Blue Skies. Blue Water. New Sexy Wrestler of The Week.
Ah, yes. It’s that time of the week again and here I am lounging on the deck of the magnificent Mystic Breeze coasting along in the heart of the ocean. I’ve got a piña colada in my hand (it’s a local drink) and my new friend Marty sitting beside me.
“Marty being boated back to Mystic Breeze after getting lost for a whole day in Isla Mujeres, Mexico and missing the ships departure.”
Marty is a 56 year old retired golf pro and he is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. He’s the life of the party when we go drink at the bar and is quite the competitive snooker player. He gave one of the Rogers brothers a huge wedgie after a heated match. Everyone loved it. Him calling the ship “Mystic Cheese” always gets our cruise buddies going.
It’s been really nice out here and I have two more weeks of this! I am the luckiest person to have had the money to pull this off. I’m pretty rich now and it was NOT for advertising Mortdecai on this site. We do not do advertising deals and I would never put my journalistic integrity on the line for a quick buck. I was genuinely sharing my opinion of a movie that I believed everyone was excited about. The accusatory statements need to stop now. You can try to ruin my vacation but you WILL NOT. Me and Marty are too busy causing a ruckus down at the boat’s buffet to worry about your ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. Capisce? Get in line because you are embarrassing yourselves.
Me and The Mart sat down over a few scotched peps (scotch with jalepeños) and counted up the votes last night and I think this week’s winner is refreshing. I love some face paint (although Marty thinks painting your face is a sign of weakness) so this is pretty cool!
That is right, buddies! Goldust is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. Marty approves because he matches his necklace and watch. Marty makes the funniest noises when his necklace gets caught on his chest hair in the pool.
The best part of this is that when Goldust is away from the squared circle he actually is the captain of his own ship! Maybe you’ve seen the SS Gold Boat floating by. Well, that is Goldust’s ship so yeah… that’s a thing.
Anyway, Marty is getting escorted away by security so I’ve got to run and find out what is going on. Hope he didn’t get caught trying to throw one of the Rogers brothers off the ship again. He was just kidding. He was even laughing!