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WWE Royal Rumble 2014 Preview and Predictions

The Royal Rumble is on Sunday. We talk about it. Because in the words of a sexual chocolate being, that’s what we do!

Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @typicalROHfan, @TimWelcomed and @TomBlackett.

Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The New Age Outlaws for the WWE Tag Team Championship (Pre-show match)

typicalROHfan:

The Attitude Era is back!!!! Suck it, PG nerds. Jokes about the match featuring 75% 90’s superstars aside, it should be really cool. I honestly wish this was on the actual show as an opener and Daniel Bryan/Bray Wyatt wasn’t happening at all. The match should be fun and entertaining.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Cody Rhodes and Goldust win.

Tim:

I am pretty tired of The New Age Outlaws by this point but I think this should be a fun match. Billy Gunn can still work pretty well and the team of Goldust and Cody Rhodes are always a good watch.

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Cody Rhodes and Goldust win.

Tom:

Wow, this is a weird one. I think the Outlaws might have just about worn out their welcome, especially now they’re in that strange place where they’re supposedly heels but they have the nostalgic factor, catchphrases and t-shirts hiding their old man tummies that make it hard to really get invested in hating them.

However, assuming this is their last appearance with WWE for a little while then it could be a fun time. The spotlight’s been off Cody and Goldust for a while, but they’re still just quietly having really good matches, so hopefully they’ll give us another good one here.

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: Cody Rhodes and Goldust win.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

typicalROHfan:

Since re-debuting in WWE, Bray Wyatt’s PPV singles matches have been a train wreck to the point where the guy rarely ever participates in actual matches. Can Daniel Bryan further cement himself as one of the best in-ring wrestlers of all time by changing this? I think so but my hope is Bryan destroys him in 2 minutes, proclaims he’s not done for the night and enters himself in the Royal Rumble match. Or perhaps he takes out the other two Wyatt dudes opening two spots in the Rumble; one for himself.

Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: Daniel Bryan wins.

Tim:

I really don’t want to see Bray Wyatt wrestle. I don’t have good memories about his other matches but at least he’s working against Daniel Bryan so maybe it’ll be entertaining. I feel like I’ve already seen the pay-off to this feud when Bryan annihilated Bray Wyatt in the cage. At least they can move Daniel Bryan on to something else after this.

Interest Level: 4/10
Prediction: Daniel Bryan wins.

Tom:

Man, does this need to happen? Whining about a Daniel Bryan PPV match is a bit mad, but as relatively short as this feud has been, it does feel like it’s already culminated – Bryan tricked Bray, beat the shit out of him and that was that.

I guess they need to keep him busy if he’s really not going to be in the Rumble (which I refuse to believe because that would be SUCH a shame) and Bray could really use a great singles match to cement him as a wrestler as well as a character, but… look, I just really want Bryan in the Rumble.

Interest Level: 7/10
Prediction: Daniel Bryan wins.

 

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

typicalROHfan:

I’ve seen this match too many times in my teenage years to gather any interest today. I’m sure seeing the F5 hit on The Big Match one more time will be cool enough but I wish Brock Lesnar was facing Mark Henry here instead.

Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: Brock Lesnar wins.

Tim:

The Big Show as a character is the most unbalanced person in the WWE Universe. One month he’s crying. The next he’s a force to be reckoned with. The next he’s a joke. It’s a revolving door of confusion with this guy. I can’t take him seriously as an opponent that threatens Brock now. With that said, we’ve at gotten some good Heyman promos leading up to this. I don’t have too much hope for this match.

I really wish they’d do something with Lesnar that would interest me before he’s gone again. Him vs Punk will probably be the only thing I fondly remember from this WWE run.

Interest Level: 3/10
Prediction: Brock Lesnar wins.

Tom:

This could be… amazing? Is that a crazy thing to say? I still get a kick out of Brock, even when he’s paired with one of the least interesting opponents imaginable – watching him bump for Show in recent weeks has been incredible, because I can’t tell if he’s really, REALLY good at it or if he’s just insane and has no idea what he’s doing. It could be a little of both – the way he flies out of the ring in a crazy way, lands on his face and then bounces back up with a scream and/or a laugh is something that I never get sick of seeing.

Anyway, hopefully this doesn’t go too long and sees Big Show comprehensively destroyed in the finish. It has to walk a thin line to work, but it could be fun!

Interest Level: 8/10
Prediction: Brock Lesnar wins.

AJ Lee vs. Naomi for the Divas Title

This is not an official match as of now but is rumored to be added on the night of the show.

typicalROHfan:

I recall liking both of these gals on NXT Season 3. (The REAL NXT with Michael Cole and various wrestlers cracking jokes in between wacky contests.) Naomi seemed to be the most athletically gifted female performer WWE had in quite some time. Hopefully she gets a fair shake and loses the silly gimmick that forces her to use the butt bump as a legitimate semi-finisher. I’d rather see this than the other singles matches on the card to be perfectly honest.

Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: AJ Lee wins if it does happen.

Tim:

This has all of the makings of a good match. Naomi is really great at wrestling and AJ isn’t too shabby herself. Give them enough time and don’t end it in a roll-up and I bet I’ll be satisfied with this match.

Interest Level: 6/10
Prediction: AJ Lee wins.

Tom:

Naomi was REALLY good on Monday (and is really good in general), so I hope this does make it onto the show. It’d be cool if a Naomi / AJ feud actually happens and gets some build so we can have a match with women at Wrestlemania that has some purpose, rather than just all the girls thrown together in a multi-tag match or whatever.

Interest Level: 5/10
Prediction: AJ Lee wins.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the WWE World Championship

typicalROHfan:

Dear God:

Please have John Cena win the title and face Daniel Bryan in the Wrestlemania main event.

Thanks!

Interest Level: 0/10
Prediction: John Cena wins.

Tim:

I just want Orton to go away.

Interest Level: -10/10
Prediction: John Cena wins.

Tom:

Cool, I somehow forgot that this was even on the show! I’m already sick of Orton and Cena scrapping, how about you? If Orton retains, it’s probably a fair assumption we’ll see him fighting Batista or maaaaaaybe Punk at Wrestlemania. If Cena wins, then Bryan seems far more likely to be the one. Yet another reason to cheer for Cena!

Interest Level: 2/10
Prediction: John Cena wins the WWE World Heavyweight WCW Undisputed Title.

The Royal Rumble Match

typicalROHfan:

I’ll rattle off the people I view with a realistic chance of winning.

Batista. WORST case scenario because it will confirm the Batista vs. Orton WWE Title Wrestlemania match. Unfortunately the most likely.

Daniel Bryan. If he is in the Rumble, it will be a welcomed surprise and he will likely win it. If he’s not in the Rumble, it’s because WWE is fearful of fans chanting his name once he’s eliminated and ruining their moment.

Brock Lesnar. Randomly decided he wants to be WWE Champ. Perhaps he beats up a geek backstage and steals their Rumble spot. Wins and faces Cena?

Last but not least as he’s my pick…..

Roman Reigns. WWE is pushing this guy to the moon. Perhaps happens sooner rather than later aka NOW. My prediction is Roman Reigns wins the Rumble and faces John Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania 30.

Interest Level: 9/10
Prediction: Roman Reigns wins the Royal Rumble.

Tim:

I don’t care too much about the probable winner, Batista. Orton vs Batista at Wrestlemania sounds sleep-inducing. I’d prefer Daniel Bryan get in and win so maybe he could win the title at Wrestlemania and finally give me that closure to all of those teases during his feud with The Authority. The Royal Rumble is always something to look forward too. I can not wait.

Interest Level: 10/10
Prediction: Batista wins.

Tom:

OKAY, RIGHT. Let’s think about the likely candidates:

Batista.

Pros: Came back on Monday to a decent reaction, was immediately placed in a position to feud with Orton. Has muscles.

Cons: Despite wearing a ridiculous top, skinny jeans and sunglasses upon his return, he lacked the silly hat and additional accessories to cement him as the Internet’s sweetheart again.

CM Punk.

Pros: Starting at number one, placed in the ‘anti-establishment guy trying to buck the odds’ role…

Con: …but only in a very last-minute way. Hair still isn’t main event ready.

Sheamus.

Pros: Seems ready to return, apparently well-liked by certain beefy COOs.

Con: He’s Sheamus and there isn’t a Smackdown title anymore.

Daniel Bryan.

Pros: Still getting huge reactions, even though sources say he won’t be included in the Rumble.

Cons: Sources can SUCK MY DICK. YOU GOTTA DREAM TO BELIEVE, BROTHER.

Interest Level: 10/10
Prediction: Daniel Bryan wins.

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