Superhero Survivor Series: Introduction and Round One

    • Superhero Survivor Series: Introduction and Round One

      We’re bored of wrestling so we came up with a new feature to let us go on about superheroes and comics instead. Welcome to Superhero Survivor Series!

      Each of our panel members was tasked with drafting their dream team of superheroes for a classic 5-on-5 Survivor Series match.

      Making their picks in the following order will be:

      The rules are as follows:

      • Everyone picks five superheroes with one pick at a time in the assigned draft order: Brad, Joey, Tim, Nightlife, Tom.
      • A superhero is loosely defined as a character that wears a costume or has some kind of superhero name or secret identity and fights crime or injustice to some degree. Anti-heroes or reformed villains are allowed.
      • Just because a character appears in comics, that doesn’t mean they’re a superhero (for example, Judge Dredd isn’t allowed).
      • Everyone likes Marvel best, but there’s a limit of three Marvel characters.
      • Superhero parodies (e.g. The Tick) and superhero characters that originate from media other than comics (e.g. The Greatest American Hero) are allowed.
      • If you’re choosing a version of the character other than the ‘classic’ comics version, please specify (for example, if you want to specifically choose Spider-man 2099 rather than Spider-man).
      • All characters must be picked as individuals rather than teams (so you can’t just pick ‘The X-Men’ or ‘The Avengers’).

      So now we’ve got that out the way, let’s see who the first round picks are!

      Superhero Survivor Series: Round One

      Brad’s pick: ARROW


      I was never an absolutely huge Arrow fan, but after I started watching The CW show I definitely became one. I like Arrow because he brings a lot of the advantages Batman has, but feel his combat skills are even better than Batman.

      Arrow has a very solid ranged skill set with a variety of arrows to not only subdue but kill his adversary. I also feel that Arrow’s willingness to kill, even if he rarely does it, is an asset.

      Joey’s pick: THE INCREDIBLE HULK


      I am in awe of Brad’s first pick but I am glad he slighted Batman in his explanation. I also picked someone who would kick Batman’s ass with ease. Luckily Brad left me with The Incredible Hulk to become the first member of my team. It’s self explanatory really. The Hulk is the strongest and the most unbeatable force so my jabroni opponents have no chance to top me!

      As long as The Incredible Hulk is angry, no one can pose a threat. My strategy is to show him Miz matches before game time so he’s in rare form ready to SMASH all these hambones, ESPECIALLY Arrow.

      Tim’s pick: CAPTAIN AMERICA


      I decided my first pick would need to be someone who could lead a group. After a lot of deliberation I came to the conclusion that Captain America would fit the bill. I also decided to cater to the people who are really into anything to do with America.

      I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also pick him because he has useless wings on his mask too. Those are cute. Captain America showing solidarity with birds and angels. Huge props.

      Nightife’s pick: GUY GARDNER (RED LANTERN)


      It’s no secret that I’ve always been a big fan of Guy Gardner, except during his confused “Warrior” phase in the 1990s. Guy as a Red Lantern is just so good, it’d be crazy not to have him on my team.

      Not only has Guy exhibited excellent leadership abilities ever since donning the red ring, but his power level has increased significantly too, fueled exclusively by hate. As a fan of not only wrestling and comic books, but also video games, I know the true power of rage.

      Tom’s pick: ANIMAL MAN


      Animal Man? Who’s Animal Man? That’s a question all the jabronie MARKS will be asking right now, so allow me to answer them: he’s the perfect superhero for the Reality Era.

      While his ability to steal the power of any nearby animal is okay, what really makes him unique is that he’s one of the only characters to be aware that he’s in a comic book. Here’s the moment where he has this realisation (while on a peyote-fuelled vision quest) – notice how he breaks the fourth wall to address the reader like a certain Phil ‘The Punker’ Brooks might do:

      Think about this for a second. He’s a comic book character that knows it’s all just a story. That’s like a wrestler who realises it’s all a work – while everyone else is jumping around and posturing, good brother Animal Man can dodge all attacks by just stepping out of the panel while winking at the reader and yelling ‘IT’S FAAAAAAAKE, ASSHOLES!’.

      Basically, his self-awareness makes him not only the most powerful superhero but also the #REALEST, and you KNOW that’s a shoot.

      – If you want to hurl abuse at our draft pickers, you can find them on Twitter at @BradFGN, @JoeySplashwater, @TimWelcomed, @AnimeKing420 and @TomBlargh. Please don’t though, they’re trying their best. Check back Wednesday for the 2nd round!


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