• Tag Archives: WWF

    The Merch Table: WWF Spring/Summer 1992 Catalog Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every so often, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this time: WWF Spring/Summer 1992 Catalog Special.

    Hey, remember the ’90s? The clothes, the hair, what were we thinking?! I guess the cartoons were pretty good though. Anyway, terrible segues aside, one thing I remember about the ’90s is DESPERATELY wanting WWF merch but never being able to get it – sure, I had the action figures and the trading cards, but I wanted MORE and my main window into wrestling merchandise nirvana was the WWF catalog.

    The catalog came with every issue of the WWF magazine and I’ve managed to get a hold of one, thanks to good brother @AlexanderME. It’s the Spring/Summer 1992 edition, to be precise, and I’m proud to present to you some beautiful hi-res scans (or at least as hi-res as my mediocre scanner allows):

    Done wallowing in nostalgia? Cool, because now I’m going to make fun of all of it. LET’S GET STARTED.

    Hulk Hogan camera

    hulk-camera

    Oh, okay, so it’s a Hulk Hogan branded camera, that’s pretty simple, right? WRONG. Just check out the description:

    camera-disc

    “Hulk Hogan will appear on every photo you take!” Wait… what? I’m pretty sure that’s the plot of, like, three Japanese horror films. Why would you want to welcome such demonic witchcraft into your life for £11 (plus shipping and handling)?

    Hulk Hogan hand-cut t-shirt

    hogan-shirt

    Apparently, this is ‘hand-cut’, which is complete BULLSHIT – every true Hulkamaniac knows that the Hulkster used his bare hands to tear his shirts into whatever style he saw fit, he wouldn’t need to cut them.

    Hulk Hogan workout bear

    hulk-teddy

    What makes him a workout bear?

    teddy-disc

    Oh, of course, his workout wear. The workout bear in his workout wear / here to pump some iron like he just don’t care / flexing his muscles so you stop and stare / don’t come at him, bro, you ain’t got a prayer. (“The Workout Bear Rap”, Wrestling On Earth Records, 2014). Continue reading

    This Or That (3/17/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation! Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Will Daniel Bryan leave Wrestlemania 30 as WWE Champion?

    YES– 88%, NO – 12%

    Better Wrestlemania match for The Shield?

    Staying together for a team match – 63%, Break up for a triple threat match – 37%

    Which Young Buck do you have a bigger man crush on?

    Matt Jackson – 64%, Nick Jackson – 36%

    Better TV nerd?

    Urkel – 71%, Screech – 29%

    More exciting concept in wrestling: Battle royals or tournaments?

    With the official “Andre The Giant Memorial” battle royal scheduled for Wrestlemania, which do you prefer? Battle royals like that and the Royal Rumble or one night tournaments like King of the Ring?

    battle-royale-tournament

    Tim:

    I love tournaments. They are one of my favorite things about pro wrestling. The ONLY battle royal-type match I have ever liked is The Royal Rumble. Usually battle royals seem thrown together and there just isn’t much hype surrounding them. I wish WWE would be consistent with The King of The Ring. Not saying it needs to happen every year but maybe do it every two or three years and hype it like that.

    Tournaments

    typicalROHfan:

    The Royal Rumble is my favorite event of the year for the match and I love battle royals as a whole but I love the idea of tournaments even more. I greatly miss the King of the Ring PPV’s and always hope for more tournaments. Luckily there were a few last year with PWG’s traditional shows and ROH & TNA having vacant titles that were decided via tournaments.

    I also feel like I need to take the time to say FUCK YOU TO THE SURVIVOR SERIES 1998. Look at the results of that show. Count the future WWE Hall of Famers and legends. A one night tournament with all these great names, the hottest era of wrestling and a vacant title yet the show was abysmal. Between horrid booking and lackluster matches, the show is among my biggest disappointments in wrestling history!

    That being said, when done right, tournaments are my favorite. Who doesn’t love a good bracket?

    Tournaments

    Tom:

    This is a tricky question, because for the most part, I really don’t care for battle royal matches or tournaments in wrestling, with a couple notable exceptions in the Royal Rumble and PWG’s tournies. Battle royals are especially dreadful for the most part, since all the fun guys generally seem to get tossed within the first few minutes, leaving only the immobile slugs to rub up against each other.

    However, there’s a certain magic to the Royal Rumble that overrides how dreadful all the other battle royal matches generally are. Blame it on my terrible attention span – it’s much easier for me to stay focussed on something where there’s something new every 90 seconds, as opposed to a tournament where I’m expected to care for the same guys in multiple matches.

    Battle royals

    More exciting concept in wrestling?

    • Tournaments (79%, 33 Votes)
    • Battle royals (21%, 9 Votes)

    Total Voters: 42

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    Top 10 Worst Wrestling PPV Posters

    With the WWE Network debuting Monday, one of the first things to stand out is seeing icon images of all the wrestling PPV posters over the years all lined up together in the PPV archive section.

    The bad, the very bad and the ugly, here are the top 10 worst wrestling PPV posters of all time:

    10. Great American Bash 1996

    ppvposter1

    Many people have this as the worst but there’s a certain charm to Bobby Heenan and Mean Gene having a cook-out that represents the mid 90’s in wrestling. The WCW-shaped meat is what’s most terrifying here. Also, Bobby Heenan does not seem to be wearing pants.

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    Seven Things: 7 Mount Rushmores of Wrestling

    Welcome to Seven Things, a list that will run weekly and consist of very eclectic topics. These are of my opinions and doesn’t express the views of others on WrestlingOnEarth.

    With President’s Day being yesterday, I decided to go with a somewhat relevant topic. To add fuel to the timely fire, LeBron James recently mentioned his “Mount Rushmore” of the NBA and it led to a lot of debate. It made me wonder who would be The Mount Rushmore of wrestling. The wrestling curiosity I own made me take it further and wonder who would be The Mount Rushmore of each promotion I’ve followed closely in my life which led to a more enjoyable thought process. We go in depth to see who The Mount Rushmore of WWE, WCW, ECW, TNA, ROH and more each would be. Feel free to give your answers in the comments or send them to me on Twitter.

    Reminder: If you have any suggestions for future lists, feel free to share them in the comments or send them to me on Twitter: @typicalROHfan.

    7. The Mount Rushmore of The Mount Rushmores of Wrestling: Kevin Steen, The Young Bucks and Adam Cole

    rushmore-pwg

    Okay! First off, they used the name before all these Mount Rushmore conversations started happening so they get first priority. Coincidentally, they happen to collectively and separately be among the best things in wrestling right now. Just watch the video. I promise it’s lovely.

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    The Merch Table: WWF Cookbook Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: WWF COOKBOOK SPECIAL.

    wwf-cookbook-cover

    ‘Can You Take the Heat? The WWF Is Cooking!’ by Jim ‘JR’ Ross and the WWF Superstars is one of those relics of the Attitude Era that could only been made during the most popular and ridiculous period in the history of the wrestling industry.

    That’s not to say a wrestling-themed cookbook isn’t a fun concept, but ‘Can You Take the Heat? The WWF Is Coo… look, I’m just going to call it the WWF Cookbook from now on, that title’s ridiculous. Anyway, it’s a fun concept but not only does this have each recipe themed to individual wrestlers, it takes the extra step and pretends that the wrestlers themselves actually came up with the recipes.

    It’s as crazy as it sounds, and since it’s kind of slipped through the cracks of merch history, I think it’s high time it was highlighted. LET’S GET STARTED. Continue reading

    The Merch Table: Commercials Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: COMMERCIALS SPECIAL.

    Commercials for wrestling merchandise are often more interesting than the products they’re meant to be advertising, especially when the wrestlers are starring in them – when you get wrestlers doing anything but wrestle, you’re really rolling the dice.

    Obviously, the undisputed king of shilling merch is and always will be Don West. I haven’t featured him in this column, if only because a) it’d make all the others look terrible in comparison and b) his merch-selling masterpieces tend to be, like, 12 minutes long. With that disclaimer out the way, LET’S GET STARTED.

    WWF catalog commercial, starring Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire

    This is the BEST. I could watch Dusty sell anything – anyone who’s not in the market for an ‘Ultimate Warrior SUHCK CUHP’ after watching this is DEAD inside.

    His dynamic with Sapphire is also something that makes me laugh every time – he’s clearly frustrated by her being completely clueless, but he’s so locked into the happy-go-lucky Dusty character that it’s just bubbling under the surface. Continue reading

    Seven Things: 7 Misconceptions About The Monday Night Wars

    Welcome to Seven Things, a list that will run weekly and consist of very eclectic topics. These are of my opinions and doesn’t express the views of others on WrestlingOnEarth.

    This week’s edition is taking it back to the late 90’s. The most popular time frame for pro wrestling was the late 90’s and early 00’s due to the Monday Night Wars of WCW Nitro and WWF Raw being red hot television programs.

    Larger than life characters and awe-inspiring athleticism mixed for a time that the culture and society was most ready to accept pro wrestling as an art form and top dollar entertainment option. As the years go by, legacies, mindsets, theories and agendas are passed on as fact and become more matter of fact. I’m going to tackle (or Spear) some of these head on with what I consider to be popular misconceptions about the Monday Night Wars.

    7. The unmasking of Rey Mysterio killed his WCW career.

    rey

    The popular opinion is that WCW buried Rey Mysterio Jr. by having Kevin Nash beat him, stripping his mask away and leaving him for dead. While the premise of unmasking Rey was a foolish idea, it was followed with a big push. Right after that, unmasked Rey defeated Nash cleanly on Nitro in one of the biggest upsets at the time. After that, he defeated bigger and relevant wrestlers like Bam Bam Bigelow and Scott Norton cleanly.

    A few weeks after, he had a main event title shot on Nitro on one of the Spring Break shows vs. champion Ric Flair. He was portrayed as the better man as Flair’s rogue referee Charles Robinson ended the match before Rey could get the pin. I really wonder what would have happened in a world with Mysterio winning the title here.

    If anything, the signing of Master P and WCW putting him in a team with Konnan that failed due to the WCW audience not liking the No Limit Soldiers slowed his progression down for good. While not something I liked or understand the logic behind, the unmasking wasn’t what did Rey in.

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    The Merch Table: Halloween Special (Part 1)

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (PART 1).

    Everybody loves Halloween, especially wrestling fans! But how are you supposed to dress as your favourite in-ring competitor when all most of them wear is a tiny pair of spandex panties? You ain’t got the body to pull that off, and brother, it’s COLD outside.

    The easiest solution is to just go as Cena (t-shirt, jorts, buzzcut) or Punk (t-shirt, basketball shorts, magic marker tattoo sleeves) but if you want to try something else, then wrestling companies are there to help, with all sorts of costume ideas! And by ‘all sorts of costume ideas’, I mostly mean ‘really horrific vinyl masks’! I’ve run out of ideas got a lot of love for Halloween, so this’ll be a two parter. LET’S GET STARTED.

    Goldberg mask

    goldberg1

    RIGHT, jumping straight into the deep end this week. There’s something to be said for how (relatively) lifelike this is, assuming it’s a version of Big Bill from his period spent being tortured in the fifth layer of hell.  Maybe it looks a little less horrific from another angle though:

    goldberg2

    THAT ISN’T BETTER. Maybe from a side-on perspective?

    goldberg3

    NO. Okay, one last try, maybe it won’t be terrifying if we zoom in a little?

    goldberg4

    FORGET IT. Continue reading

    The Merch Table: Attitude Era Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: ATTITUDE ERA SPECIAL.

    First off:

    Oh man that felt good. Anyway, WWF’s Attitude Era was a strange time. It was the most popular the company’s ever been, which brought with it a tidal wave of merchandise.

    However, even though the product was raunchier and more ‘adult’, who were they expecting to buy most of this merch? Kids, of course! Stupid kids and their deep-pocketed parents. As a result, you wound up with a lot of merchandise that was really weird / borderline inappropriate / just completely gross. LET’S GET STARTED.

    Sable Beanie Bear

    Hey, remember the beanie bear craze? No-one could ever accuse the WWF of not shamelessly jumping on whatever pop culture bandwagon was hot at the moment, which is why they shipped this out to toy stores everywhere:

    sable-bear

    That’s right, a Sable beanie bear, complete with boob hand-prints.

    Looking at this feels really weird. Like, a regular action figure of Sable in her boob hand-print ‘outfit’ would be gross, but at least it wouldn’t be grinding up and down the line between innocent and inappropriate like this does. Who is this for? WHO IS MEANT TO BUY THIS? ATTITUDE ERA, COME ON MAN.

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