We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.
News for The Week of December 8, 2014
WWE
Vince McMahon was so impressed with Grumpy Cat’s performance a few weeks back that he has offered the cat a contract to be the next GM of Raw.
Jack Swagger continues write himself into Raw scripts with a black crayon without anyone noticing.
Adam Rose has requested to be sent back to NXT as soon as possible.
(Ad funds are very low. We’ve got to get that paywall up.)
CM Punk
CM Punk can’t figure out what hair style he wants to sport for his first UFC fight. He’s currently leaning towards “the almost bald one.”
CM Punk is considering fighting The Green Power Ranger in his first MMA fight because “it’s a step up from feuding with Curtis Axel and Ryback.”
Colt Cabana is hiring Nate Glass to take down a Chicago hospital for putting the name “Phil Brooks” on CM Punk‘s birth certificate.
Other
Jim Ross has no idea who his commentary partner will be for Wrestle Kingdom but he intends to ask them why ROH wrestlers don’t slow down or fix the dang lights.
Despite popular belief, AIW and AAW are completely different promotions. We swear.
