We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

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News for The Week of August 25, 2014

WWE

• Hulk Hogan is still training for one final match. Last week numerous reports came in that he was spotted jogging along a beach in Florida chanting “I still got it” and simulating fake crowd noise by cupping his mouth and making a “caaaaahhh” sound.

• The loser of the Jack Swagger vs. Bo Dallas feud will literally be buried in a doghouse.

• Vince McMahon is down on Adam Rose because he thought he was doing a “really bad Willy Wonka impression.” Creative was extremely baffled by this but ultimately decided it would be best to agree with him.

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TNA

• TNA has received an offer from Velocity to air Impact Wrestling. We can confirm that if TNA accepts the deal it will be a shot at Jeff Jarrett and his failed All Wheels Wrestling pilot.

• The Bro Mans are going to social media to find new dates*. (*Calendar dates to wrestle on because TNA only runs 3 shows per month.)

• We weren’t able to get full confirmation so take this as just a rumor for now but Vince Russo may still be working for TNA. If true, TNA management is now treating it as a “double secret” with a lot of mandated pinky promises involved.

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Other

• Michael Elgin wants to be celebrated as the first wrestler to hold a vertical suplex longer than he can fan support.

• Semi-Famous Person made a generic wrestling reference.

• Lance Storm accidentally emailed us that he is working as a secret consultant for Chikara.