Wrestling With Food: Red Velvet Cake a la Kane

The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

It’s been a while since we cracked the ol’ cookbook (well, less than two weeks, but it feels longer) – that’s because we hightailed it out of the frozen tundra of New York and went on down to Orlando for vacation. THAT’S RIGHT. We went to Disney/Universal Studios and YES OF COURSE we went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Now, faithful readers of Wrestling With Food, if you were wondering what the beverage equivalent of Mark Henry’s Sexual Chocolate Cake was (or Vis’ No-Bake Cookies, for that matter), wonder no more: it’s BUTTERBEER, or at least whatever the secret ingredient in butterbeer is (possibly concentrated sugar).

But I digress. I’m not here to talk about the wondrous treats of Hogwarts, I’m here to talk about a recipe from everyone’s favourite Libertarian, in Kane’s Red Velvet Cake. Let’s get it going, shall we?

The ingredients:

For the cake:

1 (10 ¼ ounce) package fudge marble cake mix.

1 teaspoon baking soda.

2 eggs.

1 ½ cups buttermilk.

1 (1 ounce) bottle red food coloring.

For the frosting:

5 tablespoons flour.

1 cup milk.

1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened.

1 cup sugar.

2 teaspoons vanilla.

For a fun twist this time around, I worked out of my parent’s kitchen. (We were visiting). I informed them they had to taste and provide their reviews as well. As a backup measure, I also made a coffee crumb cake in case this cake was awful. Double Cake Sunday!

The process:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

NOTE: Man, was I envious of my parent’s oven. It’s digital and tells you when the preheating is done. Our oven in our apartment runs hot, and it’s always a fun time trying to guess the right cooking time!

2. To make the cake, in a large bowl, combine the cake mix and baking soda. Add the eggs, buttermilk, and food coloring. With a beater, blend on low until moistened and then beat on high for 2 minutes.

NOTE: So basically, dump it all in a bowl and mix it up. I didn’t have the stand mixer but a hand mixer does just fine for this recipe.

3. our the batter into 2 greased and floured 9-inch cake pans and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

NOTE: Couldn’t find their springform pans, so sheet cake it was!

4. Let cool for 10 minutes. Remove the cakes from the pans to a wire rack to let cool completely.

NOTE: At this point, Tom and I head out to run errands, so we really let that cake cool and didn’t get to frosting it until hours later

5. To make frosting, whisk the flour and the milk in a saucepan over medium-low heat until smooth. Bring to a boil. Whisk and stir for 2 more minutes or until the sauce has thickened. Cover the mixture and refrigerate.

NOTE: I basically forgot to take pictures of the frosting in progress. But be advised, Step 5 can be a little tricky – you want to keep whisking and stirring fairly quickly but you don’t want to let it burn or get too clumpy. It actually got slightly tiring, but I figured all the rapid movement would tone my arms like Steve Blackman’s. I’m a lethal weapon in progress.

6. In a mixing bowl, cream the butter and the sugar. Add the chilled milk mixture and beat until fluffy, about 10 minutes.

7. Frost the top of one of the cake layers. Carefully place the second later on top of the first.  Frost the sides of the cake and then the top.

AND VOILA.

The verdict:

Me:

This actually might be my 2nd favourite dessert so far. It has all the makings to be an overly sweet cake, but oddly enough, none of it was too cloying. Other red velvet cakes I’ve made are a little drier and/or have a cream cheese based icing – this icing was a lot lighter in texture and sweetness.

My star rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

My mom:

After my mother confirmed with me that it was okay to prefer the coffee crumb cake I made (it’s her favourite dessert) she did tell me it was quite good, and gave it 4 out of 5 stars. The coffee cake (a Martha Stewart recipe) got 5 stars.

My dad:

He enjoyed it, although I think he thinks this is a weird old project. I actually don’t remember his star rating, but given he’s a savory person over a sweets person, I want to say he gave it three stars? Yes, let’s go with that. NOTE FROM TOM: Sadly not the case. Syd’s dad is the ultimate troll and so he gave it 2 out of 5 stars, just to be contrary and mark himself out as the Simon Cowell of the review.

Comments from Tom:

Kane knows what he’s doing when it comes to cake. I like red velvet cake, but it can be a bit heavy, especially with the usual cream cheese frosting can be a bit much. In a first for the WWF Cookbook, their version was actually a little lighter and the buttercream frosting was a nice alternative. What’s more, we finished the whole thing, which is always a good sign.

Tom’s star rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

And that’s it! One more recipe to go this weekend before we get into the full-on cookbook buffet for Wrestlemania! Tweet me @Sydneyb79 with your suggestions!

– Look out for another Wrestling With Food soon, or check the Wrestling With Food archives for a full rundown of all the recipes covered so far. In the meantime, you can follow Sydney on Twitter.