Wrestling With Food: “Classy” Cheesecake a la Classy Freddie Blassie

The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

Happy 4th of July, my American friends! So, it’s dessert time once again here at Wrestling With Food! For this edition, I selected Classy Freddy Blassie’s “Classy” Cheesecake.

You know, whenever they put something in quotations, I’m led to believe it is the opposite of what they are saying, but you know what? This was a classy-ass cheesecake. Let’s get going!

The ingredients:

The crust

1 cup graham cracker crumbs

¼ cup coarsely chopped walnuts

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened.

The filling

2 cups sour cream

3 (8 oz) packages cream cheese, at room temperature

3 eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup granulated sugar

½ teaspoon salt

2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Zest of 1 small orange, finely grated

The process:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Let me, once again, tell you how grateful I am that we have use of a stove that heats evenly and also lets you know when the oven is ready. It’s the little things, folks.

2. To make the crust, combine the graham cracker crumbs, walnuts, brown sugar, and cinnamon.

Add the butter and toss to combine.

I’ll tell you right now, the combo of the butter, cinnamon and graham crackers smelled so good, I probably could have just spooned the crust in my mouth like some kind of animal.

3. Reserve 3 tablespoons of the graham cracker mixture for the top of the cheesecake (SPOILERS: Forgot to do this. OOOPS), and press the rest evenly across the bottom and 1½ inches up the side of a 9-inch pie plate. (FURTHER SPOILERS: I didn’t have a 9-inch pie plate at hand, so I used my springform, so the cake had a thick crust but no sides. C’est la vie, as Steve Blackman says).

4. To make the filling, blend the sour cream, cream cheese, eggs, granulated sugar, and salt in a food processor or blender until very smooth. Add the vanilla and orange zest and process just enough to blend. (EVEN FURTHER SPOILERS: I could not find the lid to our blender so I just used the mixer. I don’t recommend a mixer, the blender would have been better.)

I looked at my phone for the picture of the mixture to show you guys, and realized that I forgot to take any at this stage. I can tell you that it was a little lumpy looking, and I was worried about how this would turn out, until I said to my brother (we were on the phone) “Fuck it, I’m going to see what happens when it’s baking”.

Anyway, in place of that picture, please enjoy one of my new The Crow action figure! It’s proof that you can only joke about desperately wanting a doll of that most ’90s of action heroes so many times before your spouse calls your bluff and gets you it.

5. Add the filling to the pie crust, and bake for 50 minutes.

TIPS: If you ARE using a springform pan, wrap the bottom in foil or put on a baking sheet – the butter in the crust will melt and drip into the oven otherwise. I learned this at our old apartment when I attempted this one the first time, and our oven started smoking from the dripping butter and I had to junk the cheesecake entirely, lest I create a Classy Smokey Cheesecake. Very annoying.

6. Sprinkle the reserved topping over the cake and bake until the filling is firm, and the top is slightly golden, 10-15 minutes more.

(Note: That timing was about right – i’s a LOT of filling. As you can see from the picture below, I overcooked it by a few minutes, and also, it cracked. I haven’t mastered a non-cracking cheesecake yet, although the internet is full of tips. I just ignore them, cause it all tastes the same and God knows I don’t care about presentation!)

Cool completely and refrigerate until chilled. 

ET VOILA.

The verdict:

Me:

A good solid cheesecake! This one was a bit of work, as cheesecakes tend to be.

My star rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

My mom:

My mom was a particular fan of the crust, and in particular the walnuts in the crust. 

Her star rating: 5 out of 5 stars.

My dad:

He actually had nothing bad to say about the cheesecake, but he also likes to be contrary, so I was not going to see five stars out of this.

His star rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

Comments from Tom:

V. good stuff. I could taste the orange zest and the walnuts in the crust, and it was a little lighter than store bought cheesecakes I’ve had.

Tom’s star rating: 4½ out of 5 stars.

That’s it for now–stay tuned for our next selection. Will I pour beer into the cavities of chickens, or will I skin small dogs? Tweet me @Sydneyb79 with your comments or suggestions for any future recipes!

– Look out for another Wrestling With Food soon, or check the Wrestling With Food archives for a full rundown of all the recipes covered so far. In the meantime, you can follow Sydney on Twitter.