This Or That (12/9/2014)

Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

Who do you side with?

CM Punk – 92%, Triple H– 8%

Who do you side with?

CM Punk – 61%, Ryback – 39%

Who do you side with?

CM Punk – 80%, Chris Jericho – 20%

Which would you rather?

Wrestle a match with Ryback – 60%, Let CM Punk punch you in the fucking throat – 40%

More likely: CM Punk wins a UFC championship belt or Batista wins an Oscar?

Which new career is more likely to reach an unthinkable success?

Tim:

I think Batista has pretty good potential as an actor. I like him in movies way more than I have ever liked him as a wrestler but I am not so confident in anyone ever casting him in a role that could lead to an Oscar for him. I think he could possibly pull off a good enough performance if given the chance though.

CM Punk is a determined individual. I think his pride and determination could very well lead him to doing better in UFC than most people think… or end in him being super bitter and grumpy about the whole experience. So, I guess I’m going with CM Punk here but really WHO KNOWS?

CM Punk winning a UFC Championship

Joey:

I don’t think Batista will ever get a serious role in a depressing film. Only serious movies with depressing themes win Oscars. Batista will just get fun characters in high budgeted Summer flicks.

Dana White loves CM Punk. Plus I’m sure Paul Heyman can manipulate the system where they introduce UFC Tag Team Titles which Brock Lesnar and Phil Brooks will hold forever. In all seriousness, I can see CM Punk finding a weird route to a title while the Academy will never stop snobbing out Big Dave.

CM Punk winning a UFC Championship

Tom:

As much confidence as I have in “Big” Dave “Batista” Bautista’s acting abilities, Hollywood is NOT ready for him. They can only handle one wrestling superstar at the top of  their system at once and they’ve gone with ol’ Dwayne Johnson this generation. Yes, they fucked up.

Meanwhile, UFC is a total fucking work for confirmed jabronie marks without a life so I’m sure they’ll let Phil “The Punker” Brooks win one of their bullshit belts.

CM Punk winning a UFC Championship

Better Slammy moment: Owen Hart steals a Slammy or Vince McMahon performs Stand Back?

Better legendary Slammy moment – Owen stealing or Vince dancing?

Tim:

The fact that Vince McMahon did that is still hilarious. To this day, when I think about The Slammys I immediately think of Owen Hart before I think of anything else related to them. I bet people who didn’t watch wrestling during that storyline do the same but that tops McMahon’s routine for me. Owen Hart became synonymous with The Slammys for me.

Owen Hart Steals a Slammy

Joey:

I think this is an age generalizing question where someone who grew up with 90’s wrestling has to pick Owen Hart. Seeing Owen walk around with the stolen Slammy and calling himself a two-time Slammy Award winner warms my heart and reminds me of how entertaining he was. Vince dancing is funny but I can see him make an ass of himself almost any time he talks. The Owen Hart moment is what I think of first when I hear the term Slammy Awards.

Owen Hart steals a Slammy

Tom:

Owen’s deal with the Slammys was the best but Vince McMahon’s performance is an astonishing insight into the man’s psyche. Like, he wasn’t playing the Mr. McMahon character back then, you know? He just decided that he wanted to have a fake awards show that featured a performance of him singing and dancing with sexy ladies while Hulk Hogan pretended to play saxophone. It’s a testament to the kind of man he is and what the Slammys are really all about: a 69 year old man getting his rocks off live on national television.

Vince McMahon performs Stand Back

Which feud bores you more: Kane vs. Ryback or Big Show vs. Erick Rowan?

Stop the pain.

Tim:

They’re both so bland and manufactured that I have trouble picking. Kane and Big Show only annoy me. Ryback is hard to watch. This Erick Rowan push thing that’s happening is so odd. He’s a face and it just seems like the weirdest decision but in a way that makes it more interesting than Ryback vs Kane who are both just bad news.

Kane vs. Ryback

Joey:

They are both so bad and I keep confusing the two. Heel Big Show and heel Kane are impossible to tell apart. I think Kane vs. Ryback bores me more. At least Erick Rowan is new and has a different feel to him with a somewhat likeable character so you have some sort of a selling point.

Unless Kane is beating up Adam Rose, I have no interest in him. Unless Ryback is being imitated in voice form by CM Punk, I have less than no interest in him. Big Show is somehow worse than the two but Rowan’s silly music, sheep mask and standing up to bullies will win out. Hit the bricks, Kane and Ryback.

Kane vs. Ryback

Tom:

FUCK KANE! FUCK OFF! NO! Erick Rowan as a singles star is such a weird proposition that I kind of enjoy it, even if his matches with Big Show are sure to be absolutely dreadful.

Kane vs. Ryback

Do you enjoy snow: Yes or No?

Do we still like snow?

Tim:

I can not fucking stand snow. I don’t give a damn how “pretty” it looks. I can NOT stand cold weather and I can not stand being trapped in my house by mounds of freezing white powder covering the roads. It’s ridiculous to think anyone would like snow but those people ARE out there and they will argue against my completely correct opinion but I will not back down.

Where I live we don’t even have snow that often but instead everything turns to ice and for some reason NO ONE is ever prepared for it. Snow is so rare here that it is celebrated and people act like they don’t remember how the hell it always goes down when it appears. Give me summer instead. Oh yeah, and those snow men you like to make so much? They’re fucking ugly. You’re just getting your clothes wet and possibly ruining a carrot.

“They say there’s a 70% chance of snow Thursday!” THE FUCK ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT? Yeah, I can’t wait to have to wear 8,000 layers of clothes and hope for the best. Snow sucks and I fully believe we are completely backwards when it comes to our ideas on what element dominates Hell. Fuck snow and fuck people who like it. I have things to do and I want to be warm. Get out of here with pro-snow rhetoric. I’ll take my life warm, please.

No

Joey:

Fuck snow! As an adult, having to walk in dirty and slippery snow in New York city is a pain. I love rain. I don’t mind dealing with the cold. But all the snow and ice that comes with the Winter can suck it. The only adults who like still like snow either have kids or live in a setting where they don’t have to deal with it more than a light dusting.

No

Tom:

I used to be a fan of snow before I moved to New York. Now, I completely dread it. Last winter was an absolute misery-fest and the streets got dominated by big gross drifts of stinky city snow. I don’t need that in my life. Not again. Forget it, I’m moving to Florida.

No