• WWE Great Balls of Fire 2017 Preview and Predictions

    Yep.

    Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @JoeyOnEarth, @TomBlargh and @OrinAnne@TimWelcomed refuses to be involved in this post because he didn’t want to sully his good reputation by writing “balls” a lot.

    Neville vs. Akira Tozawa for the Cruiserweight Championship on the kick off

    Joey:

    Neville is still the best thing in the cruiserweight division and there’s no way they can take the title off him now. The Tozawa story with the Titus Worldwide Brand is great stuff. I love Titus playing the LaVar Ball of the cruiserweight division. Tozawa/Neville is one of the better cruiserweight bouts we’ve yet to see, so this should be fun! I expect Neville to retain as he’s probably not losing until Kalisto joins the division.

    Interest Level: 8/10
    Prediction: Neville wins

    Tom:

    I’m not very interested in this show at all so I’m just going to get my wife @Sydneyb79 to help with some fantastic predictions. Take it away, Sydney!

    Sydney: “Well we like Neville… who the fuck is the second guy? I’m going to Google him. *gets her laptop* Akira… Tozawa. Oh, okay. Well, he has some fun shorts in his Wikipedia profile picture so that’s why he gets my vote.”

    Interest Level: 7/10
    Prediction: Tozawa wins.

    Orin:

    Is Akira “Titus Worldwide” Tozawa on the Neville Level? Will Titus O’Neal’s newest recruit to the Titus Brand have what it takes to dethrone the King of the Cruiserweights? No matter what happens, one thing is for sure: these two Cruserweight Superstars are sure to show the world what their balls are made of. I can’t wait to find out what happens tonight on WWE’s Great Balls of Fire pay-per-view, presented by Rocket League.

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: A dream match for the ages.

    Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass

    Joey:

    Big Cass beating the hell out of Enzo Amore is a lovely thing to witness. Their segments against each other still feel odd. Hopefully the match starts to set them apart and get the story going. Enzo did a great job on Raw this week. Good for him but hopefully Cass throws his ass off the stage.

    Interest Level: 5/10
    Prediction: Cass wins

    Tom:

    Sydney: “That’s hard. Um. They’re both from Queens, right? (Me: “No, Enzo is from New Jersey.”) Okay, so fuck Enzo. It’s Big Cass.”

    Interest Level: 8/10 because he’s representing Queens.
    Prediction: Big Cass wins.

    Orin:

    Mama Mia! Enzo’s balls are sure to be full of a spicy marinara, but I’m not sure that he has what it takes to pull out a big win tonight on the award winning WWE network. I can’t wait to witness this emotional confrontation between the self-proclaimed The Realest Guys in the Room. When the dust clears, who will come out on top? There’s only one way to find out and that’s by tuning in on your internet-enabled device LIVE tonight.

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: A LIVE matchup brought to you by Rocket League.

    The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose for the Intercontinental Championship

    Joey:

    No.

    (Respect to Miz for roasting Dean Ambrose last week but still fuck this)

    Interest Level: 0/10
    Prediction: Miz wins

    Tom:

    Sydney: “Ugggh. It’s like who do I dislike more. I think it would be The Miz? because I like how not into being on ‘Total Divas’ Dean Ambrose was, whereas The Miz really embraced it, so I’ll go for Ambrose over The Miz.”

    Interest Level: 5/10
    Prediction: Dean Ambrose wins.

    Orin:

    When the first-ever Great Balls of Fire pay-per-view streams live tonight on the WWE Network, we’ll all be there to witness yet another unpredictable matchup between The A Lister and the bad boy known as Unhinged Dean Ambrose. Will the Miztourage serve their master well and turn the odds in Miz’s favor? Fire up your Mac, tablet or PC or stream instantly from your Smart TV to see The Awesome One deliver an epic Ball Crushing Finale.

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: Someone will walk out with the gold tonight at 8 ET/5 PT on the groundbreaking WWE Network.

    Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The Hardy Boyz in an Iron Man Match for the Raw Tag Team Championship

    Joey:

    Iron Man Matches are trash unless the rivalry and chemistry warrants it. The Hardy Boyz and Cesaro & Sheamus just need to stop wrestling each other already. The last stipulation needed here was an Iron Man Match. Why make this match 30 minutes and snub the sexy king Finn Balor from getting some PPV time?

    My expectations are the Hardys winning considering the only other teams in the division are heels. The Hardys can face The Revival (#FTR) and The Club. Cesaro and Sheamus will have to wrestle Heath Slater and Rhyno for months.

    Interest Level: 2/10
    Prediction: Hardys win

    Tom:

    Sydney: “Okay, so 100% into it, because I want to see those 40 year old Hardyz wrestle their butts off. Whatshisface… fuck, Sheamus is boring. I want to see those Hardyz doing stunts they shouldn’t be doing at their ages. Bonus points if Matt Hardy talks about Brother Nero at all.”

    Interest Level: 9/10
    Prediction: The Hardy Boyz win.

    Orin:

    If you had told me one year ago if I would be fortunate enough to witness the legendary Hardy Boyz face off against the tandem of Sheamus and Cesaro on the first-ever Great Balls of Fire pay-per-view, I would shake my head in disbelief. What a matchup this will be.

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: 30 minutes of epic action delivered LIVE on the award-winning WWE Network.

    Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt

    Joey:

    I should be interested in seeing a rare “first time” bout between two pretty highly ranked wrestlers. Sadly, I can’t pretend to give a damn about anything Bray Wyatt related. Seth Rollins had a great promo a few weeks ago following his WWE 2K over reveal. WWE is going to of course kill any momentum with a Wyatt feud of doom.

    Interest Level: 5/10
    Prediction: Seth Rollins wins

    Tom:

    Sydney: “That’s a really fucking boring match. Um. I don’t have a lot to say about this one. I don’t really care. I don’t want Seth Rollins to hurt anyone because that seems to be his thing but Bray Wyatt is pretty boring and I bet his hair smells like socks.”

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: “Seth Rollins will win because he was kind of nice in the Kevin Owens documentary.”

    Orin:

    “These two top tier Superstars will face off tonight at 8 ET/5 PT on the award-winning WWE Network: the ONLY place to watch Great Balls of Fire. Prepaid cards are available at Wal-Mart, Dollar General, 7-11, and other fine retailers. No credit card commitment is required and all you need is an internet connection. Start your free month now.” -Bray Wyatt, WWE Superstar

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: Sign up today!

    Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman in an Ambulance Match

    Joey:

    I’m sure these two could have a great hardcore style match. However, Ambulance Matches are absolute trash. 95% of them are boring. I also just want this feud to end already. Give Roman the big win and let him get rid of Brock already. Send “The Big Guy” into a feud with Dean Ambrose and leave me alone. We all win aka me

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: Roman Reigns wins

    Tom:

    Sydney: “I would sooner rather go get some medical tests done than watch this match. I do not care. I guess I want Strowman to win because he’s mildly less boring. I’m currently watching a video about a fish that’s been sliced open and is still bouncing around. It’s called zombie fish.”

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: Strowman wins.

    Orin:

    Remember John Cena and Ryback’s brutal Three Stages of Hell Match at WWE’s Payback 2013, featuring official theme “Another Way Out” by Hollywood Undead? I remember it because it culminated in an Ambulance match. If you missed that showdown, you can stream it, along with more than 8,000 hours of on-demand programming TONIGHT on the WWE Network.

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: Cena delivers a devastating Attitude Adjustment to Ryback through the roof of the ambulance and wins.

    Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks for the Raw Women’s Championship

    Joey:

    This is definitely my most anticipated match on the show. Alexa Bliss and Sasha Banks are probably my two favorite female wrestlers on the main roster right now. The heel work of Bliss and the popularity of Bliss should hopefully provide a hot crowd for the women’s match that has been lacking on Raw PPVs lately.

    Side note: These two hate each other IRL as reported by my main man RJ

    Interest Level: 9/10
    Prediction: Alexa Bliss wins

    Tom:

    Sydney: “Now Carmella’s the one who’s meant to have an accent and be from Staten Island? Uh. I’m just taking a quick look at them. Are they both kind of assholes? Because Sasha Banks seems a bit of a dick. Let’s go with Alexa.”

    Interest Level: 5/10
    Prediction: Alexa Bliss wins.

    Orin:

    Alexa “The Goddess” Bliss is One Blissed off Chick, but does she have the testicular fortitude to hold her own against the self-proclaimed Legitimate Boss, Sasha Banks? One thing you can BANK on is that the action will be sizzling tonight at the American Airlines Arena in Dallas, Texas. Prepare for a red hot matchup as these pint-sized ladies put it all on the line at the maiden voyage of the Great Balls of Fire pay-per-view event.

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: Banks defeats Bliss for the coveted gold title.

    Brock Lesnar vs. Samoa Joe for the Universal Championship

    Joey:

    The build between Brock Lesnar and Samoa Joe has been incredible. I honestly viewed Joe as the least credible of the five guys in that #1 Contenders Match last month. A few weeks of strong booking helped remind me of how badass Joe is. I can only imagine how great the show could be if WWE always committed to top guys like this.

    As for the match, I’m really excited to see it, but I’m expecting it to go quickly. I predict Brock will win in 3-5 minutes. Hopefully WWE does something cool with Joe going forward as this past month has done more for him than the past 5-8 years before then.

    Interest Level: 8.5/10
    Prediction: Brock Lesnar wins

    Tom:

    Sydney: “Um. I would really like Samoa Joe to win, because he seems like a normal, nice person who’s a good wrestler and is not a dick. But I feel like Brock Lesnar will do that one move 100 times and, I don’t know. I think Samoa Joe deserves better than Brock Lesnar. I will watch it because you made me know about Samoa Joe when he is not in WWE… was he in TNA? (Me: “Yes.”) So I’m glad he’s made it up further. Hopefully he doesn’t have to wrestle Brock Lesnar too long.”

    Interest Level: 4/10 (“mostly because of Brock Lesnar”)
    Prediction: “They’ll probably make Brock Lesnar win.”

    Orin:

    This is the real deal right here, baby.

    Interest Level: 10/10
    Prediction: Devastating live action