Welcome to Seven Things, a list that will run weekly and consist of very eclectic topics. These are of my opinions and doesn’t express the views of others on WrestlingOnEarth.
This week’s topic is one that I’ve considered doing for months ever since the inception of Seven Things – the wrestlers you assume smell the worst. The problem in executing this idea has been filling out list past a few spots. I did my best and scouted the world of wretched smelling pro wrestlers to compile this week’s edition of Seven Things. Enjoy.
7. Bastion Booger
Let’s get the obvious one out of the way first. I’m not entirely sure what the Bastioon Booger gimmick was supposed to be other than someone who looks like they smell repulsive. The gimmick hopes succeeded.
Ryback sweats a lot, his beard looks a bit gross like food could easily get stuck in it and his teeth are extraordinarily white. I have a theory he gets teeth whitening operations in order to have the freedom of not brushing his teeth for a few days. Feel free to spread that around the internet.
Friend of the site Josh Ketch was a recently at a WWE TV event and got into a shouting match with Ryback on Main Event. Josh exclusively confirmed to us that Ryback does indeed have bad breath. Here’s photographic evidence:
Follow Josh on Twitter: @xIAMHOLLYWOODx
5. Henry Godwinn
When Vince McMahon saw him, he thought Henry Godwinn would be best fitted to play a smelly farmer. You have to assume there were some correlations there. Even when enduring a gimmick change to Southern Justice, Henry still looked like was a bit high on the odor scale.
The Godwinns most memorable moment was probably dropping their disgusting slop onto Sunny. A moment that likely would no longer make the top seven disgusting moments of Sunny’s career.
Dennis Knight is excluded because I will never say a bad word for Naked Mideon.
4. The Miz
You just assume if someone kisses that much ass for that long a period of time…..
3. Bubba The Love Sponge
Bubba The Love Sponge is known for being a terrible human being, being Hulk Hogan’s lackey and getting punched in the face by Awesome Kong. Bubba seems like the type to empty a bottle or two of overpriced cologne on his chest as a substitute for a shower. His real last name (Clem) rhymes with phlegm so he probably had to endure childhood teasing about his hygienic tact.
2. Gene Snitsky
There’s a rumor out there that Gene Snitsky smells terrible but he is kind of proud of it. His WWE gimmicks went from psychopath to foot fetishist to yellow teeth enthusiast. Some say the yellow teeth gimmick was derived from having very bad breath.
Where is Gene these days? Well for just $1500, you can attend a WWE or TNA show with Snitsky. No word on if he’ll wear deodorant.
1. Brian Knobbs
The motivation for this list. When wanting to write about the foulest of odors in pro wrestling, only one man came to mind. Brian Fn Knobbs. Knobbs, a part of The Nasty Boys, would his opponents faces in his armpits. I’d imagine wrestlers feared this maneuver as if it were a shoot, brother.
In 2013, Knobbs is a fat, alcoholic, mullet rocking scumbag stuck in the 90’s AKA the same person he was in 1993. Recently, he was knocked out by WrestlingOnEarth perennial favorite New Jack for using racial slurs in what Knobbs perceived to be a comedic nature to those around him. Mental odor much? New Jack made sure to make note of how horrible Knobbs smells in an interview following the incident.
Hell will be sharing a sauna with Brian Knobbs.