• Tag Archives: Prince Devitt

    This Or That (5/20/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    More likely to be the next WWE champ?

    The field – 56%, John Cena – 44%

    Who will step up more in Daniel Bryan’s absence?

    Cody Rhodes – 65%, Dolph Ziggler – 35%

    More valuable free agent?

    Prince Devitt – 69%, Bad Influence – 31%

    Better small meal?

    Sandwiches – 58%, Soup – 42%

    If his estimated in ring return date is Summerslam, should Daniel Bryan be stripped of the WWE title: YES or NO?

    Should he?



    I think if this ends up being the case they could easily go the interim champion route or just set it up so that when he comes back he can say he is the real WWE World Heavyweight Champion. That would only be three PPVs without him. It would be a great way for him to return and it would be an easy PPV match set-up.



    With the WWE Network, you are basically punting on a large number of traditional PPV buys so the emphasis on Payback and Money In The Bank to be amazing are not as great as many would think. From a storyline point of view, you can have Kane run Bryan off next week and steal the titles, going around proclaiming himself champion despite Bryan being the recognized title holder. Summerslam, we see the blow off to the feud and Bryan never “loses” the championship.



    Bryan holding onto the championship while he can’t defend it won’t do him any favours. It sucks that it has to happen, but nothing would be dumber than having a ‘fighting champion’ who can’t fight. Interim champions are the dirt worst, so none of that, please.

    I’ll admit that seeing him just hand over the belt to Stephanie or whoever will be a bummer, but fuck it, he can do it in a way that still makes him seem defiant and firey. Like, he can throw it in a river or something, that usually works.

    Anyway, rather than messing around with two belts or an interim champ, I think just taking it off him with the guarantee he’ll get a title match once he’s back is the best way option. Ideally, we’ll get a fun tournament to decide the new champ and then a great Bryan return at Summerslam to reset things.


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    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Pull out your wallets because it is time to shill and name your Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    This week’s edition of Sexy Wrestler of The Week coincides with the launch of my new funny wrestling t-shirt line “Pay Window Tees,” so I decided to do a cross-promotional shirt for this gigantic occasion! You can expect EPIC LOLZ and a lot of people at wrestling shows pointing at your shirt and saying “I get it.”  Be prepared for witty wordplay and your shirt arriving in the mail just a few months late smelling like weed.

    I’ve counted your votes and created a shirt based off the winner, so without further ado…


    There he is, your Sexy Wrestler of The Week once again, Prince Devitt. This was enough to strike me with the inspiration to create my first shirt for my new t-shirt company, Pay Window Tees: “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Devitt.”

    The joke is that there is a singer named Prince who changed his name to a symbol and went by “The Artist Formerly Knoown As Prince” for a little while so I just added “Devitt” to the end and added a font so that you could easily associate the two things coming together for one HUGE funny moment.

    For those worried about me using the rights to Prince Devitt’s name and personal brand for profit, do not fret because this shirt was approved by his mother’s cousin’s aerobics instructor’s daughter’s boyfriend so it’s is 100% okay with his family. He even said I could keep all of the money!

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Today we name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. Rejoice.

    Here we are again. I’ve counted up all of your votes and I think you know what that means. In my hand, in an envelope, I have the name of the person you’ve chosen to be The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. That really does you no good so instead I ill just type it out and throw away this envelope. No one uses envelopes anymore, anyway. We use e-envelopes for our e-mails now.

    So, without further ado…


    Prince Devitt is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week again! Will anyone end his streak or is he destined to dominate 2014 like Adam Cole dominated 2013? It’s up to you!

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Yes. It is time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. I see you smiling.

    Welcome back, folks. I have been counting those votes and I am loving the turn out. We had over 12,000,000 voters last week! I’d like to say how beautiful it is to see so many people coming together to vote on something so important.

    Since you are all clamoring to know, let’s just cut to the chase.

    Without further ado…


    Prince Devitt is once again your Sexy Wrestler of The Week. I have lost count of how many weeks he’s won this year but it’s very clear that he has won the most. Keep on voting every week!

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    For years you wondered when it would happen. “When will peace prevail?” “When will humans accept Giraffes as a species worthy of respect?” Today, the world unites as we name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week.

    Today, in conjunction with the nonprofit group Giraffes Are Really Tall Huh? (GARTH?), we name our Sexy Wrestler of The Week  in solidarity with one of natures most underrated treasures: The Giraffe. The time is now to spread awareness of the ignorant hate Giraffes are forced to deal with at the hands of humans.

    How many times have you made fun of someone with a slightly-longer-than-average neck by calling them a “giraffe?” How many times have you seen tacky clothes that just so happen to be decorated with giraffe print? How many times have you seen a giraffe allowed to drive a car?


    No longer should we stand for this. Today I am proud and humbled to announce that we make that first bold step towards acceptance. As the first noble move in a long series of rightfully over-dramatic moves to open the flood gates of unrelenting respect towards Giraffes, I will copy and paste this week’s winner’s head onto a picture of a Giraffe. We will bask in the glory of the monumental help we are lending to the Giraffe movement here today.

    Now without further ado…


    There you have it. Our Sexy Wrestler of The Week is none other than Prince Devitt. His streak continues as we begin a streak of love and acceptance towards The Giraffe Community with this unpresidented attempt at changing the world. Did I mention how awesome we are for doing this?! You’re welcome, Giraffes!

    Click Here To Donate Money To Help With The Movement

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Grab a bottle of water and fix yourself a food. It’s time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    Hello, all. I have counted your votes yet again. I do this every week with my eyes, my brain, and sometimes I even have to draw tally marks on my wall using my hand after being haphazardly dipped into a bucket of paint. It looks like a damn crime scene in here but I do it for you. I haven’t seen the outside in days. I am just hoping Obamacare works out.

    With that being said, I am ready to tell you who had the most votes.


    After a week of not winning due to you guys being in full CM Punk fan mode (and definitely not us looking for lots’a hits) We are proud to announce that Prince Devitt is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week once again! Enjoy the celebration.

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Hello again. I hope you have your eyeballs ready because it’s time for The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    This week’s Sexy Wrestler of The Week might be a little bit controversial due to timing. We did have an upset and a new winner. Prince Devitt came in second. Adam Cole came in third. It was all very close.

    I don’t have my “Sexy Vote Counting Spreadsheet” (SVCS as we call it in the biz) because all of my files were lost this morning (as was my main computer) due to an intern with a clumsy hand. Once I reveal the winner I will give the vote count from what I can remember off the top of my head to prove that we did not do this to capitalize on any recent news for clicks.

    Now, without any more hesitation…


    There you have it. CM Punk is your new Sexy Wrestler of The Week. This is his first time to be crowned with such a prestigious award and it was all thanks to you, the voters. I promise.

    Here are how the votes checked out (from what I can remember):

    CM Punk: 312,931,121,920 votes.

    Prince Devitt: 312,931,121,918 votes.

    Adam Cole: 312,931,121,915 votes.

    So as you can see, this was totally legit just as it is every week and was not faked in order to exploit a popular news item for page views. Have a great week!

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Hello. You are about to find out who The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is. Get excited.

    Every week, people say “I can’t vote because I do not know what sexy is.” Well let me clear that up for you. You get your eyeballs and point them at someone. If you think “oh, they are pleasant to look at and have me feeling all lusty inside” then they are sexy to you. Just remember that lust is a sin and you’re going to Hell.

    Now let’s take a look at who you voted for.


    There you have it. Prince Devitt continues his run as your Sexy Wrestler of The Week. Adam Cole was close but did not manage to tie him this week. Please return next week as we will be doing this again for you and only you. We do not self-indulge.

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Lights! Camera! Action! Those three things were definitely not needed because it’s time for us to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    Welcome back to another edition of Sexy Wrestler of The Week where we name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. You vote and then we do the hard work of counting said votes and then we tell you what the results are. That is how this works.

    Without further ado…


    This was a historical week. We had our first ever tie. Last week’s winner Prince Devitt retained his spot but Sexy Wrestler of The Year ’13, Adam Cole, met him atop the mountain of votes for his first win of 2014. So, in summary: Your first ever Sexy Wrestlers of The Week are Adam Cole and Prince Devitt.

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    It’s 2014. Let’s start a fresh year right by naming your Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    I hope you all have had a great first eight days of this magnificent year known as 2014. With us naming the Sexy Wrestler of The Year for 2013, it is time to begin anew. So let’s just do it.

    You voted. We listened. You know how this goes.

    Prince Devitt at Wrestle Kingdom 8

    Prince Devitt at Wrestle Kingdom 8

    I am trying to make “wrestlerof” a thing this year but it isn’t working and is kind of stupid. Anyway…There it is. The first Sexy Wrestler of The Week for 2014 is… Prince Devitt. Maybe you all decided it was time to shake things up by not voting Adam Cole? We’ll see how you feel next week when we return!