• Monthly Archives: March 2014

    This Or That (3/31/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Better historical Wrestlemania match?

    Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin @ Wrestlemania 13 – 66%, Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock @ Wrestlemania 18 – 34%

    Which one man Jim show would you rather attend?

    Jim Ross – 67%, Jim Cornette – 33%

    Better show idea?

    Steve Blackman Bounties – 63%, WWE Pros vs. Joes – 37%

    Better Mexican food?

    Burritos – 70%, Tacos – 30%

    Will Wrestlemania 30 be among the greatest events in Wrestlemania history: YES or NO?

    Get your prediction shoes on!

    wrestlemania-30

    Tim:

    It’s a huge night for Daniel Bryan and could lead to one of wrestling’s greatest moments but definitely not seeing it as one of the greatest Wrestlemanias in history. Most of the undercard seems thrown together just to fit in the most wrestlers it can. The high-profile matches are kind of weak when it comes to exciting build-ups.

    The main event could be something special if Daniel Bryan wins and the whole scenario of Daniel Bryan going the distance would make it one of my favorite Wrestlemanias of all-time but that doesn’t make the overall show one of the greatest.

    No

    typicalROHfan:

    So tough to forecast but it comes down to one thing for me. Are you a big Daniel Bryan fan? If so, yes.

    Other than Bryan/Triple H and the title match, nothing really has a big match feel going into the show. Undertaker/Lesnar has had a horrible build but should deliver in the ring. Cena/Wyatt is hit or miss. Everything else looks like complete filler. That being said, Daniel Bryan is my favorite wrestler and I expect him to deliver two GREAT matches and one of the best moments in Wrestlemania history if he wins the championship for real this time.

    YES

    Tom:

    I think the story of Bryan’s struggle to overcome everything has the potential to make the main event one of the best in Wrestlemania history, but as far as the whole show being among the greatest events overall… I don’t see it. The two Bryan matches are sure to be excellent, but given how great a lot of the guys are on the roster, the rest of the card is too depressingly empty for me to have much confidence in it.

    I’m interested in Cena/Wyatt and I think they’re capable of something special, but maybe only once they’ve had a couple of big matches together. The Brock/Taker match will be good, though I just don’t have the feeling that it’ll be any better than their previous efforts. The rest of the card is just a series of missed opportunities and guys thrown together for no particular reason. I’d love to be proven wrong and for this show to be incredible, but I personally don’t see it as happening.

    No

    [poll id=”74″]

    Continue reading →

    ScoopZone Elite: March 31, 2014

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of March 31, 2014

     WWE

    • The Wrestlemania tag team championship match will be contested under Ryback Rules. The first team to get over, become irrelevant and make offensive comments for shock factor all in one match wins.

     

    • Sources close to the matter reassured us that Tyson Kidd did indeed return and wrestle on a couple of episodes of Raw a few months back. I repeat: that did happen.

    -Advertisement-
    NXTAd

     TNA

    • When asked why he wrestles in gloves, Samuel Shaw explained “I have cold hands.”

     

    • Al Snow‘s Styrofoam head is the new head of TNA’s booking team.

    -Sponsored Links-
    Childhood Photo of CM Punk Revealed! Click Here!

     Other

    • ROH superstar Cheeseburger does not really like eating cheeseburgers more than any other food. We should have more information on this soon.

     

    • Lance Storm has a room in his home dedicated to chia pets.

     

    Wrestling With Food: Red Velvet Cake a la Kane

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

    kane-600

    It’s been a while since we cracked the ol’ cookbook (well, less than two weeks, but it feels longer) – that’s because we hightailed it out of the frozen tundra of New York and went on down to Orlando for vacation. THAT’S RIGHT. We went to Disney/Universal Studios and YES OF COURSE we went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

    Now, faithful readers of Wrestling With Food, if you were wondering what the beverage equivalent of Mark Henry’s Sexual Chocolate Cake was (or Vis’ No-Bake Cookies, for that matter), wonder no more: it’s BUTTERBEER, or at least whatever the secret ingredient in butterbeer is (possibly concentrated sugar).

    But I digress. I’m not here to talk about the wondrous treats of Hogwarts, I’m here to talk about a recipe from everyone’s favourite Libertarian, in Kane’s Red Velvet Cake. Let’s get it going, shall we?

    The ingredients:

    ingredients

    For the cake:

    1 (10 ¼ ounce) package fudge marble cake mix.

    1 teaspoon baking soda.

    2 eggs.

    1 ½ cups buttermilk.

    1 (1 ounce) bottle red food coloring.

    For the frosting:

    5 tablespoons flour.

    1 cup milk.

    1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened.

    1 cup sugar.

    2 teaspoons vanilla. Continue reading →

    The Merch Table: WrestleMania 30 Shit-Show Spectacular

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: WRESTLEMANIA 30 SHIT-SHOW SPECTACULAR.

    Every year, WWE pushes out a tidal wave of crap to coincide with the GRANDDADDY OF THEM ALL, WrestleMania. This year’s no exception, so if you’re attending the show and want a look at all the crap that you can waste your money on at the WrestleMania Superstore, you’re in the right place! LET’S GET STARTED.

    WrestleMania Plush Alligator

    gator

    Hey, look at this happy little guy! What a fun character, he’s not so… wait, what happened to his arms? Why are they tiny stumps? Did a barrel of thalidomide get dumped into his swamp or something?

    WrestleMania Piggy Bank

    piggy-bank

    Brother, if you’re spending $20 on this, then a piggy bank’s probably not going to be enough to help you sort out your financial situation. Continue reading →

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Welcome to the biggest event in the history of your life… until next week. It is time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! You’re ready. I know you are. I can see it in your eyes.

    I’m back after a long week at The Sexy Convention ’14 and let me tell you, that Fabio guy is one hell of an air hockey player. I was majorly letdown by a plate of mashed potatoes not being able to make it because of international trade laws but he did get to appear at The Sexy Q&A Panel via satellite. He wore a zany tie and it was funny.

    While I was there I learned of the newest technology for measuring sexy levels and how to count up to the number 150,000,000 so I’m pretty much a changed man. With this newest technique for counting your votes and the sexy levels of your nominees I can more precisely predict who should win this prestigious award.

    I’ll go more in-depth with how this system works next week but I’m tired from my trip and I’m really excited to reveal this week’s winner. So without further ado…

    AdamColeReturnsSWOTW

    Your Sexy Wrestler of The Week is Adam Cole! I think this winner does nothing but help prove that the new vote counting system is working. I’m glad it was worth it because I had to spend way too much money on a cauldron, litmus paper, and a few other important sexy level measuring devices. But like I said, I’ll explain all of that next week. For now we bathe in the presence Adam Cole’s return to the throne.

    Seven Things: 7 Wrestling Trades

    Welcome to Seven Things, a list that will run weekly and consist of very eclectic topics. These are of my opinions and doesn’t express the views of others on WrestlingOnEarth.

    One of the most interesting concepts in sports is trades. The ability to see athletes switch teams when both parties believe they are better from swapping players. Always a curiosity of mine, I frequently imagine a world where wrestling promotions make trades of talent.

    In the past, we’ve seen an unofficial trade of “one night only” appearances by WWE and TNA. Ric Flair was allowed to appear at the WWE Hall of Fame despite being a member of the TNA roster and WWE active star Christian Cage appeared on a TNA PPV to cut a promo & introduce a highlight video package that celebrated TNA’s anniversary on the apropos named event Slammiversary.

    That “trade” did not work out so well as Flair didn’t live up to his word to TNA (Ric Flair being unprofessional? Who knew?!) and certain parties being unhappy (TNA getting embarrassed? Who knew?!?! x 2) so obviously trades would realistically be problematic. Given money, contracts and many more factors, there is a sea of reasons that will prevent it from ever happening but it’s quite the fun topic to discuss. The criteria for these trades are simple. Sometimes wrestlers get stale or have been in a company so long, sometimes they just are not being used well, sometimes they seem to be a better fit to another company.

    The top 7 trades should be based off some of these, if not all. Without further ado, here are my 7 Wrestling Trades in today’s wrestling climate.

    Reminder: If you have any suggestions for future lists, feel free to share them in the comments or send them to me on Twitter: @typicalROHfan.

    7. Jeff Hardy (to WWE) for Batista (to TNA)

    trades1

    While it may only be two months in, I think even the most diehard WWE supporters can admit the Dave Batista return did not work out the way WWE intended. Brought back as a face meant to spark Wrestlemania and somewhat fill the void of what The Rock has brought to the road to Wrestlemania last few years, Batista was greeted with utter disdain by the WWE faithful. A mix of liking their babyface stars at the time more than him, WWE severely overrating the legacy of Batista and just poor booking led to Batista having to turn heel and basically be a 2nd tier player in his own Wrestlemania program.

    Meanwhile, Jeff Hardy is in TNA. As Willow. It doesn’t take much to put 2+2 together and see that Jeff is behind this idea. TNA’s last “legacy” asset, Hardy sells more tix than anyone else on their roster, a facet that TNA is struggling with. Without being able to offer as many things as WWE, TNA’s biggest pro would be to offer Hardy some creative respect and allow him to do something like Willow. The problem? Willow is crazy. And not good crazy.

    Flipping these two would improve both of their uses. Hardy still can go when motivated and I believe fans would gravitate towards him more than Batista. For all his faults, Hardy is still a likeable dude and Batista still seems like the biggest douchebag on the planet. Batista just doesn’t fit well in today’s WWE and strange to say, would be better off working his style in TNA. Plus the Guardians of the Galaxy buzz is doubtful to be a big help to WWE as you can barely tell it’s even him in that movie. A promotion like TNA is more starved for the promoting that would be minimal in a WWE bubble but massive for TNA.

    Continue reading →

    This Or That (3/25/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    More exciting concept in wrestling?

    Tournaments – 79%, Battle royals – 21%

    Better defunct WWE title?

    Hardcore – 76%, European – 24%

    More likely to keep their TNA push for the rest of 2014?

    The Wolves – 79%, Tigre Uno – 21%

    Better dessert?

    Pudding – 64%, Jello – 36%

    Better historical Wrestlemania match: Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart at Wrestlemania 13 or Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock at Wrestlemania 18?

    Two of the greatest Wrestlemania matches of all time, which was better?

    rock-hogan-bret-austin

    Tim:

    I prefer the Steve Austin vs Bret Hart match and story the most out of these two choices. There are multiple things about Austin vs Hart at Wrestlemania 13 that make it stand out to me as historical for Wrestlemania. It sent Austin over the edge as a big star. It as a huge stepping stone in his career. It even created one of the most popular iconographic pictures in Wrestlemania history when Austin was bleeding and screaming trying to not tap to The Sharpshooter. We all remember that image and have seen the picture countless times. On top of that it was a great match.

    I think if it was the end of the Austin/Hart feud and had the crowd reaction of Rock vs Hogan it would be the perfect Wrestlemania match in a historical sense. However, it didn’t… and while The Rock vs Hogan wasn’t the greatest in-ring battle it had what I think makes a match on the biggest stage more historical. Two of the biggest names one-on-one, a crowd reaction like hardly any other, and it was the blow-off to the program between the two. It’s not my favorite but it’s definitely more historical.

    Hogan vs The Rock

    typicalROHfan:

    On some level, I feel like I should say Bret vs. Austin due to how impressive it was of a story. Not only great wrestling and brawling but it helped tilt Steve Austin into a more likeable character on the road to being arguably the most successful wrestling star ever and made Bret Hart a great villain. That being said, I’m going with Rock vs. Hogan.

    That match represented what Wrestlemania is in my eyes. The biggest stars. The hottest crowd. A complete spectacle of magical wrestling moments coming to life. Very few matches in the history of wrestling are as easy to watch at any moment as it stands the test of time. From the opening bell where the fans turn on Rock to the post match where Hogan turns face and both men celebrate beating up Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, it’s such a wonderful match.

    Hogan vs. Rock

    Tom:

    This is really a question of what matters most with a match – what comes before or what comes after. Rock / Hogan was really the ultimate example of a ‘final chapter’ match, acting as a cap on both of their careers. Sure, Rock had a couple of big matches afterwards with Brock and Austin, but nothing that was ever quite on the level of this match. For Hogan, it really was his last hurrah before plummeting into total self-parody.

    With Bret / Austin though, it’s all about what came after. The match itself is incredible but I always come out of it wanting to just bing-watch all the Raws that came after to follow how Bret and Stone Cold grew into their new roles. As satisfying as Rock and Hogan’s match was, I think wrestling’s most fun when it’s building towards something new, rather than just settling things.

    Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

    [poll id=”70″]

    Continue reading →

    ScoopZone Elite: March 24, 2014

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of March 24, 2014

     WWE

    • Drake Younger’s name will be Joey Splashwater when he debuts on NXT. The original plan was to use this name for Solomon Crowe when he first arrived but he argued that a Bitcoin specialist would be way more cool.

     

    • Tonight’s RAW hashtag of #RuhROHRAW is a celebration of both Scooby Doo and Ring of Honor. Cesaro, Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan are scheduled to face Scooby, Shaggy and Fred in a Fight Without Honor on a future Hanna Barbera special.

    -Advertisement-

    PWTItWasMeAllAlong

     TNA

    • Garrett Bischoff was recently banned from all Universal theme park rides due to using an expired TNA employee discount card.

     

    • In an effort to continue pushing the envelope, the Samuel Shaw character is set to introduce a bestiality fetish. Once finished with Christy Hemme, Tigre Uno and The Wolves are next on his love list.

    -Sponsored Links-
    Weekend warrior “wrestler” arrested for stealing 4 years worth of meatballs at local buffet. Picture here.

     Other

    • Stacy Keibler is pregnant with her first child. The baby’s father has stated that he’s skeptical of the pregnancy and is scared she’s going to show up one day with a baby carriage full of 8X10’s of Shawn Stasiak.

     

    • Lance Storm licks psychoactive toads.