Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: ADVENTURES ON INDY ISLAND.

Making fun of indy merch is a tough proposition. While WWE and TNA should really have the time and money to make a decent job of it (EVEN THOUGH THEY DON’T), you can’t make the same assumptions about indy companies, so it’s only fair to cut them some slack. Also, I have been made aware by a number of hashtags that it is VITALLY IMPORTANT to #SupportIndyWrestling and #FindIndyWrestling and #HonorLives and #WWETonsOfFunk.

SO LOOK: Go to indy shows, pay for indy iPPVs and buy indy shirts (either direct from the wrestlers themselves or from somewhere like prowrestlingtees.com and NO I AM NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS BUT MAYBE THEY’LL SEND ME A FREE YOUNG BUCKS SUPER MARIO PILLOWCASE HINT HINT).

Anyway! Now I’ve covered my back, LET’S GET STARTED.

Barbershop Window

Jesus. If you’re wearing any one of these shirts to a show, there’s a fair chance I’ll be moving seats to be as far away from you as possible.

I’m also assuming that you will:

• Start WHAT-ing during any promo even though it is the year TWO THOUSAND AND THIRTEEN.
• Wear your #HEEL shirt under the hoodie you saw CM Punk wearing on Raw, despite the fact that you’re not entirely sure who this ‘Gracie Jiu Jitsu’ person is.
• Do your best to start a Chris Benoit chant because EDGY!!!!
• Be the proud owner of a luxurious neckbeard.

These might be some unfair assumptions but man, I’m not the one in the #HEEL shirt. Continue reading →