• Tag Archives: kane

    This Or That (9/24/2015)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Which Seth Rollins match are you looking forward to more?

    Sting – 62%, John Cena – 38%

    Who would you rather see Triple H face at Wrestlemania 32?

    Seth Rollins – 67%, The Rock – 33%

    Better WWE signing?

    Rich Swann – 70%, Biff Busick – 30%

    Superior wings?

    Boneless wings – 57%, Bone-in – 43%

    Worst opponent choice for a star wrestler’s match: Big Show facing Brock Lesnar at MSG or Kane facing Seth Rollins at HIAC?

    Big Show and Kane back at it again.

    seth-show

    Tim:

    Both of these  guys can take a hike, buddy! The Kane/Rollins stuff was inevitable and Rollins still has a long career ahead of him  to wrestle much of the roster. I don’t want to see this match but whatever. Way too much of Lesnar’s run has been spent on him wrestling the wrong people and that is a travesty. My main three dream opponents on the roster for him are Owens, Cesaro, and Daniel Bryan. We will probably never ever get any of those. Big Show vs Lesnar has history but even then it was dull. This just sucks.

    Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar at MSG

    Joey:

    Brock Lesnar wrestles so few times that having him face Big Show yet again is incredibly frustrating. When it was announced Lesnar would be wrestling at MSG, I had high hopes for him beating up a prick (Dolph Ziggler), a goof (Bo Dallas) or anyone else new and outside the box. Of course, it’s Big Show because you can’t get into October without him getting a noteworthy match or two. Kane vs. Seth Rollins is annoying as well but at least you knew it was coming and Rollins will wrestle everyone on the roster at some point. Brock won’t.

    Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar at MSG

    Tom:

    I am entirely onboard with Kane stealing the Joseph Park Esq. gimmick but I don’t particularly want to see him wrestling (unless it’s against Kevin Owens, although that’s a caveat I’d add to almost everyone on the roster right now). Having said that, I’d still MUCH rather see Rollins fight Kane than Ambrose again. Let the Rollins vs. Old Lads tour continue, maybe he’ll break Ric Flair’s nose next month.

    Unless Big Show vs. Brock is just the two of them hurling couches back and forth at each other, I’m not that interested. Give Lesnar a little lad to toss around!!!

    Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar at MSG

    [poll id=”227″]

    Continue reading →

    This Or That (8/6/2015)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Who has had more great matches in WWE?

    Brock Lesnar – 67%, Undertaker – 33%

    More unlikeable on-screen couple?

    Dolph Ziggler and Lana – 88%, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H – 12%

    Which show will be better?

    Ultima Lucha – 76%, NXT TakeOver Brooklyn – 24%

    Which is better?

    Peanut butter – 58%, Jelly – 42%

    Who needs a win more at Summerslam: Brock Lesnar or Seth Rollins?

    Summerslam.

    brock-seth

    Tim:

    I’d prefer both of these people win their matches at Summerslam but Seth Rollins can take the loss and eventually bounce back. His character needs to evolve some anyway. Being the dominant beast who beat the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak is such a huge part of Lesnar’s character that that having The Undertaker get his win back from Brock Lesnar would be such a huge goof-up.

    I always thought the big conclusion to Lesnar’s WWE run would be a young star making his name by being the one who brought down the man who broke the streak and ran roughshod over everyone he faced afterwards. Wasting this potential moment on The Undertaker seems nearsighted and dull. The Undertaker doesn’t need the win and the match won’t be anything to talk about. You’re killing the very special momentum of one of your biggest attractions for nothing.

    Brock Lesnar

    Joey:

    While it would be damaging to Seth Rollins if he loses multiple times to John Cena and has his title reign end at Summerslam, I think Brock Lesnar needs the win more. If Rollins loses the match and the title, what really changes for him? Regardless, he will be the #1 heel in the company. If Lesnar loses, part of the magic of his rare appearances will be gone. It started when he defeated Undertaker and it would end if he loses back. Brock is the coolest thing WWE has had in years and you can’t sacrifice ruining that in this scenario.

    Brock Lesnar

    Tom:

    I’d like to play the contrarian here but Brock losing to old man Undertaker would be a colossal bummer. Seth’s run so far has already had a fair amount of nonsense so I don’t think a Cena loss is going to hurt him too badly, though obviously it’d be nice if he retains. However, if Brock loses to your dad… man, that’ll look pretty ridiculous for everyone.

    Brock Lesnar

    [poll id=”211″]

    Continue reading →

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Let’s drink an Old Fashioned and name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    Okay, people. It is that time again. The votes have been counted and the winner has been chosen. Like any dignified journalist I strive to have new information to give you every week and have it be interesting. Yeah, naming The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is big enough to stand on its own. After all, it is the biggest award in professional wrestling today. This week is no different. As soon as I found out who the winner was I began digging up dirt and contacting my sources from various industries. What I have found this week will have you saying “WOWZERS!”

    MadMenKane

    First off: BOOM! There it is. The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is none other than “The Devils Favorite Businessman,” Kane. He’s (somehow) no stranger to this prestigious award so I had to dig harder to find out some never-before-known info and I found quite the hidden gem.

    Kane was originally supposed to play a supporting character in the fourth season of the now completed TV show Mad Men. His character (Hank Hinkle) was abruptly edited out in post-production from the first three episodes and was told to never return as it “just wasn’t working out.” When asked about this, Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner said “he was just really boring. Our writing couldn’t even begin to save him plus his stature and sex appeal really took away from Don Draper.” Kane has kept this failure very close to the chest but today we celebrate him.

    The Devil’s #1 Wrestling Detective Agency: Are AIW and AAW the Same Thing??? – Episode 3

    Previously, on The Devil’s #1 Wrestling Detective Agency…

    kanewoe
    Wow, what a miraculous journey this has been! We’ve revolutionized the mini-series genre to the point that WOE is considering turning us into an anthology series! It is just so wunderbar.

    Unfortunately, our show’s administrative costs have gotten out of control. As such, you may not see The Devil’s #1 Wrestling Detective Agency unless you paypal me lots of money straight away. Just paypal me money, and you will almost definitely get more seasons of the show.

     

     

     

    Hour 3(+):

    “AIW – Gauntlet for the Gold 2015″

    Hour #3 kicks off with Josh Alexander (accompanied by Veda Scott) defending his Absolute Championship against Dick Justice. This was such an interesting styles clash, as Alexander wrestles like a late-2000s indie wrestler that takes himself too seriously, whereas Justice looks and works mostly like a parody of 1980s WWF wrestling. While Justice looked poor at times in the mechanics of pro wrestling, he took his beating well. This was essentially a slightly extended, slightly competitive squash match that Alexander (obviously) won. This would not work as a main event of a show, but it is fine when you have a Royal Rumble-style match on top. A fine effort that accomplished what it needed to. (***) (PS: The AIW fans lived down to their reputation in regards to their taunts at Veda Scott. Trash.) (PS #2: @TomBlargh is The Big Dog.)

    Continue reading →

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Life is Hell. Let’s name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week and make it a little better.

    Another week of me wondering why you all vote for the people you do. Another week of me realizing there are a whole lot of people who find a certain wrestler sexy and that maybe I am the odd one.

    Going to go ahead and lay this out here. These are your votes added up. This is on you.

    SWOTWKane

    The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is The Corporate Demon Kane. As I thought this was strange I decided to search the internet to see if this was a thing people really feel about this man. I had a feeling I was being trolled again but I WAS WRONG. Kane being sexy to many people is very much a thing. The first thing I found was this magnificent Youtube video. From the content to the description to the comments we now all know that people very much think Kane is sexy.

    Let me be clear. It’s not just a Youtube video that helps prove this point. People make sensual Kane backgrounds for your computer screens if that is what you need. People love Kane and his looks. That is actually pretty cool. Everyone deserves to be sexy. I will go as far as to say everyone IS sexy. Yes, even you… but mostly me.

    This Or That (12/9/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Who do you side with?

    CM Punk – 92%, Triple H– 8%

    Who do you side with?

    CM Punk – 61%, Ryback – 39%

    Who do you side with?

    CM Punk – 80%, Chris Jericho – 20%

    Which would you rather?

    Wrestle a match with Ryback – 60%, Let CM Punk punch you in the fucking throat – 40%

    More likely: CM Punk wins a UFC championship belt or Batista wins an Oscar?

    Which new career is more likely to reach an unthinkable success?

    CMBatista

    Tim:

    I think Batista has pretty good potential as an actor. I like him in movies way more than I have ever liked him as a wrestler but I am not so confident in anyone ever casting him in a role that could lead to an Oscar for him. I think he could possibly pull off a good enough performance if given the chance though.

    CM Punk is a determined individual. I think his pride and determination could very well lead him to doing better in UFC than most people think… or end in him being super bitter and grumpy about the whole experience. So, I guess I’m going with CM Punk here but really WHO KNOWS?

    CM Punk winning a UFC Championship

    Joey:

    I don’t think Batista will ever get a serious role in a depressing film. Only serious movies with depressing themes win Oscars. Batista will just get fun characters in high budgeted Summer flicks.

    Dana White loves CM Punk. Plus I’m sure Paul Heyman can manipulate the system where they introduce UFC Tag Team Titles which Brock Lesnar and Phil Brooks will hold forever. In all seriousness, I can see CM Punk finding a weird route to a title while the Academy will never stop snobbing out Big Dave.

    CM Punk winning a UFC Championship

    Tom:

    As much confidence as I have in “Big” Dave “Batista” Bautista’s acting abilities, Hollywood is NOT ready for him. They can only handle one wrestling superstar at the top of  their system at once and they’ve gone with ol’ Dwayne Johnson this generation. Yes, they fucked up.

    Meanwhile, UFC is a total fucking work for confirmed jabronie marks without a life so I’m sure they’ll let Phil “The Punker” Brooks win one of their bullshit belts.

    CM Punk winning a UFC Championship

    [yop_poll id=”121″]

    Continue reading →

    This Or That (9/30/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Who will have more WWE World Heavyweight title reigns in 2015?

    Roman Reigns – 58%, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins COMBINED – 42%

    More likely to be running shows this time next year?

    TNA – 76%, Global Force Wrestling – 24%

    Better feud for Bray Wyatt going forward?

    Dolph Ziggler – 53%, Big Show – 47%

    Better vegetable?

    Broccoli – 59%, Lettuce – 41%

    Who will face Seth Rollins in the Cell: John Cena or Dean Ambrose?

    Rumor has it Cena vs. Ambrose kicks off Hell In A Cell. Winner faces Seth Rollins in the main event inside the cage. Loser would face Randy Orton later on.

    cena-ambrose

    Tim:

    I’d gladly go do other things during another Orton vs Cena match if it meant Ambrose’s momentum stays intact and we get a Ambrose vs Rollins Hell In A Cell match out of it. I mean, with Cena being a stand-up guy and a knowledgeable veteran with some pull he would probably tell WWE management that he needs to lose to Ambrose at this juncture and use his powers to do the right thing for the future. RIGHT??

    Dean Ambrose

    Joey:

    It’s very difficult to imagine Cena going on three PPV’s in a row without a victory, especially coming off the Summerslam demolishing by Brock Lesnar. The booking history dictates that he gets some big wins back but man, Dean Ambrose’s momentum is way too hot to stop.

    It feels like Ambrose is on the precipice of something special and he needs one more really strong performance as a “star making night” to get to the next level. Beating the top guy in the company and then his arch rival who has had his number inside Hell In A Cell would be that. Plus, the rumor of the loser facing Orton would give you the out of Cena destroying Orton. It can and will work out where Dean Ambrose faces Seth Rollins inside that Cell.

    Dean Ambrose

    Tom:

    I want to pick Dean Ambrose, but given that’d likely result in YET ANOTHER Cena/Orton PPV match, I can’t go that direction. It’s too unthinkable.

    John Cena

    [yop_poll id=”81″]

    Continue reading →

    This Or That (6/10/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week’s results:

    If he can’t return until Summerslam, should Daniel Bryan be stripped of the WWE title?

    YES – 62%, NO – 38%

    More exciting rumored NXT signing pair?

    Kevin Steen and Willie Mack – 56%, KENTA and Prince Devitt – 44%

    Who would win in a fight?

    The Avengers – 53%, Godzilla – 47%

    Better panda?

    Red Pandas – 53%, Panda Bears – 47%

    Thanks for breaking our past This Or That record for most poll votes!

    Which Paul Heyman client is more likely to win the WWE Championship this year: Cesaro or Brock Lesnar?

    With Cesaro in Money In The Bank and Brock Lesnar fresh off ending The Streak, who is more likely to become champion this year?

    cesaro-brock

    Tim:

    I don’t think they’ll pull the trigger on Cesaro soon. They have way more to work with, story-wise, with Brock getting the title and having someone beat the man that ended Undertaker’s streak for the title. Maybe that man will be Cesaro? I don’t know. They haven’t really done anything good for anyone that came out of Wrestlemania hot. I do think Lesnar will and should be champion before Cesaro will be.

    Brock Lesnar

    Joey:

    This could go either way but I think it comes down to if WWE is willing to put the title on Brock Lesnar knowing he won’t be a regular active wrestler. I can see him winning it at the Royal Rumble and losing it to John Cena or Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania but I doubt it can happen in 2014. With Bryan injured, it opens a spot and I think Cesaro could be the guy to grab the brass ring. WWE definitely believes in him and it wouldn’t surprise me if he wins it at MITB so I definitely think Cesaro has a better chance of being champ before the year ends.

    Cesaro

    Tom:

    Honestly, even though it’s sure to be brief, I think a Brock title run is the way to go. He’s been kept at arm’s length from it since he’s been back, and now he’s conquered the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak, I can’t think of any other goals left for him.

    Also, it’d be an incredible reintroduction for Bryan if Lesnar was somehow the one holding the title by Summerslam (maybe through being a mystery entrant in the Money in the Bank match?) and they faced each other then. Even if he didn’t get the win, it’d put him firmly back in the main event scene and hopefully banish all memories of the regrettable nonsense with Kane.

    I’d really like to see Cesaro hold the title eventually, but I think that’s still a year or so (and a face turn) away.

    Brock Lesnar

    [yop_poll id=”23″]

    Continue reading →

    Wrestling With Food: Red Velvet Cake a la Kane

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

    kane-600

    It’s been a while since we cracked the ol’ cookbook (well, less than two weeks, but it feels longer) – that’s because we hightailed it out of the frozen tundra of New York and went on down to Orlando for vacation. THAT’S RIGHT. We went to Disney/Universal Studios and YES OF COURSE we went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

    Now, faithful readers of Wrestling With Food, if you were wondering what the beverage equivalent of Mark Henry’s Sexual Chocolate Cake was (or Vis’ No-Bake Cookies, for that matter), wonder no more: it’s BUTTERBEER, or at least whatever the secret ingredient in butterbeer is (possibly concentrated sugar).

    But I digress. I’m not here to talk about the wondrous treats of Hogwarts, I’m here to talk about a recipe from everyone’s favourite Libertarian, in Kane’s Red Velvet Cake. Let’s get it going, shall we?

    The ingredients:

    ingredients

    For the cake:

    1 (10 ¼ ounce) package fudge marble cake mix.

    1 teaspoon baking soda.

    2 eggs.

    1 ½ cups buttermilk.

    1 (1 ounce) bottle red food coloring.

    For the frosting:

    5 tablespoons flour.

    1 cup milk.

    1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened.

    1 cup sugar.

    2 teaspoons vanilla. Continue reading →

    WWE Summerslam 2013 Preview

    WWE’s summer spectacular, Summerslam, will hit great highs or end with a heartbreaking low with one of their better cards in quite some time. On paper, it has all the makings of a great show.

    Giving their thoughs and predictions on what to expect from the biggest show of the summer are members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett.

    WWE_SummerSlam_2013_poster

    Continue reading →