Sting character. It would probably be Undertaker’s retirement match. They’d almost for sure put him over Sting even though it would most likely be Sting’s retirement match too. No way they’d focus on a double-retirement with an ex-WCW guy like Sting properly. I really don’t think this will happen even though I think the build-up COULD and SHOULD be really neat. I wouldn’t mind it.

Match ends. Lights go out and come back on and the urn and a baseball bat sit in the ring. Crows are flying haphazardly around the audience. The monks come down and sing a song a capella (Rolling In The Deep?) while Fred Durst (with Lex Luger in a side cart) ride a motorcycle around ringside waving the American flag.

Steve Austin vs Brock Lesnar

Joey:

There’s no way Steve Austin would have went as deep into character mode as he did during his podcast interview with Paul Heyman if there wasn’t some thought being given to returning at Wrestlemania. I think that means there’s a chance of it happening at least. On the other side, I think Wrestlemania 32 will be Undertaker’s last match ever and I can’t see any situation where Sting is his final opponent.

Steve Austin vs. Brock Lesnar

Tom:

Austin definitely looked in better shape on his most recent Network podcast with Heyman, and more in “Stone Cold mode”, as opposed to “boisterous dad mode”. The promo he cut on old Paul E. at the end was fairly sensational stuff, so even though I really can’t imagine the match being much of anything, I think the build-up to it would be great fun and worth watching. However, Austin also seems like a guy that’s very conscious of his limitations and wellbeing, which makes it hard to imagine he’d be willing to risk both his legacy and his health with a match with Brock.

Undertaker / Sting seems… I mean, if Sting’s going to do another WWE match, that’d be the one. Yeah, Sting might not be able to give ‘Taker a great final match, but I don’t think anyone could at this stage. At the very least, The Steveman could guarantee Undertaker something safe and easy, as he proved with that surprisingly fun bout he had with Hogan a few years back. Let the two old man have their 10 minute entrances and posturing and then send them off home to count their money before someone breaks a hip, for fuck’s sake.

Undertaker vs. Sting

More likely to win the WWE Championship in 2015: Dean Ambrose or Kevin Owens?

Last week’s question done right!

Tim:

Kevin Owens is all of the rage right now. I haven’t had this much hope for a new main roster member in a long time. They are booking him really strong, which is great. He’s an incredible talent. I doubt either of them get ahold of that title this year but while Dean Ambrose may be closely related to the title picture at this point I really don’t see them giving him the honor any time soon. Owens seems destined for success. That might seem like a premature statement since he’s so early on in his WWE career but they really let him make a big splash with his main roster debut. It’s been a surreal month or two when it comes to him. With the momentum he has and their track record with booking Dean Ambrose I don’t think it’s crazy to say he will get to the title before Ambrose. I can already see the griping when he doesn’t win The Royal Rumble…

Kevin Owens

Joey:

Seeing Kevin Owens defeat John Cena was surreal. Obviously, the list of men to pin John Cena clean is very short and all men have had Hall of Fame careers. This means Owens is being given an amazing opportunity and he always delivers. The fast track debut on the main roster can lead Owens into the title picture by the end of the year as he’s already the second most important heel wrestler in WWE’s stories. As for Dean Ambrose, the chances of him winning the title at MITB and Roman Reigns cashing in on him is my only fear in choosing. Otherwise, I just can’t see it happening. Owens has already passed him by.

Kevin Owens

Tom:

That’d be a HELL of a 2015 for Big Kev, though it’s hard to argue that he’s not on track already – really, after you beat Cena clean, where else do you go? How do you follow that up? I really hope he keeps the momentum he has for the rest of the year. Winning the title is maybe a bit of a stretch, but it still wouldn’t shock me – even if it doesn’t happen this year, I’m sure great things await.

Dean Ambrose leaves me incredibly cold right now. I think he’s capable of greatness but his character right now is just so uninteresting and unbelievable to me. I think a heel turn would do wonders for him, but there’s such a drought of decent top level faces that I can’t imagine that’ll happen anytime soon. As a result, I really can’t picture a title win in his immediate future. Even that moment of him “winning” it at Elimination Chamber just didn’t look right. Soz Dean mate, I’m sure I’ll be into you again eventually.

Kevin Owens

Who would you rather see in NXT: Rockstar Spud or Austin Aries?

IF WWE were to sign a TNA star to NXT…

Tim:

Can they just sign Gail Kim back instead? Eh, Aries needs some freshening up. I don’t care for him too much but he can be very entertaining and is a great wrestler. I think NXT could do great things with him. I also enjoyed Spud for a month or two but his act really grew stale for me really fast. I don’t care too much for him nowadays and don’t see what WWE would gain from having him. You know what? NXT should really start signing people who could help develop a tag team division. Big Roddy Strong and Aries would be nice. Grab Gargano and Taylor. Bring back Kendrick and London. LET’S HAVE SOME TAG TEAM FUN.

Austin Aries

Joey:

This is definitely personal as he’s talented but I have zero interest in watching Austin Aries perform on a show I’d consistently watch so no thanks. Hopefully he re-signs with TNA. Rockstar Spud has a more charming personality, is easier to get behind and can bring it in the ring when a big match performance is needed. Spud also has yet to peak in wrestling and has more to prove. Give me the Brit over the brat.

Rockstar Spud

Tom:

Weirdly, Aries has fallen into a similar category as Ambrose for me right now – both are very good wrestlers whose characters don’t do anything for me right now. The difference between them is I’m sure Ambrose can pull it back and get me invested in him again, whereas I can’t imagine the same for Aries. There’s enough likeable, talented guys in wrestling now where it’s not necessary to make excuses for the jerks like ol’ A-Double.

Spud is an absolute sweetheart and would be a great fit for NXT. I would be EXTREMELY into him being the British counterpoint to Enzo and forming a similar stable of top-class lads representing a different region of the UK.

Rockstar Spud

Superior pizza: Chicago (deep dish) or New York (long flat slices)?

Pizza.

Tim: New York style pizza is just a boring mess. Get over it. Chicago style pizza is truly something special. You eat a NY style pizza and you’re just like “eh, okay that happened” or “alright, time to get on with my life.” You bite into a Chicago style pizza and your mouth froths with delight at all of the delicious fun going on. Don’t be boring. I like with my dishes deep (Rolling in the deep?).

    Chicago

Joey:

As a lifelong New Yorker, I have to concede this and admit Chicago pizza is indeed superior. Consistently, NY pizza is better but in terms of being superior, the best Chicago pizza is unbeatable. The greatest meal I’ve ever had in my life was at a small local pizza restaurant in Illinois. It breaks my heart that I can’t ever recreate the meal. New York pizza is safer but Chicago pizza is the best in the world. (Unlike other Chicago entities!)

Chicago

Tom:

We could have the boring conversation that “oh, well, Chicago style isn’t even really pizza” but look, forget that, let’s just get on with things.

The range in quality of the NY style pizza I’ve had is huge – it’s been incredible at its best and inedible at its worst. Contrarily, I’ve only had “real” Chicago style a few times, but it’s been consistently good every time. However, if you were to pin me down and say I could only eat one for the rest of my life, it’d be NY style. It’s just more versatile! You can eat it on the go, you can just have the one slice for a quick snack or a WHOLE FUCKING PIE TO YOURSELF if you want to feel disgusting. Chicago style seems more like an event and like it has to be a sit-down thing every time you have it. I’m a dynamic young professional who’s always on the go, I don’t have time for that!

Also: FUCK CM PUNK YEH BASTARD.

New York