• Tag Archives: Stone Cold

    This Or That (11/26/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Was the Montreal Screwjob a work?

    No – 87%, Yes – 13%

    Better original WWE PPV theme?

    King of the Ring tournament – 60%, Survivor Series elimination matches – 40%

    Better Survivor Series MSG event?

    2002 – 67%, 1996 – 33%

    Superior fruit?

    Bananas – 52%, Apples – 48%

    Who would you rather see face Triple H at Wrestlemania 31: The Rock or Sting?

    Who should play THE GAME at Wrestlemania 31?

    rock-sting

    Tim:

    I don’t think either match-up would be anything to write home about. The Rock didn’t impress me with any of his return matches and his promos make me dislike him so much. I am all for Sting vs Triple H in this scenario. It’s something different and I’m curious as to the direction they will go. I think Sting deserves a Wrestlemania retirement match and if not Undertaker I can settle for Triple H who is on top of his game this year.

    Sting

    Joey:

    I’d much rather get The Rock vs. Triple H for the build. The Rock tries really hard to bring the “reality era” to his feuds when he returns as seen in his promos vs. CM Punk and John Cena. It didn’t work out too well but likely would be more suited for someone like Triple H given their past rivalry. I’d enjoy getting a kick out of the two having one more match. Sting and Triple H have no history and I’m not sure I trust the current WWE team to make up for them that makes sense.

    The Rock

    Tom:

    It’s really hard to know how to place Sting at Wrestlemania. A match with Triple H seems most likely, but even if I’m fantasy booking something completely different, I can’t think of too many options that are more appealing. Undertaker, I guess? Though mostly for the entrances. Something with almost any of the younger guys would feel REALLY weird and there aren’t too many older guys left for him to roll around with.

    Even so though, him and Triple H seem like an odd fit whereas I think The Rock and Triple H could be a decently fun time. There’s a lot of history to play on and I think the two are both pretty bulletproof as far as their positions go, so they can throw as many mean barbs back and forth without it leaving any lasting damage. UNLEASH THE HEAVY SHOTS, SURE HOPE THEY DESERVE THEM.

    The Rock

    This poll is closed! Poll activity:
    start_date 26-11-2014 20:59:47
    end_date 30-11-2014 23:59:59
    Poll Results:
    -

    Continue reading

    The Merch Table: Foam Finger Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: FOAM FINGER SPECIAL.

    There’s no item of wrestling merchandise that’s rendered so immediately useless once you leave the arena quite like a foam finger. Think about it; while you might not be waving your Joseph Park rally towel once you leave a show, it can still become a serviceable face towel or dish cloth when you get home. DX glow sticks come close to being as worthless, but at least they might come in handy if you’ve got plans to go to a rave later that evening.

    A foam finger though? Well, short of being used by Miley Cyrus for entirely unseemly purposes (OH SNAP, TOPICAL REFERENCE), there’s really not much you can do with it unless you’re actually at the show.

    However, that gives foam fingers a certain pointless purity that I admire as a professional merchologist, so I think it’s worth looking back at some of the best (but mostly worst) foam fingers in wrestling history. LET’S GET STARTED.

    Hulk Hogan foam finger, torso and ear

    Hoganfinger

    This is almost a fun little microcosm of the differences between WWF and WCW way back when. Above, you see the Hulk Hogan foam finger that WWF sold. Pretty much what you’d expect, right? Yellow and red, ‘#1’ on the finger, Hulkamania on the palm. Simple but classic

    However, once Hulk jumped ship to WCW, they started producing their own foam novelties for the Hulkster and… well, this is what happened:

    hulk-pose

    Your first option was a foam representation of Hulk’s torso, so you could stick your hand up inside him and pretend you’re a twisted giant who likes to tear professional wrestlers in two and use the top half for puppet shows. It’s nothing on the second option though:

    hulk-ear

    That’s right, it’s a giant disembodied ear and hand that looks COMPLETELY UNSETTLING. Whenever there was an option to mess with a working formula to make things terrible, WCW took it, and that’s why we miss them. Continue reading

    The Merch Table: Attitude Era Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: ATTITUDE ERA SPECIAL.

    First off:

    Oh man that felt good. Anyway, WWF’s Attitude Era was a strange time. It was the most popular the company’s ever been, which brought with it a tidal wave of merchandise.

    However, even though the product was raunchier and more ‘adult’, who were they expecting to buy most of this merch? Kids, of course! Stupid kids and their deep-pocketed parents. As a result, you wound up with a lot of merchandise that was really weird / borderline inappropriate / just completely gross. LET’S GET STARTED.

    Sable Beanie Bear

    Hey, remember the beanie bear craze? No-one could ever accuse the WWF of not shamelessly jumping on whatever pop culture bandwagon was hot at the moment, which is why they shipped this out to toy stores everywhere:

    sable-bear

    That’s right, a Sable beanie bear, complete with boob hand-prints.

    Looking at this feels really weird. Like, a regular action figure of Sable in her boob hand-print ‘outfit’ would be gross, but at least it wouldn’t be grinding up and down the line between innocent and inappropriate like this does. Who is this for? WHO IS MEANT TO BUY THIS? ATTITUDE ERA, COME ON MAN.

    Continue reading