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News for The Week of June 9, 2014
WWE
- WWE is said to be very concerned with Rusev having a Twitter account because scientists do not know if social media skills are passed down from the parents.
- WWE Creative has been handed a memo stating that every wrestler on the roster must be presented on tv as “highly unlikable.”
- WWE Network is working on a Countdown episode featuring the “Worst Fan Chants.” We can confirm that 50% of the list is comprised of 2014 Batista puns.
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TNA
- Each of the seventy-five people who attended the TNA live events over the weekend do not remember how they got there but all agree the show was “tolerable.”
- TNA is running their Slammiversary PPV next week against likely the biggest NBA game of the year that happens to be taking place in the same state. In related news, Dixie Carter was heard talking about how good luck and fortunate breaks are on TNA’s side.
- TNA is very happy about the current Bully Ray vs. Dixie Carter feud because they worked PWInsider’s Mike Johnson into thinking Dixie pulling Bully off this weekend’s House of Hardcore shows was a shoot, unaware Johnson will believe anything an ECW alum tells him.
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Other
- Ted DiBiase Jr has recently written about how he mentally struggles with grilling in his post-WWE life. We reached out to a close friend of Mr. DiBiase Jr for more details on this matter and received the following reply:
“He burns the meat, man. Can’t eat burnt meat. You ever tried? It’s gritty and it makes me tummy moody. My doc said I should reevaluate our friendship because I consume too much of it. He used to never burn the meat. It was those DiBiase Possum Parties or whatever that did this to him. I can’t eat anymore burnt meat. I know that much.”
- Michael Elgin losing his mullet is said to be a sign of his “rebirth” as a non-terrible Twitter user.
- Lance Storm crushes Cheetos and puts it on his salad.
I don’t watch basketball, but Sunday is Game of Thrones’s finale, man! who the hell would watch slammiversary instead?! I skipped wrestlemania and waited to watch it the next day only for GoT’s first episode of the season earlier this year.