Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.
This week, we’ve chosen Billy Kidman vs. Horace “Not Hulk” Hogan in a bout from WCW Thunder on April 26, 2000. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.
Part 1: Kidman lays down the challenge.
Billy Kidman makes his way to the ring like a true star. He gets his own pyro, has his lady-friend next to him, and even gets halfway down the ramp before you’re distracted by the nameplate’s loud electricity sound. That’s a superstar entrance. Then we get an awkward cut to a replay from the week before. Marc Mero is in the crowd so we have to deal with that for a second.
Kidman trashes Hogan for a bit. I can always be content with people doing that. Torrie Wilson says some stuff but I was too busy counting how long her pauses were between each word. Kidman issues an open challenge. I hope he is prepared for who comes out.
The uncrowned 1990’s “Sexy Wrestler of the Decade” Billy Kidman comes out to the ring with Torrie Wilson. Torrie is currently known as the girlfriend of PED using baseball player Alex Rodriguez. Yes, she is dating a famous steroid user OUTSIDE of the world of pro wrestling. Earth, this is.
After boasting of a beat down on Hulkamania, Kidman SHOOTS on Hulk Hogan‘s comments burying Kidman in public. Hulk legitimately trashed Kidman in radio interviews in a real life context. Shades of Hulk Hogan in TNA. Wait, can we say “shades of” in reverse chronological order? Kidman talks about drawing straws and throwing potatoes (what is this throwing potatoes thing?) to see who faces him tonight. Who could it be?
Kidman’s rocking the red and yellow, brother. I never watched Thunder and WOW, that crackling electricty effect when his name comes up is about as 2000 as it gets. THAT’S GOTTA BE… THAT’S GOTTA BE MARC MERO IN THE FRONT ROW! And… Ray Renaldi? Ronaldi? Who?
Torrie Wilson’s faces while Kidman talks are REALLY weird. I think they’re meant to be sexy?. Somebody’s mom is drunkenly cheering Sexy Billy K. in the crowd. There’s a sign that reads ‘F.U.N.B.’, which is apparently something Hogan originated that means ‘Fuck U New Blood’. WCW was just amazing.
Kidman talks about how the people love him, and while the commentators try to under-cut him and say ‘doesn’t sound like it’, the camera keeps cutting to people cheering him like crazy. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE THINKING, WCW?!?
Part 2: Horace answers.
Hulk Hogan’s music hits but it’s not Hulk. It’s even better. It is his nephew, Horace Hogan. Mild cheers in support of nepotism wisp through the arena. Horace runs wild to the ring but Kidman stops him. Horace’s off-brand short pants lose -5 Magic against Kidman’s black Tommy Hilfiger short pants but Horace doesn’t need magic as he turns the tide and beats Kidman down outside of the ring for a bit.
Kidman turns things around but misses a big splash. Horace then gets pumped up and summons the little bit of Hulkamania that runs through his blood. Eric Bischoff comes out to point at Horace. Horace goes to get a table from underneath the ring.
Who is it?! That music! It’s
Hulk Horace Hogan!!! And the place goes mild after expecting Hulk and are greeted with the bitter disappointment of Hulk’s nephew Horace. Quite frankly, they deserve to suffer from the fake out for actually thinking Hulk would get his revenge on Thunder.
I guess Marc Mero didn’t have the guts to accept the challenge. Johnny B Badd fears Billy Kidman. Tell a friend!
Is Horace wearing Billy Kidman’s old jorts? Why is Horace so driven to extract for revenge for his uncle? Hulk abandoned Horace and the rest of the NWO D squad in 1999 with no explanation whatsoever leaving them high and dry. Kidman plays possum for about 5 minutes as Bobby Heenan cracks some great one liners about the Hogans.
Could it be?!? YES! It’s Horace Hogan! He’s rocking some jorts which are a really weird length, a sleeveless, open shirt and a gold chain. They reference Hogan as “Terry Bollea”, IS THIS REAL?! As they brawl on the outside, there’s a sign in the front row which just says ‘JANITOR’. Is that a shot at Hacksaw Jim Duggan?
WRESTLING HAPPENS and wait a minute, what’s Eric Bischoff doing out here? Kidman gets a pretty weedy looking chairshot to the back from Horace, because apparently that’s legal? I wasn’t paying attention, maybe it is. Anyway, Double H decides one chairshot is enough, but it’s TABLE TIME. I’m really enjoying Tony Schiavone during this match for some reason.
Part 3: Horace fails.
Horace is on the ring apron when the unthinkable happens: Torrie Wilson grabs Horace’s man-junk to save Kidman. It was slow and painful from what i could tell but I do not know for sure. Bischoff gets in and whammies Horace’s head with a chair which leads to a cool spot where Kidman bulldogs Horace through the table on the outside. Kidman pins him as three guys on the front row chant “holy shit.” Bischoff counts to three because he can and the bell rings. Billy Kidman wins.
Torrie Wilson touches Horace’s testicles making for really awkward television. Confirmed to be WCW’s answer to the Attitude Era?
An elderly woman in a leather jacket kicks the referee and hits Horace Hogan with a chair. Kidman delivers a bulldog through the table for the win. The moral of this story? Mature biker gals loved Billy Kidman.
Torrie Wilson gives Horace a… ballshot? It looks more like she straight up fondles him. Bischoff interferes with a chair, Kidman puts Horace through a table and then Creepy Uncy Eric counts the three. More tremendous stuff from late WCW.