Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.
Part 1: The Match Begins
This begins with Edge acting as only Edge could. Edge uses Khali’s lack of speed against him to get the count-out victory. Then that noise that I have grown to forget strikes. Yes, the Anonymous Raw GM (Hornswaggle) has a message for us. He changes the match to an Over The Tope Rope challenge, because that’s fair. All I can think about is how bad I feel for Edge during all of this.
This was the time period in between the book ends of The Great Khali‘s classic runs. The former being the unbeatable monster who destroyed the Undertaker with ease before becoming World Champ and the latter being fartin’ Natalya‘s boyfriend.
Edge showing his Hall of Fame stature getting an entertaining match out of The Great Khali topping at about 52 seconds. Great match of the week! Thanks guys…. oh no. It’s re-starting! The anonymous Raw GM gives Khali another chance. The GM was revealed to be Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle is now Khali’s BFF. Did WWE use long term stories to devise the odd couple friendship? (No, they didn’t. They just wanted to pair together a tall Indian, a midget, and a farting Hart.)
Oh my God, I miss Edge so much. Here’s a guy who knew the circumstances he was in and did the best he could. There’s the old quote of ‘[insert great wrestler of your choice here] could have a good match with a broomstick’, and while that might be true for Edge, The Great Khali is no broomstick. A broomstick is at least somewhat mobile and can be tossed around and stuff, whereas poor Khali just moves… very slowly… and you can’t… do anything… with him. So, rather than getting straight to the grapple, Edge does an amazing job doing a hilarious (and sadly accurate!) impresssion of how The Punjabi Playboy (sigh) lumbers around.
Khali (despite having a big happy grin on his face as he watches Edge’s antics) chases after Edge and loses by count out. Edge looks so happy and pleased with himself at the victory but HEY, remember the anonymous general manager? That’s right, the one that was revealed to be Hornswoggle in a throwaway skit on Raw a couple years later. HA HA HA WE’VE WASTED OUR LIVES CARING ABOUT WRESTLING.
Seeking to right this injustice of one man winning legitimately, the GM restarts the match as an over-the-top-rope challenge. SPOILERS: This was a mistake!
Part 2: Over-The-Top Rope Challenge!
The match starts and Edge quickly slides under the ropes to get away. What does Khali do? Steps over the top rope to get Edge! I wish I could have heard Edge’s thoughts during this match. I bet they were great. I love how Michael Cole blurts out the obvious inconsistency of Khali stepping over the rope and not losing for it. King tries to save it but he’s not very good at commentary so this is a mess. Edge goes for the spear, spear, spear but Khali grabs him and send him over the second rope. At this point Khali puts his foot over the top rope as to get out of the ring, AGAIN but Edge grabs his leg and pulls him out anyway. The ref hesitates and then calls for the bell. I’m not sure this is how the match was planned to end. Edge wins and this Khali-induced awkward fest has met it’s end.
Michael Cole laughing at The Great Khali’s botch was great. This makes me ache for the days of Cole burying divas (yes, Kaval/Low Ki is counted as one of the divas) on NXT.
In fairness to Khali (not really), WWE changes around the rules of these kind of matches so often. For years, you would have to physically put your opponent through a table to win a Tables Match then randomly, Big Show lost the Intercontintental title by stepping on one.
I like to think Ranjin Singh become the head writer of RAW or Smackdown for a short time period, solely due to having to work with Khali every night.
Edge wins. Fun fact – I once owned an Edge skully winter type hat. I still do but can’t wear it without feeling like a complete tool. Thanks a lot, WWE marketing team.
“Can you still call it a six pack challenge if there’s only four?” ponders King. “I don’t know, ask the GM” replies sassy Michael Cole. Meanwhile, mathematicians everywhere scratch their heads.
After a minute or so of hot chest-slapping action, Edge scoots under the bottom rope and… Khali comes after him over the top rope. AND THE OVER-THE-TOP ROPE MATCH WHERE YOU LOSE IF YOU GO OVER THE TOP ROPE CARRIES ON.
King stooges it up to a RIDICULOUS degree, explaining that ‘you have to be thrown over’ while Michael Cole acts as the voice of reason for once. I wish so badly that there was an alternate audio feature on WWE shows so you could hear what Vince was screaming during this.
While the commentators bicker, Edge gets into his pre-spear pose in the corner. Thankfully, no-one chants ‘spear, spear, spear’ so we can feel a little better about ourselves. He misses it, gets tossed out, Khali steps over the top rope, Edge pulls him down… and okay, now it counts.
Edge rolls back into the ring as the victor and falls flat onto his back, exhausted by wrestling in 2010. Me too, man. Me too.