Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.
Part 1: The entrances.
The Bully, Brother Bubba Ray is in the ring being his normal self. He thinks there’s no one up to the task of going against The Dudleys. Well, he’s wrong. Sid Vicious is here and he’s jacked and ready to attack, brother. The crowd goes wild. This crowd always goes wild.
He gets in the ring and Bubba Ray throws a homophobic slur at him. Glad he nipped that in the bud after this. He would go on to never throw that word around again. Not really. The match begins.
Unnecessary swearing and blatant homophobia. This is E-C-Fucking W!
The thing I loved most about ECW fans were that they’d bury WWF and WCW relentlessly but when someone like Sid or Scott Hall appeared, they lost their minds cheering. Sid was probably clowned on for a lack of moves or botching promos yet they couldn’t cheer any louder for THE Master of the Universe.
Who is Judge Jeff Jones? Does it matter? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Anyone who brings Sid to ECW is a hero. The reaction he gets is insane and Sid’s first words in the promotion are monumental:
“There’s no man fucking tough enough?! There’s no fucking man bad enough?!
Bubba spits out some grotesque homophobia, before D-Von inadvertently buries his face in Sid’s monumental rack. It’s the classic fable of a gross bigot and his half-brother against a curly blonde haired goliath!
Part 2: The match begins!
The Dudleys have the upper hand over The Psycho One due to their two-on-one advantage early on. This doesn’t last long as Sid’s charismatic insanity brings him back to life leading to a double chokeslam. Devon sells it like his insides just exploded.
Eventually, Sid puts Devon on a stretcher but wait! Who’s that? It’s Brother Runt! That’s what he’s best known as, right? No? Okay. It’s Spike Dudley... and he’s attacking Bubba Ray in the ring. He climbs Bubba like a ladder. To just climb up someone is the most devastating maneuver in the biz. He knocks Devon and the stretcher over. Sid is clearly just taking his time with things at this point. He picks up the stretcher and smashes it over Devon (who, again, flops around like a fish out of water). This man is a MANIAC. Spike Dudley drops acid on Bubba Ray for the win.
The match starts and there’s MORE homophobia. The crowd is going wild rallying for Sid. Double choke slam by Sid but for some reason, he had a fixation with putting people on stretchers in ECW.
Spike Dudley comes around and messes up poor Sid’s stretcher set-up. Would Sid take this lightly?
Spike hits the Acid Drop (great finisher name) and then scores the pin. Your winners: Spike Dudley (and Sid?)
Adam Cole inviting other wrestlers to perform fellatio on him mid-match? AMAZING. Bubba Ray doing the same kind of thing? THE WORST. Little Spike Dudley shows up! I miss Spike, though he looks really unsettling with a mohawk or bald or however he has his hair these days.
I could watch Sid tossing a stretcher gurney around all day. Spike ultimately gets the pin, so now he and Sid will spend the rest of the video celebrating in the ring together like the best buds they are, right?
Part 3: The aftermath.
The match ends and we get Spike and Sid posing together but unfortunately, Sid is just too crazy to be friends with anyone. He powerbombs Spike. He then takes Spike to the outside and powerbombs him again, but this time it’s through a table off of the ramp. This cruel bastard.He don’t give an F about nothin’.
I meant to count how many times Sid raised his arms during this match. It seems like it happened a lot.
After kicking some ass, ECW icon Sid stands in the corner admiring his faithful fans and Spike enters the picture to share the spotlight. What does Sid do to glory hogs?
That’s right. POWERBOMB!
Uh oh. Sid just remembered Spike’s blatant disrespect to his neat stretcher set up. What does Sid do to disrespectful jerks?
That’s right. POWERBOMB OFF THE STAGE THROUGH A TABLE.
After destroying three ECW mainstays, Sid goes on the rope and demands the fans stop chanting “E-C-Dub” and start chanting “SID!” A top 10 moment in wrestling history for me. Thank you, Sid. Thank you, Paul Heyman. Thank you, God.
Spike fails to respect Sid’s personal space and gets the treatment he deserves: a powerbomb.
That’s not enough though. Sid had been going through some serious therapy before this to get over his issues with being touched, and Spike’s just set his progress back MONTHS! Those appointments aren’t cheap, and Sid’s rightly furious. So, the only way for him to get the vengeance he so richly deserves is through powerbombing Spike off the stage and through a table.
What follows is really beautiful and testament to what it means to be a WORKER, brother. Sid manages to get the ECW fans to cough up their Kool-Aid for a few minutes and chant ‘SID’ rather than ‘EEE-CEE-DUB’. It’s INCREDIBLE, watching Sid just conduct them and raise his arms and bask in it all. He truly is The Master and Ruler of the World.
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