Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.
This week, we’ve chosen Scott Steiner vs. The WCW Cruiserweight division from the WCW Nitro episode that aired on February 5th, 2001. Members of the sites @TimWelcomed and @TomBlackett are here with @AnimeKing420 AKA Nightlife Plus (filling in for @typicalROHfan who is on a LEGO Marvel Super Hero sabbatical) to give their (lack of) expertise on the action.
Part 1: Meet the competition.
Yung Dragons are out first. Schiavone and Madden are too busy talking about other things going on to really bother with this until Evan Karagias and Jamie Knoble come out to what sounds like someone ripped off the synthesizer part of Van Halen’s Jump, cut it up, and threw bits and pieces of it between generic rock music. Scott Steiner is already in the ring. True warriors need not fancy entrances.
All right, here we go! I fondly remember this classic 2001 WCW moment, and it still ranks among my best-remembered wrestling matches of all time. Big Poppa Pump is already in the ring as we kick off this match, clearly too important for a proper entrance. First out are the Yung Dragons, getting a full entrance like the jabronis they are. Man, I miss the era where every cruiserweight wore baggy shiny pants. Jimmy Yang‘s sideburns are pretty good.
Did Chris Benoit lose a couple inches and 50 pounds? No, wait, that’s Jamie Knoble. “Like four buzz bombs and super destroyer in the middle of the ocean, the war is on” is definitely the best Mark Madden quote of all time. Evan Karagias appears to be wearing ugly grey jeans. Given the year, there is a very strong possibility they are JNCO. Screaming, Jimmy Yang leads the charge and the match is underway!
First off, as a professional merchologist, that Scott Steiner shirt advertised on screen looks pretty great.
$20? Total steal. Sadly, wcwgear.com is no longer operational, so I’ll just have to scour eBay for it. The commentary team lets us know that Ric Flair’s job as CEO is on the line in the main event, which is ALSO a handicap match. 2001-era WCW loves handicap matches.
WCW’s theme music for their Asian tag team manages to be slightly less racist than WWF’s, so that’s something.
Part 2: Can Big Poppa Pump overcome the odds?
They all four run at the ring with a… yeah, I’m going to say it…. PACK-LIKE MENTALITY. This, however, does not even come close to working. The best part was Steiner barely even trying to make his moves look impactful. They finally get him down but he quickly kicks out and proceeds to continue his domination. These guys just weren’t ready for Big Poppa Pump.
He goes for a pin but then decides “Nah. I’m going to humiliate this guys.” He gets three of them in a Steiner Recliner. They all tap. This man was unstoppable. He even did this while wearing jeans! In the words of Mark Madden: “Triple Steiner Recliner. Call the moving company. Scott Steiner, The World Champion, reigns supreme.”
The vanilla midgets hit the ring, all four of them gunning for one Scott Steiner. Jimmy Yang gets clotheslined off the apron right to the floor and smacks the back of his head against the entrance ramp, which I still think is one of the top bumps in WCW’s history. I wish Tenay were calling this. The Big Bad Booty Daddy becomes a victim of his own hubris when some showing off made him vulnerable, enabling the cruiserweights to quadruple-team him. After a couple moves, these four dudes attempt to all simultaneously pin Scott Steiner. Could this be the end of Big Poppa Pump??? NO!!! I literally and figuratively cannot believe it, but Steiner kicks out of a dogpile-like pin from four other wrestlers!
His kickout is powerful enough to send Kaz Hayashi stumbling all the way across the ring to a corner, while Jamie Knoble just kind of rolls off like the kick-out wasn’t really that powerful after all. Hmm…anyway, Scotty gets whipped off the ropes but takes Kaz and Jaime down with two huge Steiner-lines! Schiavone calls an overhead belly-to-belly suplex a “T-bone.” Sigh. Midget bodies litter the ring as Steiner lifts Hayashi up and throws him straight to the floor. That looked like it sucked. Scotty’s got this in the bag as he t-bones Jimmy Yang off the top, but he stops the ref from counting!
What is Big Poppa Pump’s game here??? He throws the rest of the cruiserweights around and stacks Karagias, Hayashi and Knoble on top of each other and does the impossible: a triple Steiner Recliner!!! The geeks tap out immediately and Scott Steiner wins!
Oh man, this match, it’s all spectacular. For once though, it’s impossible to top the comments a YouTube user had. Take it away, cutlerfan!
I like that cutlerfan’s prepared to acknowledge the cruiserweights were good athletes, but brother, nothing compares to the “powerful muscle stud bully” Scott Steiner (who “enjoys showin’ off his size and power”). He then gets super creepy and talks about Steiner manhandling Madaijah after the match. Peaks and freaks indeed!
Part 3: Holler, we heard him!
This match was one of the best booked matches I have ever seen. Four young guys that had potential all being used to put an already established wrestler over. That’s how it should be. Long live World Championship Wrestling. Forever in our hearts.
Was there ever any doubt? I mean, look at Big Poppa Pump, and then look at the physiques of the jabronis he was in the ring with. This is truly a hallmark moment in 2001 WCW and one of my favorite matches of all time from that company. Scott Steiner was so great as a singles wrestler in WCW. I miss when wrestling was like this, where you could just feed four up-and-comers to an established star and not have the Internet bitch about it. Did the Internet bitch about this match? Nah, they were probably all too busy watching WWF.
Once again, I’ll defer to the sage comments of a YouTube user for my final thoughts, since I think it went pretty well the first time:
…alright, maybe not. Unless Gus Hansen is using hot gay sex as a euphemism for… uh… okay, it’s probably not a euphemism. Though I’m sure Scott Steiner would be really good at hot gay sex, if he tried!
Man, we’re going to get some interesting search queries for this one.