Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

Every so often, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this time: TNA Summer Special.

I’ve covered TNA on The Merch Table a few times before (here, here and here, in case you were curious), but I keep coming back to them. They’re just so much more interesting than WWE!

For one, while WWE merch generally seems like it’s been focus grouped and market-tested to the point that it’s all broadly acceptable and boring as fuck, TNA stuff comes across as completely unsupervised. What’s more, they have unmoderated reviews for pretty much every single piece of merch, which adds another delicious dash of madness to everything. LET’S GET STARTED.

Samuel Shaw t-shirt

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT ANYONE SHOULD BE WEARING, LEAST OF ALL WRESTLING FANS. Let’s see what the reviews have to say!

Remy, are you talking from some experience here? Can we confirm Remy as a REAL creepy bastard?!?! Regardless, I think I can concur with him: WORSE. SHIRT. EVER.

Willow umbrella

God bless Jeff Hardy for convincing a company to let him run around as his high school art project on national television, and God bless TNA for trying to sell an umbrella for $40. Unsurprisingly, the response has been a little mixed:

“Dudes make money off ass holes” THAT’S CALLED CAPITALISM BROTHER, FUCK OFF BACK TO RUSSIA IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT.

Honestly, I can’t see “be triangular” taking off as a catchphrase, but bless him for trying.

“Titantium or something that will last for centuries”, mate, sit down. Continue reading →