Seven Things: 7 Worst Celebrities In Wrestling

Welcome to Seven Things, a list that will run weekly and consist of very eclectic topics. These are of my opinions and doesn’t express the views of others on WrestlingOnEarth.

Last week, I wrote about the Seven Best Celebrities In Wrestling, so it’s only fair I discuss the worst this week.

7. David Arquette

Putting the WCW Title on Arquette was one of the dumbest moves ever but it’s become really overblown when discussing the significance of it in wrestling history. You’d think WCW was in great shape, the wrestling industry was highly respected in society and the sanctity of world titles were honorable before this moment. This was just another terrible wrestling decision.

That being said, the use of David Arquette was god awful giving him a spot on this list. Winning the WCW Title in a weird stipulation match (vintage WCW) by pinning Eric Bischoff, Arquette became the champion.

He would go on to defend it in a triple cage match (a gimmick created in the WCW movie Arquette starred in: Ready To Rumble) vs. Jeff Jarrett and co-star/friend Diamond Dallas Page. Much like Page’s wife, neighbor and best friend during this feud, Arquette turned heel on him. It led to this awe-inspiring promo where Scott Hudson steals the show.

Related to David Arquette, we recently posted a “Where Are They Now?” special looking at the Ready To Rumble cast. Check it out.

6. Akebono

Aside from a terrible attraction at a Wrestlemania, we had to see Big Show’s ass because of this. Enough said.

5. Chucky

My favorite thing about Chucky’s WCW appearance running down Rick Steiner was Mean Gene replying to the doll with “Shut him up. Please! Give it a rest.” Mean Gene Okerlund was a man of the people. You’d assume the people behind the Chucky film paid handsomely for this but knowing my wrestling history, I’d bet Eric Bischoff paid the Chucky folks to have this segment air on Nitro.

Chucky threatens to hurt Rick Steiner because Scott Steiner is being featured in Chucky’s future movie. I rated Chucky a little higher (or lower depending on how you look at it) because he got us all excited about a Scott Steiner horror film appearance and never delivered!

4. Jay Leno

Two months after the Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman vs. DDP and Karl Malone match, WCW brought in Jay Leno for a Hogan and Eric Bischoff vs. DDP and Leno match. Celebs main event galore for WCW in the Summer of 1998. Why did I enjoy former angle but hate the latter?

I think athletes and the sports fan crossover are more likely to give new eyes to wrestling as opposed to some mainstream celebrities. Sure, Leno is a household name but most people watch his show….. to see other celebrities talk about their lives while being interview. Someone like Leno is also laughably limited in both believability and athleticism.

The most humorous thing about Jay Leno’s WCW appearance is that it took place at Road Wild, a show FREE to bikers. No one paid to attend the show and see the great Leno! Eric Bischoff wrestling fellow biker enthusiast Jay Leno in front of a group of drunk rednecks on motorcycles was Bischoff’s wet dream come to life.

Another hilarious facet is that you can list the few number of times Hulk Hogan lost a match in WCW and one of those, Jay Leno was the victor. Oof baboof.

3. Kevin Federline

Similar to the rare Hogan loss, John Cena losing a singles match is rare in the grand scheme of WWE. And one of the losses? Kevin Federline. Granted, it came from an Umaga attack on Cena but if memory serves correct, Umaga never even pinned Cena himself.

After a divorce with Britney Spears, Z list celebrity K-Fed was brought to RAW. When you bring in a low end celebrity, he/she should really be a part of something pointless like a backstage segment or a Zack Ryder feud. K-Fed was brought into the main event picture.

At Cyber Sunday 2006, Federline interfered in the Cena vs. Booker T vs. Big Show main event hitting Cena with the World title allowing Booker to pin him. I recall this show being among my low point in interest of wrestling fandom. No coincidence that K-Fed played a large part in the show.

Rumors say Federline had a great attitude backstage and WWE wanted to offer him a full time on air role in the company but he declined. Thank you, Kevin.

2. Pacman Jones

“He’s bad. He’s bad. Mr. Pacman. It’s Pacman Jones.” The lyrics to Pacman’s TNA theme song was quite accurate as he was quite bad.

With all the talent in the world as a NFL player picked 6th overall in the draft, Pacman Jones was known for two things. Being a terrible human being and getting arrested. Of course this meant TNA would sign him to a contract.

Pacman signed with TNA during one of his frequent NFL suspensions. Little did TNA know his NFL contract had a stipulation that prevented him taking part in the in-ring wrestling aspect of wrestling aka what TNA wanted. Not even TNA’s weird fascination with the Tennessee Titans could work around this.

Still, TNA pushed him in a tag team with R-Truth Ron Killings. Despite not wrestling, Jones managed to win the TNA tag titles by defeating Sting and Kurt Angle. Yes, Pacman Jones defeated the entire TNA Hall of Fame. Yes, Pacman Jones pinned Sting. Seriously. When his short contract ended, TNA decided to not renew him. I wonder why.

After this Pacman would go on to get arrested many more times and do many more horrible things. He’s currently on trial for assaulting a woman. Again.

1. Master P

Just about everything worked out in the worst case scenario for the Master P/WCW relationship. WCW wanted to get more viewers and Master P was quite popular at the time. Master P wanted a lot of money and his cousin Swoll to get an opportunity at his dream of being a pro wrestler. Sounds like a decent relationship in theory. The theory was wrong.

Eric Bischoff (with Ted Turner’s money bags) paid Master P about $200,000 per appearance and live music performance topping at near 1 million dollars. His impact on WCW? Non-existent.

To feud with Curt Hennig’s group of rednecks who hated rap music, WCW paired Rey Mysterio and Konnan with Master P and his group of No Limit Soliders. The Southern WCW fan base would mostly boo Master P and the faces due to their lack of an affection towards rap music. It turned from mostly boos to all boos when the No Limit Soldiers would outnumber the West Texas Rednecks and use bullying tactics as if they were the heels.

The angle ended an awesome Rey Mysterio Jr. run, provided bad television, embarrassed Master P and wasted a million dollars. In a hilarious clip, Eric Bischoff tries to imply WWF offered Master P three times the money but he turned it down. Nice try, Easy E.

Master P would stop appearing after a short month, Rey and Konnan ended their No Limit Soliders tie to form the Filthy Animals and Master P’s cousin Swoll would retire from pro wrestling two months later due to being “unable to hack the physical demands.” Hoody Hoo.

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