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News for The Week of January 25, 2016
WWE
- Vince McMahon has Kane and The Big Show giving “The Black Sheep” Braug Strawbin private lessons on how to make any show a very specific type of boring.
- With John Cena, The Undertaker and soon-to-be Brock Lesnar on his resume, WWE is meticulously planning a reverse streak for Bray Wyatt where he goes 0-20 at Wrestlemania.
- Dolph Ziggler announced that his upcoming comedy show at The Funny Shack has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. Close friends speculate that The Funny Shack never existed in the first place.
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NXT
- Austin Aries is publicly telling friends that he plans to support Bernie Sanders in the Presidential election but he is privately going to vote for Donald Trump.
- Alex Riley is publicly supporting Donald Trump in the Presidential election but he is privately not going to vote and instead sit in a dark room.
- Baron Corbin secretly watches Ring of Honor television every week and pre-orders all PWG DVDs.
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Other
- TNA has offered AJ Lee an unprecedented seven-figure contract so their new AJ merch doesn’t go to waste.
- Jim Ross is under investigation after three bottles of his BBQ sauce were found to be filled with nothing but whiskey.
- Lance Storm uses his reputation to get free ProWrestlingTees shirts of other wrestlers but sells them on the black market at half price.