• Tag Archives: Hulk Hogan

    The Merch Table: WWF Spring/Summer 1992 Catalog Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every so often, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this time: WWF Spring/Summer 1992 Catalog Special.

    Hey, remember the ’90s? The clothes, the hair, what were we thinking?! I guess the cartoons were pretty good though. Anyway, terrible segues aside, one thing I remember about the ’90s is DESPERATELY wanting WWF merch but never being able to get it – sure, I had the action figures and the trading cards, but I wanted MORE and my main window into wrestling merchandise nirvana was the WWF catalog.

    The catalog came with every issue of the WWF magazine and I’ve managed to get a hold of one, thanks to good brother @AlexanderME. It’s the Spring/Summer 1992 edition, to be precise, and I’m proud to present to you some beautiful hi-res scans (or at least as hi-res as my mediocre scanner allows):

    Done wallowing in nostalgia? Cool, because now I’m going to make fun of all of it. LET’S GET STARTED.

    Hulk Hogan camera

    hulk-camera

    Oh, okay, so it’s a Hulk Hogan branded camera, that’s pretty simple, right? WRONG. Just check out the description:

    camera-disc

    “Hulk Hogan will appear on every photo you take!” Wait… what? I’m pretty sure that’s the plot of, like, three Japanese horror films. Why would you want to welcome such demonic witchcraft into your life for £11 (plus shipping and handling)?

    Hulk Hogan hand-cut t-shirt

    hogan-shirt

    Apparently, this is ‘hand-cut’, which is complete BULLSHIT – every true Hulkamaniac knows that the Hulkster used his bare hands to tear his shirts into whatever style he saw fit, he wouldn’t need to cut them.

    Hulk Hogan workout bear

    hulk-teddy

    What makes him a workout bear?

    teddy-disc

    Oh, of course, his workout wear. The workout bear in his workout wear / here to pump some iron like he just don’t care / flexing his muscles so you stop and stare / don’t come at him, bro, you ain’t got a prayer. (“The Workout Bear Rap”, Wrestling On Earth Records, 2014). Continue reading

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Howdy. Sit back and enjoy the reveal of The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    Here we are again and I will just come and out say it. What were you all thinking with this week’s vote winner? I had to recount three times to make sure I didn’t count them wrong. Whatever. Let’s just get to revealing it. I’m just very confused.

    HukHoganswotw

    I found this picture of Hogan hanging out on the Raw set before he as even signed to come back. Oh, yeah… did I mention that YOU ALL MADE THIS HAPPEN. Hulk Hogan is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. I never thought I would say this but… democracy has failed us.

    This Or That (2/17/2014)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Better Hall of Fame choice?

    Jake Roberts – 57%, Ultimate Warrior – 43%

    More likely to make an in ring appearance at Wrestlemania 30?

    Sting – 59%, CM Punk – 41%

    More likely to be WWE World Champ again in 2014?

    Dolph Ziggler – 68%, The Miz – 32%

    Better video game series?

    Super Mario Bros – 93%, Sonic The Hedgehog – 7% (Largest margin of victory in This Or That history)

    Who will be WWE Champion by the end of Elimination Chamber: Randy Orton or the field?

    Who do you think leaves the PPV as champ – Orton or anyone else on the roster?

    chamber

    Tim:

    I don’t think Randy Orton should lose the belt at the last PPV before Wrestlemania and I do not think he will. He hasn’t been a very strong champion anyway, but I still think they need to wait until Wrestlemania 30 to take it off of him this late in the game and I’m guessing that is what they will do.

    Randy Orton

    typicalROHfan:

    Sad to admit but my interest is growing in the Elimination Chamber match due to a couple of rumors being out there that plans are changing for Wrestlemania and Orton is dropping the belt. I surely hope that’s an accurate rumor for the betterment of my personal entertainment. Orton’s had some impressive in ring work the last few weeks but it just seems so irrelevant whenever he’s in a top tier feud. Seeing it with Batista of all people going into the 30th Wrestlemania just seems unfathomable.

    Perhaps it’s false hope but I think the title is changing hands. No shot Christian, Sheamus, Cesaro win. John Cena is highly unlikely. The field gives me other options too like a Batista early heel turn/cash in shades of 2010, Brock Lesnar stealing a spot and winning shades of 2009 or Daniel Bryan winning the title to go into Wrestlemania as champ. I think these scenarios are equally as likely as Orton somehow going into the Wrestlemania show as champion given the last month.

    The Field (not to be confused with The Shield)

    Tom:

    Given the reaction the Royal Rumble received, I’d guess that making Elimination Chamber a home-run has become a high priority for WWE, especially since the Network is launching the night after. I don’t honestly believe that Orton leaving the PPV with the belt will affect the number of people subscribing the Network, but… well, having people enthusiastic about your product on the day of such a big launch is probably preferable to them declaring it as THE DAY THAT WRESTLING DIED™.

    Really, having Bryan win the Chamber match and go on to face Batista at Wrestlemania is probably what everyone’s hoping for, myself included. As far as how likely it is… well, I know WWE’s not always quick to go back on their plans, but Big Dave’s always been more fun as a heel than a face and I think he’d be more comfortable in that role. What’s more, even if The Man Who Will Be Drax The Destroyer needs to be face for the release of Guardians of the Galaxy, that’s still a few months away and I think turning him back will be easy enough – just have him powerbomb Miz off the stage and you’re all set!

    FOXTROT-INDIGO-ECHO-LIMA-DELTA, Field

    Who will be WWE Champion by the end of Elimination Chamber?

    • Randy Orton (56%, 20 Votes)
    • Anyone else (44%, 16 Votes)

    Total Voters: 36

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    The Merch Table: Highspots Ultimate Novelty Item Grab-Bag Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: HIGHSPOTS ULTIMATE NOVELTY ITEM GRAB-BAG SPECIAL.

    As mentioned in a previous Merch Table, we love Highspots. It’s really easy to lose half an hour just clicking through their site and looking at all the wacky merch from days gone by but there’s always been one thing on their site that stands out above all the others – their ‘ultimate novelty item grab-bag‘.

    After the fun I had with the TNA brown bag special, I was ready for another challenge to test my abilities as the Internet’s foremost merchologist. However, I really wasn’t prepared for the sheer volume of stuff Highspots would send – seriously, check it out:

    highspots-crap

    How am I even meant to tackle that? It took a lot of thought, but ultimately, it seemed like the best way to hold onto my sanity was to follow the example of Dante and descend into my own personal Inferno. With that in mind, join me now as I take a journey through The Nine Circles of MerchLET’S GET STARTED.

    First Circle of Merch: VHS tapes

    wrestlemania-vhs

    Okay, we’re off to a shaky start, since I have literally no way of watching this. As a result, it’ll remain suspended in its plastic wrapping for eternity (or at least until I offload it on an unsuspecting Goodwill store).

    If I was going to really go with the whole Dante’s Inferno metaphor, then this’d make for the perfect ‘limbo’… but look, that’s too much work, so forget it. Just forget it.

    Second Circle of Merch: Back-to-School supplies

    Everything you’d need to cement yourself as ‘that creepy wrestling kid’ in the new school year, including:

    ya-dumb-sumbitch

    A Stone Cold Steve Austin notepad with a wacky lenticular thing on the front so you can see Steve Austin’s face turn into a SPOOOOOOOKY SKULL YA DUMB SUMBITCH.

    hhh-folder

    A Triple H folder, perfect for holding your notes on which guys aren’t ready, as well as a fifty page dissertation on how that one match with Randy Orton was actually a really worthy Wrestlemania main event.

    wolfpac

    Two nWo Wolfpac pencils, which could double as chopsticks, should you need to show your allegiance to the red and black while eating sushi. Spicy tuna rolls f-f-f-f-f-for life.
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    The Worst Back Tattoos in Wrestling

    In his WWE documentary, CM Punk stated that he “feels sorry for anyone who doesn’t have tattoos”. Here are some reasons why this is a silly thing to say, with evidence of some truly regrettable tattoos sourced from the backs of his fellow wrestlers.

    PLEASE NOTE: We’re only looking at terrible back tattoos here, so shut up about Batista’s belly button.

    1. Matt Morgan

    matt-morgan

    “Hi, I’d like a scary monster face tattooed on my back, please. Kind of like Brock Lesnar’s, but worse.”

    “Absolutely! How much worse than Brock’s do you want it to be?”

    “Much, MUCH worse.”

    “Of course – maybe if we made it look like the half-finished doodles of an angsty teenager, how does that sound?”

    “PERFECT.” Continue reading

    This Or That: 11/04/2013

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over five questions, @TimWelcomed@typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation! #BRANDING

    More likely to get a singles match at Wrestlemania 30: Dolph Ziggler or Hulk Hogan?

    Despite being in his physical prime, Ziggler’s mostly been buried on the undercard after a (very) brief World Heavyweight Title run. Meanwhile, while The Hulkster might be barely able to move, he’s still making noise about a WWE return. Who is more likely to get a singles match at Wrestlemania 30?

    ziggler-hogan

    Tim:

    I will put a little faith out there and say that Dolph Ziggler will, at the most, be on the Wrestlemania pre-show. Hogan, however, will most likely be on the main card in some capacity. I’ll even say he’s more likely to wrestle a match on the main card than Dolph Ziggler.

    Best case scenario, I’m completely wrong and Hogan will just be a special guest referee that calls it down the middle in the rumored title unification match and Ziggler will have a match against someone worthwhile. This is way better.

    Hulk Hogan

    typicalROHfan:

    Fans discussing wrestling online tend to confuse the term “buried” with “the wrestler I like lost a match” often but when it comes to Dolph Ziggler, this instance DOES seem like a case of someone being buried. Based off the way they’ve booked him even when he was being pushed vs. Cena in early 2013, Ziggler just never seemed to be a guy WWE believes in. One month in, newcomer Big E. Langston was presented as being of equal stature of Ziggler. That said a lot to me about WWE’s outlook of what Ziggler is.

    On the the other end, this is Wrestlemania 30 so the show has to be even more special than usual. There’s no doubt in my mind WWE wants Hogan on the show in some capacity. I think the safe bet is he beats up some heels in a non match setting making the save for someone shades of Wrestlemania 21 but if I had to pick one of the two, I’d think Hulk Hogan is much more likely to get a singles match than Ziggler.

    I do think Ziggler will be in a multi-person match or on the pre-show but can’t see him getting a singles angle going into Wrestlemania at all.

    Hulk Hogan

    Tom:

    Yeah, short of Ziggler getting a complete reboot or saving a member of the McMahon-Levesque clan from some kind of a natural disaster, I can’t imagine he’ll be in anything other than the multi-man tag match at Wrestlemania.

    Hogan’s a trickier one. It seems like a safe assumption that he wants back with the WWE, and I’m sure WWE would want to have him involved to (if the price is right). I’m not sure if he’s capable of having a match, but…. well, that’s probably not enough to stop him from trying. I assume his opponent would end up being someone like Heath Slater, picking up from where he left off from Raw 1,000 and continuing his streak of jobbing to legends.

    You never know though, given Ziggler’s current career trajectory, it could be him that goes down to the big boot in two and a half minutes at ‘Mania, rendering this question completely pointless!

    Hulk Hogan

    Who is more likely to get a singles match at Wrestlemania 30?

    • Dolph Ziggler (59%, 17 Votes)
    • Hulk Hogan (41%, 12 Votes)

    Total Voters: 29

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    Seven Things: 7 Wrestlers With A Midlife Crisis In Wrestling History

    Welcome to Seven Things, a weekly list that consists of very eclectic topics.

    This week, we’re going to take a glance at the list of some of your favorite pro wrestlers who have gone through or are still going through a midlife crisis before our very eyes. The plight of the midlife crisis happens to the best of us but much like most entertainment industries, egos run prevalent in the world wrestling which just makes it more fun and frequent.

    7. Hulk Hogan

    hogan

    Perhaps the longest midlife crisis going, Hulk Hogan is currently 60 years old and has been going through his midlife crisis since the WCW days. Turning heel, Hulkster seemed way too happy to be the bad ass heel for the first time in his career as he was hitting his mid 40’s. You can argue the NWO groups were just groups of dudes going through a midlife crisis together while color coding black and white or red and black.

    Fast forward 15 years and Hogan is spotted wearing Affliction shirts daily and dating a woman more than 20 years younger than him that “coincidentally” happens to look like a doppelganger to Brooke Hogan. The Hogan Knows Best household went through a collective midlife crisis as ex wife Linda Hogan went on to date 20 year olds and write a “tell-all book.” The top bullet points on what to do when panicking upon the realization that you’re old. Continue reading

    The Merch Table: Wrestling Foods Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: WRESTLING FOODS SPECIAL.

    If there’s one thing wrestling fans like, it’s watching wrestling. Obviously. If there’s two things they like, it’s watching wrestling and buying shitty merch. And if there’s three things they like, it’s watching wrestling, buying shitty merch and stuffing their faces with terrible food. That might be a generalisation, but… look, I need an introduction to this column, so let’s just go with it, yeah?

    Sadly, wrestling branded food and drink isn’t as common as it once was, possibly because there are just too many rules these days about food having to be ‘edible’ and ‘definitely not harmful to children’. THANKS A LOT, OBAMA. Anyway, it’s a shame, since there used to be some fantastically insane stuff. LET’S GET STARTED.

    Hulk Hogan cake pan

    hulk-cakepan

    Yikes, that’s a lot of icing. I think it’s a fair assumption that a couple of slices of the Hulkster would send you into sugar shock, but type 2 diabetes is a small price to pay for taking a bite out of one of Hogan’s tasty pythons.

    Also, I spent a while searching for the Macho Man / Big Boss Man variations until I realised that you can make them all with the same pan! Check out the icing instructions below:

    wwf-cakepan-instructions

    The Boss Man’s never looked better than in cake form! Either he or Macho would also make the perfect dessert for my Dead Wrestler Banquet, but… look, that’s another feature for another time. *FORESHADOWING* Continue reading

    The Merch Table: Plush Toys Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: PLUSH TOYS SPECIAL.

    Plush interpretations of wrestlers have always been a bit troubling. These are big sweaty dudes who typically aren’t particularly cuddly or cute, so they’re generally not the best candidates to be made into plush forms (PLEASE NOTE, THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS).

    However, kids need merch so wrestling companies found a way to make plush toys, regardless of how unsuitable and horrific they are! LET’S GET STARTED.

    Val Venis teddy bear

    val1

    OH NO, VAL VENIS MERCH. As far as I can tell, the bear isn’t meant to be Val Venis, he’s just a wrestling bear who happens to be the number one Val fan. Also, he’s a champion of some description (UNSURE WHICH ONE BECAUSE THE FRONT OF THE BELT HAS RUBBED OFF, PLEASE DON’T ASK ME HOW IT RUBBED OFF, DON’T REALLY WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT).

    Anyway, long story short, this is why you never ever ever make Val Venis merchandise for kids:

    val2

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    Match of the Week: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting (WCW Fall Brawl 1999)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Hulk Hogan vs. Sting from WCW Fall Brawl 1999. @TJHawke411 joins site members @typicalROHfan and @TimWelcomed to give their (lack of) expertise on this classic.

    TJ Hawke comes to us from @Free_Wrestling and you can find our thoughts on another Hogan/Sting classic…..12 years later from TNA Bound For Glory over at FreeProWrestling.com

    Part 1: The match.

    StingHogan1

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