Seven Things: 7 Wrestlers Better In Video Games Than Real Life

Welcome to Seven Things, a weekly list that consists of very eclectic topics.

This week we are doing things a little differently to celebrate the release of WWE 2K14. Instead of one person writing the list, each wrestler will be chosen by a site member or friend of the site.

With the world of video games expanding beyond belief as each year progresses, we’ve reached a point where many wrestlers are just more entertaining in video game form than they are on television. We try to pinpoint the best seven.

Before we hit the list, we have info on a free giveaway!

Want a free copy of WWE 2K14?

This contest is via our pals at PWIR. They are Iron Sheik approved:

Win a free copy of WWE 2K14 for the platform of your choice by checking out PWIR’s contest. You have until 9PM EST on 30 October, 2013 to enter. The contest will be held in the shoutbox at the top of the forum so make sure you sign up and post in that thread.

Now for the list, here are the 7 Wrestlers Better In Video Games Than Real Life.

Doink

Selected by the regular Seven Things writer @typicalROHfan.

My favorite wrestling video game is easily WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game and my favorite character was Doink. The roster for this game released in the mid-90’s were future Hall of Famers such as Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Bret Hart, Razor Ramon, Yokozuna, Bam Bam Bigelow, Lex Luger and then…….. Doink. Clearly overachieving with a gimmick cute for video games, Doink was the dude to play as.

The main sell is Doink’s powerful skill of clown tricks such as shocking his opponents with a joy buzzer or use inflated novelty hands to smack the competition. I’ll take those gimmicks over today’s improved graphics and over the top technology all day. Imagine if Doink were able to use those weapons on the show? Instant WWF champion material.

Please take time out of your day to watch this AMAZING video of Doink’s greatness. Thanks and good luck.

Goldberg

Chosen by Wrestling on Earth site member @TimWelcomed.

My favorite wrestler to play as in video games that is also not a wrestler I like to watch is Goldberg. Bill Goldberg if you’re nasty. I really do not find anything exciting about him as a wrestler besides the crowd reactions he used to get. The Jackhammer was a fun looking move, so there’s that. I remember the first time that I played WCW/NWO Revenge. I played as Sting a lot but then I started using Goldberg and never turned back. He has a fulfilling move-set being a quicker big guy. I think I played as him more than anyone in almost every game he has been in. Yes, even WCW/NWO Thunder. Those games were pitiful. I actually never played WCW Backstage Assault but I hear that’s a good thing.

The last game he was featured on was WWE Smackdown! Here Comes The Pain (my favorite WWE game ever)… well, that was true until today because he will be on WWE 2K14. I really contribute my using him so much to being able to spear people. He usually has my favorite spear animations in wrestling games.

Kane

Chosen by site member @TomBlackett.

Try and think of a good Kane singles match. Go on, I’ll wait.

Okay, what did you come up with? His debut match against Undertaker at Wrestlemania XIV? Come on. The Royal Rumble 2001? That doesn’t count! Seriously, you’re just proving my point for me, which is that Kane is NOT a fun wrestler to watch as a singles competitor.

However, in Wrestlemania 2000 for the N64, he was one of my favourite characters to play at. He had all the usual power moves you’d expect, but beyond that, he was quick to get to the top rope and hitting his clothesline from there was incredibly satisfying. What’s more, he had a really quick ‘glove adjustment’ taunt that made it very easy to fill up his special meter, making it easy to hit finisher after finisher.

I also have a lot of affection for him for all the time I spent playing tag matches as Kane and X-Pac. The two characters covered pretty much the entire spectrum of fun that could be had with the game, what with the kicks and the jumps and the chokeslams and so on. Videogames, right guys? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.

Big Daddy V

Chosen by perennial Wrestling On Earth man-crush @BradWardFGN.

Big Daddy V, who some may know as King Mabel or Viscera, was one of the largest wrestlers of all time. He was full of impact and was a spectacle of man mass. While he was entertaining, he was more fun then good to watch.

The sheer size of him didn’t make him the best for in ring action, but when it comes to video games. Just splashing and squashing into corners was endless fun. Especially when you picked the smallest guy possible and just throw him around like a rag doll. My favorite video game appearance of his was Smackdown vs. Raw when he wore purple pajamas.

R-Truth

Chosen by good friend of the site @SocksMahoney.

Very few people are universally groaned for whenever their theme song hits in the wide world of wrestling, and R-Truth is one of the very few contemporary stars to hold that esteem, alongside his former tag partner, Missionary Mike. The only real high points to Truth’s career was when he carried a football player to the tag titles who’s only spot was bleeding Dixie Carter dry, and also when he exploded (and was replaced with an exact duplicate the very next week). But perhaps the biggest quandary in R-Truth’s career is why he’s so damn fun to play in wrestling games.

Once he’s suddenly a video game, you get a character where you can spend most of your time breakdancing and mixing it up with his shockingly wide variety of different moves. Not to mention with the recent additions of wake up taunts and Arn Anderson’s sit-out gourdbuster these past few years, you can set up some really slick signature/finisher sequences. Not to mention, as silly of a move it is when he does it in real life, there’s hardly any satisfaction greater than when you hit someone with the Lie Detector, mostly because they usually hate themselves (and you) for getting hit with the Lie Detector. Also he has a 450 for some reason????? Considering the R-Truth we see once a month for his job to Wade Barrett or whoever is just a replicant of Ron Killing’s Past, perhaps WWE should just take the initiative and turn him into the first wrestler who’s actually just a hologram of his own CAW.

Jack Swagger

Chosen by Nick of @PWIROrg.

Suffering suckatash! What is he doing here? He’s the king pimp of WWE All-Stars. The diamond in the rough for THQ until they decided to cancel it because they wanted to put all their money in Mario Paint V2. Then they went nutzo and now they don’t exist.

Moving on to Jack Swagger, he snaps necks (ankles) and cashes checks. With a speech impediment. Its pretty puzzling why Swagger was the most powerful character in the game but nonetheless,  he definitely would be jobbing out to his video game counterpart.

Fred Durst

Chosen by the masked contributor.

Fred Durst was an unlockable character in Smackdown Just Bring It and he was definitely something to see. Rumor has it he would not allow THQ to use the Undertaker’s Rollin theme owned by Limp Bizkit unless he was in the game. Durst comes down to the ring in a really cool car and does a well choreographed dance number in the ring. THE CAR DRIVES ITSELF back as he does his dancing! This is what happens when you have (or cover) Faith?

Sure he wasn’t a wrestler but the fact that his character did moonsaults and wild flips makes that even better. Considering his contribution to wrestling being playing a part in Undertaker’s midlife crisis and flipping off WWE cameras, this is probably the best upgrade from real life WWE contributor to video game form.

If there was a “Better in video games than being musically gifted in real life” list, Fred Durst would take #1 easily.