• Match of the Week: Sharmell vs. Jenna Morasca (Victory Road 2009)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Sharmell vs. Jenna Morasca from Victory Road 2009. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the greatness, with @TJHawke joining in the fun. He runs  Free Pro Wrestling which, unsurprisingly, features some great (and FREE!) pro wrestling matches for you to watch!

    Sharmell vs. Jenna Morasca (Victory Road 2009)

    Part 1: The Introductions

    tna-intro

    Tim:

    I haven’t seen this match since it originally aired but within a few seconds of Sharmell’s entrance I began to have haunting flashbacks of that night. I’m sitting here in my chair, powerless, and drenched in a cold sweat.

    Don West’s magnificent commentary echoing through my brain. Sharmell’s decision to wrestle in a big blue trash bag is the best heel move ever. Jenna Morasca’s entrance was “awkward girl trying to be sexy.” I feel like someone should’ve called her parents.

    typicalROHfan:

    Another Match of the Week, another reminder I miss Don West. He’s trying to sell the importance of this match. His magic selling skills isn’t working as well here as it does with his brown bag special promos.

    Sharmell is quite proud of her Main Event Mafia jacket. Jenna Morasca’s music is fantastic. True shameful real life fact: I’ve looked this song up at one point in time on YouTube. Can you blame me? It’s so damn catchy!

    I imagine Velvet Sky was not too pleased when seeing Jenna debut her sexified ring entrance. Between her song and pink + black Nike sneakers, Jenna is winning me over!

    Tom:

    Man, it’s almost a little intimidating to have to give any thoughts on this match, it’s kind of the Citizen Kane of bad matches.

    I don’t really know who Jenna Morasca is. Some kind of reality TV show star? I don’t know what she’s doing in TNA though.

    Mike Tenay isn’t much help, explaining that “Jenna Morasca’s got all those millions – from her investments as well as the Survivor TV show.” Yeah, okay Mike. If you say so.

    Jenna Morasca entrance theme lyrics

    I will, I will survive.
    I’m gonna make it.
    Cus I can take it.

    (REPEAT)

    This ain’t nothin’ but a game to me.
    I will control what I will be.
    This ain’t nothin’ but fun to me.
    Yeah you a piece of work and I’m a queen.

    Don’t dish it out if you can take it.
    Don’t cry to me cus I really hate it.
    That’s right I know how to fake it.
    Surviving will set me free.

    TJ:

    Sharmell comes out to a ripoff of Booker T’s WWE theme. It was as close to the WWE theme as DDP’s WCW music was to the Nirvana song he stole.

    Jenna Morasca was apparently given the following advice: “Ok, wrestling is all about your music, your entrance, and your gear. Everything else is secondary.”

    Part 2: The Match

    sharmell-jenna

    Tim:

    A complete-opposite-of-stiff forearm to Morasca’s back made her crumble in a heap on the ground. Her selling technique which is “kind of move my arms every once in awhile” completely brings Sharmell’s stomps to life.

    A close up of Awesome Kong tells the tale of my feeling during this match. Earl Hebner is disgusted by all of the hair pulling in this match but never ends it. He knows that the fans paid to see this. Morasca’s open-hand slaps must possess some sort of magic and we just aren’t privy to that information.

    WEIRDEST AND MOST EXCESSIVE PIN EVER. The face, Jenna Morasca, wins by help from Awesome Kong and then gets beat up by her afterwards for being an idiot.

    typicalROHfan:

    If I remember right, Jenna Morasca entered TNA after working on a small time film with Kurt Angle and Angle recommending her. I can now see the motive in all the peculiar Twitter accounts becoming “friends” with Kurt Angle.

    Sharmell delivers a Camel Clutch that would make the Iron Sheik proud (seriously, I think he’d be proud knowing two attractive women are practicing his finishing wrestling move). Sharmell’s dress is shedding all over the ring! The female wrestling version of a stained ring after a match with bloodshed.

    OH MY GOD! Jenna with a fury of slaps that would make KENTA’s pale in comparison. Now a SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR. Sharmell’s hair extensions comes out and Kong puts them in her cleavage. That sums it up best leading to the finish.

    Tom:

    Who’s the heel in this match? Neither of them seem particularly likeable. Sharmell’s dress starts falling apart almost immediately. Remember the Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco Hardcore Evening Gown match? Now THAT was a real battle.

    Jenna Morasca running the ropes is something special. She takes a light jog, stops as she approaches, leans against them for a moment and then jogs back.

    Sojo Bolt and Awesome Kong are on the outside. Why are they on the outside? Why aren’t they the ones in the ring? WHAT’S GOING ON.

    5:50 – BORING chant

    7:02 – BOOOOOOO

    I liked Kong putting the hair in her cleavage. I guess her leather bodice doesn’t have any pockets. Anyway, after a good few hours of action, Jenna Morasca gets the win with the most sexually aggressive cover since Edge’s on Beulah McGillicutty.

    TJ:

    What’s truly amazing about this match is that it’s a heel vs. heel match that stemmed from infighting in the Main Event Mafia. I feel like that is the forgotten aspect of this infamous match. Quite literally (RIP Chris & Ann), this match was a perfect storm.

    Jenna’s selling is pretty amazing. She seemingly goes completely limp and sort of just flops around like a fish. I’ve never seen anything like it. This was of course topped by her T-Rex strikes. I think she was trying to keep her arms as close to her body as possible while still slapping Sharmell.

    I recognize this tactic from my college years where I participated in dozens of ultimate frisbee tournaments. When a game is determined to be completely meaningless, shenanigans will break out. For instance, you could play some “Raptor” points, where you have to tuck your arms in your shirt while you play. I can only assume this was Jenna Morasca’s preferred form of ultimate and decided to try translate her presumed success in that field to the sport of professional wrestling.

    Part 3: The Aftermath

    tna-end

    Tim:

    There are really no words in existence to properly explain how this match made me feel. It hurt my face because of the expression it left me with for so long. I watched this on YouTube and I still want my money back.

    I have a new found dislike for leopards. I think that was leopard print, anyway. I’m not even sure what anything is at this point.

    typicalROHfan:

    Jenna Morasca’s last match 🙁

    I loved this. Aside from awesome Gail Kim matches, this is probably my most watched female wrestling match of all time. If a match isn’t going to be good, it may as well be hilarious. I’ll take this a thousand times before sitting through another Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky match.

    In summary, thank you, Jenna. Thank you, Sharmell. Thank you, TNA. If I were rich, I would book a wacky indy show with this rematch as the semi-main event. The main event would obviously be New Jack vs. Davey Richards FYI.

    Tom:

    THAT’S YOUR JENNA’S FACE SLAPPED. Not much to say here, so let’s look at the story of Jenna’s release a few months later:

    “Morasca says she took two days off to tend to her boyfriend, Ethan Zohn who has had a well publicised bout with cancer. The night before his surgery, TNA called her agent to let her know she’d been let go:”

    Jenna said: “The surgery was on the Tuesday and it was the first time I had ever asked TNA for time off. I really had to be home to take care of him. They called my agent on Monday night – when they knew full well the surgery was on Tuesday – and told him that I was fired. I thought the timing was really cruel and insensitive.”

    Wow, TNA sure do know how to time a firing. Good thing they’ve learned from past mistakes though, right? Sorry, Jesse who? Sorensen? No, I’m not familiar.

    TJ:

    Jenna Morasca hops around to celebrate. She then makes Kong put her on her shoulders. Jenna then got in Kong’s face and slapped her. Kong gave her the Big O.

    This is exactly the kind of awful wrestling I love to watch. Long and boring is the worst thing in the world. I would watch this a dozen more times before I ever re-watched a sixty minute Iron Man match.

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