2014)

Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the ~~false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion~~ chance to join the conversation!

Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

Who do you love more?

Sami Zayn – 69%, El Generico – 31%

Would you trust a fruit basket from “the IWC?”

No – 60%, Yes – 40%

Better announcer?

Joey Styles – 59%, Tony Schiavone – 41%

Better Tom?

Tom Hanks – 88%, Tom Cruise – 12%

Better ’80s Christmas movie: A Christmas Story or Christmas Vacation?

Tim:

Probably my top two favorite Christmas movies. I am not much of a holiday person. I don’t get really excited for this time of year or anything but these two movies help me through it. I’m going to say that A Christmas Story is the better of the two. It’s how it has to be and I am fine with my decision so get off of my case, buster.

While I love Christmas Vacation there’s just something about A Christmas Story’s mix of a classic Christmas movie vibe meeting the form of humor it brings. It’s non-stop laughs and with as fast as I grow tired of things, especially movies that get quoted too much, A Christmas Story has yet to get old to me. It’s just good stuff. I don’t think I could watch Christmas Vacation over and over again like I do with it’s competition here.

…Also, Mr. Parker is one of the best character’s in a comedy ever and even makes a great character like Clark Griswold look bad.

A Christmas Story

Joey:

Both are good but neither have that particular Christmas association in my heart like the Home Alone films or Jingle All The Way does. Partly due to age but if I had to pick one, it would be A Christmas Story. Overexposure of the 24 hour marathon every year helps but it’s always worth the watch at least once and feels like part of Christmas due to the routine. I have to be in a specific mood to enjoy Christmas Vacation and most years, it isn’t a part of my Christmas time viewings.

A Christmas Story

Tom:

I am completely disgusted that Scrooged, The Santa Clause, Die Hard and Die Hard 2: Die Harder were not included as options in any of this week’s themed polls. Sure, there are a lot of good Christmas movies but EVEN SO, their exclusion feels like a heavy shot and I just don’t know if they deserve it.

Moving on: IT’S THAT TIME! THAT SPECIAL TIME OF YEAR! HIP HIP HOORAY IT’S A CHRISTMAS VACATION! Christmas Vacation has one of the all-time great opening songs and, even though the film itself has become a template for pretty much every crappy Christmas movie from the past 25 years, it’s still GOOD STUFF and testament to the forgotten truth that Chevy Chase was once pretty funny.

As for A Christmas Story, I can confirm that I’ve not seen it so whatever, back off.

Christmas Vacation

[poll id=”107″]

Continue reading →

The Merch Table: Top 10 Worst Holiday Gifts for Wrestling Fans

Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: TOP 10 WORST HOLIDAY GIFTS FOR WRESTLING FANS.

First things first, this week’s column is inspired by (i.e. shamelessly rips off) Chris Sims’ excellent 10 Worst Holiday Gifts for Comic Book Readers over at Comics Alliance. It’s a very fun read, and it’s a great reminder of how tricky the holiday season can be when you’re known to be a fan of something like comics or wrestling.

Simply put, there’s an awful lot of rubbish out there that well-meaning friends and relatives could gift you because “this is the kind of thing you like, right?” and… well, if I can do anything to stop people from receiving any of the following items, then my life will finally have some meaning. LET’S GET STARTED.

1) Triple H: Thy Kingdom Come DVD.

The only possible reason you’d buy this is to put the final nail in the coffin of somebody’s Triple H fandom. The match selection is mostly fine, but it’s the documentary that’s guaranteed to grate, given that it consists solely of a cycle of sycophants explaining how important and revolutionary Triple H was to the wrestling business while the man himself tells us he was ‘never meant to make it’ (because we all know how much Vince hates big muscly guys with well-conditioned hair and a dickish sense of humour).

However, it’s not all bad – there’s some fun footage of Stephanie and Triple H’s wedding, featuring Linda McMahon wearing what looks like one of those giant spiders from Resident Evil:

2) Autographed Dixie Carter action figure.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: there is no good reason for anyone to own a Dixie Carter action figure. Shockingly, these ‘exclusive’ items are still in stock at ShopTNA even though it’s been months since they were first released – could it be that all of TNA’s current financial woes are thanks to them investing too heavily in pieces of plastic shaped like their president? I don’t know for sure, but it sounds about right to me. Expect to see these in a landfill near you soon! Continue reading →

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