Rev your engines because it’s time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!
You know how this goes. Your votes have been counted. The name has been picked. Things are about to get rowdy. LET’S DO THIS!
Baron Corbin is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. This is the second time you all have decided The Lone Wolf was deserving of this award. He may be dark and brooding but he’s can’t help but to bring you all joy.
Whether it be his cool tats or his sick vest, Baron Corbin has the right stuff. I have to go. I can’t contain the tears. This is one of the most beautiful moments in history. Congrats, Baron Corbin. Congrats, my man.
Hold on tight because we’re fixing to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday we were not naming The Sexy Wrestler of The Week and yet here we are. We are absolutely naming The Sexy Wrestler of The Week today. Wow!
It’s super hot outside but there’s definitely something hotter in our future. It’s that time of the week again! The Sexy Wrestler of The Week will be named! I’ve counted your votes and it was a thrill ride. Every single one of them brought an extreme joy to my heart.
You would have to be dead to not agree with the winner this week. This could the first win in another streak for this man! I’m hinting at the winner here you dipshit.
Oh, also… he played Blanche’s boyfriend in an episode of Golden Girls. It was probably one of the greatest wrestling/comedy crossovers ever but many people don’t remember it. I dug up a screenshot for you, the lovely readers.
The Undertaker is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! Do you remember his Wrestlemania streak? That was quite the accomplishment but NOTHING compares to being voted the sexiest wrestler. I’m sure The Dead Man is riding his hog down an empty road right now while reflection on what brought him to this huge moment.
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News for The Week of August 10, 2015
Dolph Ziggler’s Twitter password was “standupcomedy.”
WWE is trying to figure out a way they can end Tough Enough with no one winning a contract.
With John Cena running out of shirt colors to use WWE will be holding a contest where fans invent colors. The best new color will be used on Cena merch for six months.
TNA has added Atlantis and Narnia to the schedule for their next UK tour.
Velvet Sky genuinely believes she is an actual lion at this point.
Mike Tenay is secretly running an illegal gambling pool on when TNA goes out of business.
Hear ye, hear ye! We shall now declare The Sexy Wrestler of The Week.
The billions of votes that came in this week were quite overwhelming but, being the professional I am, I got the big job done and here we are again. Let’s get down to business.
There you have it. For the first time ever MVP is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! Today is his special day and I know he is proud. With his recent departure from TNA I was left reminiscing on his career and then I found myself thinking “what if?” What if MVP was still with WWE right now? What if he never left? What would he be doing? I bet he would be pulling some dank pranks on the hit WWE Network show, SWERVED.
It would be full of that many more laughs. Here’s to hoping MVP will one day make his way back to WWE and be able to participate on Swerved. I think it would benefit us all.
Pump your iron and take your wheat, it’s time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!
Oh, can you give me a hell yeah? That’s a little phrase I stole from “Stone Cold” Steve Austin because it is how I feel. I want you all to say “oh, hell yeah” right now while looking at your screen. IT’S SO LIBERATING. Us wrestling fans don’t give a damn what people think we just want to be live our lives. What better way to live your life than by voting for the sexiest wrestler of the week every week? Well, obviously not much because you all live this way. Let’s see who you voted for this time.
The very man on which Sexy Wrestler of The Week was founded has climbed back into all of your hearts this week. Adam Cole is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. I created this picture to illustrate that I think Adam Cole could be a magical space-being who is fully capable of spreading love over the planet by blowing intergalactic kisses. It may be a little deep and layered but I was full of tears and power as I created this masterpiece.
It’s time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! Can you handle it?
Well, well, well. Look what the cat carried in with his little mouth. You’re here to swoon at the newest sexy wrestler of the week. Aren’t we all? You probably thought I would do the vote counting for you. You probably thought that was MY job. Hey, I’ve got news for you. I did and it is my job. I get paid a very small amount but I’m filled with the riches of giving out a very illustrious award every damn week. Tell me that’s not fucking worth my time and see if I let you get away with it. Didn’t think so…
This week we examine the newly awarded gorgeous grappler in their favorite weekend costume. Word is they love to hit the roller rink in style.
The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is Roman Reigns. He may be an unbelievable machine in the ring but when it comes to dressing up in a minion costume this guy is as natural as they come. I can’t help but notice it makes him look a little shorter than usual but he wears it well.
I really need you to send in your votes for next week. I’ve noticed that more votes are coming in than usual and I want that to grow even more. Thank you for your dedication and love. Keep up the good work. Cheers.
Let’s drink an Old Fashioned and name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!
Okay, people. It is that time again. The votes have been counted and the winner has been chosen. Like any dignified journalist I strive to have new information to give you every week and have it be interesting. Yeah, naming The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is big enough to stand on its own. After all, it is the biggest award in professional wrestling today. This week is no different. As soon as I found out who the winner was I began digging up dirt and contacting my sources from various industries. What I have found this week will have you saying “WOWZERS!”
First off: BOOM! There it is. The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is none other than “The Devils Favorite Businessman,” Kane. He’s (somehow) no stranger to this prestigious award so I had to dig harder to find out some never-before-known info and I found quite the hidden gem.
Kane was originally supposed to play a supporting character in the fourth season of the now completed TV show Mad Men. His character (Hank Hinkle) was abruptly edited out in post-production from the first three episodes and was told to never return as it “just wasn’t working out.” When asked about this, Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner said “he was just really boring. Our writing couldn’t even begin to save him plus his stature and sex appeal really took away from Don Draper.” Kane has kept this failure very close to the chest but today we celebrate him.
Let’s relax, sip on a nice hot coffee, and name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! Sounds good, right? I mean, you’d tell me if you weren’t into it. You’re a nice person and I can trust you. Thank you.
Holy moly! It’s that time of the week again already and let me tell you, I have an amazing announcement for you today. You can probably guess what it is but it’s still amazing. The announcement is that I have counted all of your votes and The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is ready to be named! Settle down! I know. It’s always a big deal. So, shall we get ok with it?
The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is none other than Finn Bálor! This NXT superstar is no stranger to this prestigious award but a lot has changed since his past wins. We caught up with him in a supermarket to snap this photo and he was THRILLED.
Next week we will be naming another Sexy Wrestler of The Week… as we do every week. Do you have strong feelings about who should win? Then please let it be known. Vote! Get off your asses and vote!
Let’s howl at the moon or whatever and name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!
The votes have been counted! Who did you vote for? Did they win? WELL, LET’S FIND OUT.
Are you sure you’re ready to know?
The Sexy Wrestlerof The Week is Davey Richards. This is his first time to win and quite frankly, it kind of came out of nowhere but he deserves it. Why? BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF YOU SAID SO. That’s how voting works. Well… he’s an accomplished wrestler and a paramedic too so, there’s that.
Here’s a young Davey Richards with his family. Little did he know he would one day win this prestigious award. I bet he’d be smiling if he did know at the time though! His life has had some downs not unlike everyone else. For example, he had a failed USA pilot back in 2008 called “Under Sold.”
Things are looking way better for this TNA roster member. Will he win again next week? I don’t know. That’s up to you. What I do know is that McDonald’s is offering a large sweet tea for only a dollar. Be sure to grab one tonight with a meal!
Let’s rock and roll while we name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!
What a week it has been! I hope you’ve all had as good of a week as I have. the best part of my week was counting your votes, of course! I can get so much accomplished while counting votes. This week I watched TV, watched stuff on the internet, watched out my window, watched my bookshelf, watched my watch, watched a raccoon eat straight from my fridge because I left my door open, watched stuff on my phone, and I even watched… WRESTLING. Wrestling is my true passion and I will fight for it. That’s not a lie. It is the truth. The votes have been counted and that’s all that matters. Shall we see who you voted to win? I think we shall.
Heath Slater is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. Be it his studded wrestling boots, his red locks, or his raw energy, you all were really into him this past week. I mean, just look at how photogenic this man is.
And, uh, there’s this too.
I don’t know… I guess I get it. It’s real and honest. Someone poured their heart into that video. Maybe you will appreciate this fine art.