Sexy Wrestler of The Week

Let’s score a touchdown by naming The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

Hello, everyone. I’m sure you’re sitting there after watching the big game thinking “I could really use some wrestling content that somehow infused football into it.” As I’m sure no one else is putting those two things together I decided now is the perfect time to announce The Sexy Wrestler of The Week.

Okay… I’m sorry for GOING LONG. We won’t FUMBLE around any longer. I am really footballing this thing up. This is going to do wonders for the hits. Here’s who you voted for.

Wow! You must have been in the football spirit to vote special guest wrestler Kevin Greene as The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. I was a fan of the Carolina Panthers when I was young because they used my favorite shade of blue. I think my love of the color blue says a lot about me. Maybe that I’m cool and a little laid back. I love blue drinks and blueberry flavors. I find The Blue Man Group off-putting though but that’s more about my fear of DUMB SHIT.

Fuck The Blue Man Group. These dudes get together and just decide to cover songs using random objects while looking all mysterious. Yeah, buddy. I can take all of the pipes from Home Depot, pour water into them, and blow into them to make it sound like the theme song from Cheers too. Get a load of the absolute nerve these guys have. Call ’em The Boo Man Group because I ain’t having it!

Damn it. Anyway… I hope you all enjoyed the Super Bowl. This is the 49th one, right? I remember when there was only 31 of those things! I don’t know about you, but I enjoy the commercials more than the actual game! Have you seen those things? They really go all out.