Wrestlemania is here. We think.
Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @JoeySplashwater, @TimWelcomed, @IndianDeathlock and @TomBlargh.
Cesaro and Tyson Kidd vs. The Usos vs. The New Day vs. Los Matadores for the WWE Tag Team Championship on the pre-show
Joey:
Cesaro and utility player wrestler with manager vs. The Usos vs. Los Matadores returning to PPV after being non-existent for months vs. a team you won’t remember in a year from now on the pre-show for the tag team titles. Shades of last year. Except less hope for Cesaro. The match should be fine if the Usos are healthy.
Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: Cesaro and Tyson Kidd win.
Tim:
Oh damn. It’s time for The T Man to dish out some very self-indulgent hot takes! This should be a good match but it will feel hollow as most WWE tag team matches do. The typical stuff. It’ll be solid. It’ll have some spots we’ve seen a million times before. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd would be a great tag team if being a tag team meant anything in WWE besides “filler.” The Usos are fantastic but we’ve seen them wrestle every combination of these teams so many times. Los Matadores have a horrible gimmick and haven’t really done much lately. I feel awful for The New Day. This is the most pre-show pre-show match you could imagine for Wrestlemania. I think Cesaro and Kidd win here. I’m sure they’ll eventually bring prestige to these belts once and for all if they hold them long enough!
Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Cesaro and Tyson Kidd win.
Deathlock:
This will be fun and get us jazzed for the show. It’ll be fine!
Interest Level: 6/10 Strong Style Interest Points™
Prediction: CATS, FACTS, AND MINORU SUZUKI COSPLAY FOR THE WIN.
Tom:
It’ll be good, y’know? Y’KNOW? Yeah, you know.
Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Cesaro and Tyson Kidd win.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal on the pre-show
Joey:
Does anyone in the world care about this? Noteworthy predictions: Curtis Axel will be eliminated first. Big Show and Kane will double eliminate each other. Sandow will eliminate Miz. Sheamus returns and wins.
Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: Sheamus wins.
Tim:
A ring full of dorks, Sandow, and an NXT guy. GOOD STUFF. Showcase of The Immortals and all of that jazz, ya know? Best case scenario, it ends up with just Sandow and Miz left in the ring leading to Sandow throwing Miz out. Most probable scenario, Sheamus returns and wins.
Interest Level: 3/10
Prediction: Sheamus wins.
Deathlock:
Hi, I dunno who’s in this match at all. Is this the part where I tell you that If I ran the WWE, Damien Sandow would be on a record-breaking title run right now?
Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Damien Sandow?
Tom:
If they have Sheamus return to win a pre-show battle royal then el oh fucking el, welcome to the Reality Era, fella. I look forward to seeing how the enormous trophy is destroyed.
Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: Mizdow wins.
AJ Lee and Paige vs. The Bella Twins
Joey:
The four noteworthy divas in the company will have a chance this year. This is probably the best divas match option they could have went with to be honest. I think it will be one of the better matches on the show – not sure if that says more about this match or the full card.
Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: AJ and Paige wins.
Tim:
I still believe AJ is the best female wrestler in WWE. Paige is wonderful but I still don’t think she’s close to hitting her stride on the main roster and that’s not entirely her fault. Nikki Bella has grown a lot as a personality and a wrestler but I still don’t think she is that wonderful. Brie Bella is Brie Bella. I’ve seen potential in her a lot here and there but it’s a one step forward, two steps back kind of thing with her. Popularity-wise this is definitely the four WWE should showcase at the biggest show of the year. Will it be the best divas match WWE could put on? No way. There’s definitely a chance these four could do something entertaining though.
Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: AJ and Paige win.
Deathlock:
Thirty seconds, probably humiliating. It might even just get cut from the show so Triple H’s entrance can go longer.
Interest Level: -10/10 regular points, 10/10 Strong Style Interest Points™ for Nikki Bella’s elbow.
Prediction: We all lose.
Tom:
“Fearless” Nicole Bella is here to show all you candyasses that girls are doing it for themselves! Holla at your girl! I don’t know, I’m sick of seeing all of these girls compete in various different combinations. It’s all we’ve seen in PPV Divas matches for the last year and I want some variety.
Interest Level: 3/10
Prediction: April Jeanette “Ape” Lee-Mendez-Punker-Brooks and Paige win.