ScoopZone Elite: October 28, 2013

We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

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News for the Week of October 28, 2013

WWE

• Ryback is in the doghouse with WWE officials for regressing in the ring and having a poor attitude. When asked about this Ryback said “I don’t have a poor attitude, idiot!”

 

• R-Truth wearing the same suit on the Hell In A Cell promotional poster and on the show is not a coincidence. It’s literally the only suit he owns.

 

• Curtis Axel is not really injured. The real story is WWE just forgot to book a flight for him because they forgot he is on the roster.

 

• Despite his promises to ‘break’ and ‘rip off’ Paul Heyman’s face, the repeated kendo stick shots CM Punk delivered to his former manager resulted in little more than light bruising to Heyman’s back and ribs. Many are now questioning the Straight Edge Superstar’s understanding of basic human anatomy.

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 TNA

• Eric Bischoff has been told to “work from home” for the remainder of his TNA contract. They forgot to tell Jason Hervey to follow him and now he just roams the halls backstage like a lost child while muttering “I get by with a little help from my friends.”

 

• In response to the uncertainty of TNA’s future, Gunner has recently sent his ‘Best Of’ highlight reel to all wrestling promotions with the only one responding being $5 Wrestling.

 

• With the aforementioned TNA death rumors, Hulk Hogan is looking to appeal to the snarky, ironic culture of America with a new line of t-shirts. The front will be R.I.P TNA/WCW tributes with the back saying “Did I do that? LOL!”

 

• The Ethan Carter III debut has been very successful in helping business. The business of unknown independent wrestlers being able to tell their friends they trended on Twitter, that is.

 

• Reports are saying that Kurt Angle is deeply regretting not accepting his induction into the TNA Hall of Fame, as he could really use a new watch. He dropped his last one down a well and now he’s missing all his appointments.

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Other

• Jay Briscoe debuted his own ROH World Championship belt this past weekend. It has everything you’d expect including The Confederate Flag, a skull, and camouflage. We can confirm that the original design had bullets and a Bible in it but they were withheld due to limited space.

 

• DGUSA’s Gabe Sapolsky has been recently found “trolling” TNA Wrestling’s twitter account and a few wrestling fans. An inside source told us Gabe sits cross legged and plays “Cult of Personality” when typing these tweets.

 

• With Adam Cole’s new sexy theme song, Jimmy Jacobs iTunes success and Bobby Fish’s karaoke skills coming to light, there has been discussion of ROH releasing musical DVDs such as “West Side Storytelling”, “Briscoe Get Your Gun” and “Damn Cornee!”

 

• When asked about Wrestling On Earth, Lance Storm coldly stated his favorite planets were Neptune, Jupiter and the controversial Pluto.