Welcome to the biggest event in the history of your life… until next week. It is time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! You’re ready. I know you are. I can see it in your eyes.
I’m back after a long week at The Sexy Convention ’14 and let me tell you, that Fabio guy is one hell of an air hockey player. I was majorly letdown by a plate of mashed potatoes not being able to make it because of international trade laws but he did get to appear at The Sexy Q&A Panel via satellite. He wore a zany tie and it was funny.
While I was there I learned of the newest technology for measuring sexy levels and how to count up to the number 150,000,000 so I’m pretty much a changed man. With this newest technique for counting your votes and the sexy levels of your nominees I can more precisely predict who should win this prestigious award.
I’ll go more in-depth with how this system works next week but I’m tired from my trip and I’m really excited to reveal this week’s winner. So without further ado…
Your Sexy Wrestler of The Week is Adam Cole! I think this winner does nothing but help prove that the new vote counting system is working. I’m glad it was worth it because I had to spend way too much money on a cauldron, litmus paper, and a few other important sexy level measuring devices. But like I said, I’ll explain all of that next week. For now we bathe in the presence Adam Cole’s return to the throne.