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News for the Week of October 21, 2013
WWE
- CM Punk and AJ are dating.
- Bray Wyatt has been cleared to return to the ring. When asked if Wyatt’s injury put a damper on plans for The Wyatt Family a person on the WWE creative team stated “we never really have a plan for anything.”
- Big E. Langston is slated to get an Intercontinental Title run. Management are discussing what racial stereotype gimmick to give him if he does gets over and they decide to give him a bigger push into the main event picture.
- Kane is scheduled to return and become a part of the Wyatt Family as soon as Hell In A Cell. Much like Big Show, Kane’s contract has a clause mandating he has at least one face and/or heel turn per year.
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TNA
- CM Punk and AJ are dating.
- Sports Illustrated will be doing an article on Dixie Carter in the near future. Our sources tell us that this is the first step in her buying out the magazine. She will then give the pages six corners to set it apart from other magazine’s pages. It will do absolutely nothing for the product.
- Ethan Carter III was greeted warmly backstage by Eric Bischoff and Dave Linguine for a job well done in his first TNA match. His opponent ‘Pretty’ Peter Avalon was chewed out for getting over with the live crowd. “We can’t edit and zoom into two fans booing when it’s live! Go fuck your pie” shouted Linguine.
- Candice LaRae received a tryout in TNA last night. Upon further scouting, they realized they signed the wrong person after watching a LaRae vs. Joey Ryan PWG match.
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Other
- ROH has been begging Adam Cole to do a photo shoot in bed wearing nothing but the ROH title similar to the legendary Shawn Michaels spread in a desperate attempt to spike Ringside Membership sales online. No word on if Cole has made all our dreams come true yet.
- Frustrated by Breaking Bad having ‘no baby face’, Lance Storm has taken it upon himself to write a new television drama, and we were lucky to get a look at his initial spec for the show:
“The Good Man vs. The Bad Man” by Lance T. Storm
The Good Man is a good man. His name is irrelevant; all that matters is that he is a good man. He has excellent psychology and everything he does MAKES SENSE. The Bad Man is a bad man, but his motivations are always explained clearly and concisely.
The show will be 44 minutes in length, and each episode will involve a number of interesting events that illustrate why the Good Man is a good man and the Bad Man is a bad man. With commercial breaks, the total broadcast time will be one hour. The breaks will feature adverts for good, sensible products. THE SMALL, COCKY, ARROGANT TOM CRUISE IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE INVOLVED WITH THIS PRODUCTION, THAT IS A DEAL BREAKER.