Wrestling On Earth Logo
  • Wrestling On Air
  • Merch Table
  • Dirt Sheet History
  • Sexy Wrestler
  • ScoopZone
  • More Things
  • The Blast Zone: Black Thursday Special

    Our controversial opinion sharer Nightlife has returned with The Blast Zone! Don’t expect any punches to be pulled as he fearlessly puts the world of wrestling on BLAST!

    Hey guys it’s me, Nightlife (@AnimeKing420), and I’m back. It’s been a while, and I was considering hanging up my vintage ECW shirt that I bought off of wweshop.com in 2008, which I wear every time I write up one of these rants. The anger just wasn’t there as it used to be.

    But then, WWE (who I will from henceforth REFUSE to use their “proper” name) did the unthinkable:

    THEY PISSED ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    explode

    What did New York do THIS time, you ask??? If you weren’t a STUPID MARK with your HEAD buried in the Internet sand, you would KNOW the reason:

    THEY FIRED JTG!!!

    JTG

    For those of you who aren’t familiar with JTG, he is the central figure in 90% of wrestling memes. Want a quick, easy laugh? Use the tried-and-true image macro of JTG with “still employed” superimposed over the bottom of the image. Guaranteed upvotes on Reddit and mod favor on 420chan’s wrestling board.

    That’s right, true believers. The ‘E has finally done it: they’ve WAGED WAR on the TRUE fans!

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 5

    explodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplode

    And it doesn’t stop there, oh no. For you see, Paul’s Playground (yeah, I used Hunter’s REAL NAME!!!!!) has done more than just fire JTG. They have also fired:

    Curt Hawkins

    cur

    Hawkins had the potential to EASILY be the next CM Punk if The Company Formerly Known As The WWF would actually READ my unsolicited emails where I tell them the surefire way to get Curt Hawkins over by having him lose a squash match on RAW, then suddenly stop selling and grab a mic forcefully from one of the announcers, calling said announcer a “fat cunt” and the censor comes in too late so you know it’s a shoot, then starts calling out VINCE and PAUL before his mic gets cut out and the show ends 80 minutes early.

    OF COURSE The John Cena Variety Hour Company wouldn’t go for that, because they’re a bunch of DUMB, STUPID MARKS!!!!!

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 7

    explodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplode

    Drew McIntyre

    drew

    This was a VERY hypocritical release. I can’t be the only fan who remembers as recently as 2010 when Vince McMahon HIMSELF said, ON TV, WHICH IS A VERBAL CONTRACT, that Drew was “The Chosen One!” And that’s NOT B.S., you can look it up, so Vince, consider yourself sued.

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 6

    explodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplode

    Yoshi Tatsu

    yoshi

    I’m not sure if he was ever even on the main roster. Whatever. Who cares.

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 0

    Meng’s son

    camacho

    What’s-his-name. How DARE you fire the son of the TOUGHEST WRESTLER ALIVE!!! Meng is great for jokes, too, you can just say “Meng will beat you up for making that STUPID post on the Internet” or something like that and it’s a reference that SMART wrestling fans LIKE MYSELF who have watched shoot interview preview videos on YouTube understand.

    The Company That Killed REAL Hardcore Wrestling could have EASILY made him Meng 2.0, which I guarantee would have gotten over, just like Meng’s return to WWE at Royal Rumble 2001, which if you’ll recall (as any TRUE wrestling fan can EASILY remember ANY single moment from ANY wrestling show) he got a MASSIVE pop when he returned WITH the WCW Hardcore Championship (and DIDN’T drop it in a trash can on RAW – bad move by the WWF)!!! What a stupid firing by The Progenitors Of PG; they should have listened to me.

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 5

    explodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplode

    Aksana

    Aksana-knee-to-face

    Damn, she was hot. If You-Know-Who weren’t full of PG PANSIES they should have done Miss Hancock-style striptease segments with her on every show, for at least 15-30 minutes, with no breaking for commercials. More wasted talent. Typical.

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 4

    explodeexplodeexplodeexplode

    Teddy Long

    teddy long

    WOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I can’t make hilarious “tag team match, playa” jokes anymore. Thanks a lot, you killjoys Up North. You’ve quite literally ruined wrestling jokes forever.

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 8

    explodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplode

    You know what? That’s it. I can’t go on tearing Worst Wrestling Everytime a new you-know-what, not after that firing. That’s it WWE, you’ve finally done it. You’ve SUCKED the LAST WILL TO WRITE out of my body!

    After SmackDown, and the next RAW, and however many TVs until the next PPV, after all of those, I swear, I am done with your bush league, pitiful excuse for a wrestling company, Mickey Mouse charade FOREVER!!!!!

    And that-

    *drops mic*

    -is a shoot.

    BLAST-O-METER RATING: 25

    explodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplodeexplode

    Disagree with anything Nightlife had to say? The BlastZone welcomes retorts. Send them to wrestlingonearth@gmail.com and we’ll have a good fashioned debate IN The Blast Zone.

    Follow Nightlife on Twitter: @AnimeKing420

    This entry was posted in More Things!, The Blast Zone and tagged Attitude Era, Blast Zone, JTG, Reality Era on June 14, 2014 by Tom B.

    Post navigation

    ← IMPACT In 5 Pictures Or Less (6/12/2014)
    TNA Slammiversary 2014 Preview and Predictions →
  • Recent Posts

    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 73, 12/25/20 December 25, 2020
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 72, 9/4/20 September 4, 2020
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 71, 6/7/20 June 7, 2020
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 70, 5/10/20 May 10, 2020
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 69, 10/7/19 October 7, 2019
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 68, 8/24/19 August 24, 2019
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 67, 8/10/19 August 10, 2019
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 66, 7/27/19 July 27, 2019
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 65, 7/13/19 July 13, 2019
    • Wrestling On Air: Episode 64, 6/29/19 June 29, 2019

    Archives

    • December 2020
    • September 2020
    • June 2020
    • May 2020
    • October 2019
    • August 2019
    • July 2019
    • June 2019
    • May 2019
    • March 2019
    • February 2019
    • January 2019
    • December 2018
    • November 2018
    • October 2018
    • September 2018
    • August 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • March 2018
    • February 2018
    • January 2018
    • December 2017
    • November 2017
    • October 2017
    • September 2017
    • August 2017
    • July 2017
    • June 2017
    • May 2017
    • April 2017
    • March 2017
    • February 2017
    • January 2017
    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • October 2016
    • September 2016
    • August 2016
    • July 2016
    • June 2016
    • May 2016
    • April 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2016
    • January 2016
    • December 2015
    • November 2015
    • October 2015
    • September 2015
    • August 2015
    • July 2015
    • June 2015
    • May 2015
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • February 2015
    • January 2015
    • December 2014
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
  • Wrestling On Air
  • Merch Table
  • Dirt Sheet History
  • Sexy Wrestler
  • ScoopZone
  • More Things
© 2013 by WrestlingOnEarth.com | Powered by RPX