• Wrestling With Food

    Wrestling With Food: Sgt. Slaughter’s Mess Hall Dip

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    So many things happened on Sunday, guys. 1) My little nephew stood on his own and smiled at me 2) the Royal Rumble was super exciting and worth watching and 3) we learned how to make at-home Taco Bell, by way of the good Sgt. Slaughter.

    Okay, only two of those things are true. Let’s get going to find out which ones!

    We were going over to my brother’s house to watch the Rumble, and it only seemed right to bring something, and since it WAS a wrestling event, why not subject him to this horrible and amazing endeavor? After going through the cookbook, Sgt. Slaughter’s Mess Hall Dip seemed to be the most appropriate

    The ingredients:

    4 tablespoons garlic butter

    2½ – 3lbs ground sirloin

    Salt to taste

    Pepper to taste

    3 (10½ ounce) cans Hormel (or equivalent) no-bean chili

    2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese (or reduced-fat cream cheese)

    3 cups (12 oz) shredded mild cheddar cheese

    12 oz sour cream (or more if desired)

    Black olives (optional)

    Sarge informs us that this feeds a platoon, and since there were basically 4 of us possibly eating this, I made exactly 1/3 this amount, but probably went a little butter and cheese heavy because I think that’s what God intended.

    dip-ingredients

    Note: The directions below in quotations are all in Sarge’s “own words”, as they were printed in the cookbook. HE IS A VERY AGGRESSIVE MAN.
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    Wrestling With Food: Jericho Doodles

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

    Happy New Year, my little buttery crumpets! Are you ready for another recipe review featuring a few scattered, poorly lit images and hidden text? Let’s begin!

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    Okay, so here’s the truth. I’m annoyed that they gave the delicious snickerdoodle to Jericho for Jericho Doodles: “Doodles Are Jericho”. I realize at the time when this fantastic cookbook was actually published, he was a bigger deal and more fun. I absolutely remember how exciting his entrance was when I would watch wrestling then, but now… well, he’s a guy who seems decidedly less excited about wrestling. Nowadays, he’ll do a perfectly FINE AMA on Reddit but is he the Keanu Reeves of the AMA? He is not.

    What I’m saying is, today’s Jericho kind of deserves a corn bread recipe. A chicken soup recipe, maybe. Meatloaf? I dunno. But snickerdoodles are my second favorite type of cookie, and I sort of resented buying my umpteenth bottle of cream of tartar in the name of Chris Jericho and/or Fozzie. SORRY FOR THIS CONTROVERSIAL OPINION.

    Sidenote: I watched Cursed on Netflix the other day (whatever, it was New Year’s Day and I apologize for nothing) and I thought Fozzie was the opening band. Nope! It was Bowling For Soup. Am I doing a disservice to Fozzie or to Bowling For Soup? You decide.

    But let’s get going. As usual, here are the ingredients! And guys, guess how many (different) pictures I of the following items on my phone? If I do a WWF Cookbook dessert recipe, I automatically grab two sticks of butter before even looking at the rest of the list.

    doodle-ingredients

    The ingredients:

    3 ¾ cups flour

    ½ teaspoon baking soda

    ½ teaspoon salt

    ½ cream of tartar

    1 cup (2 sticks) butter

    2 cups plus 3 tablespoons sugar

    2 eggs

    ¼ cup milk

    1 teaspoon vanilla

    1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

    Nothing crazy here. This is a perfectly standard snickerdoodle recipe. I do think they were a little low on the cinnamon but more on that later.

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    Wrestling With Food: Kevin Steen’s Chicken and Pea Pou-Steen

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    ALRIGHT. Something a little different this time, since not only is this NOT a recipe from the WWF Cookbook, Sydney’s not even the one making it – it’s me, much-maligned husband Tom.

    As you might have heard, Kevin Steen was officially signed to WWE this week. We’re big fans of his here at Wrestling On Earth, and he was actually one of the very first wrestlers to show us any support through his participation in our first 4 on 4. One of the questions we asked him there was “if you had your own breakfast cereal, what would it be called and what would be in it”, to which Kevin answered:

    It would be french fries, gravy and cheese. It’d be called poutine.” 

    That planted the seed of an idea, so I later reached out to Kevin to ask what his favourite kind of poutine is and things started rolling. After some research (i.e. ripping off a recipe I found online), I’ve now put together something worthy of the WWF Cookbook: Kevin Steen’s Chicken and Pea Pou-Steen. It hits all the marks of the original cookbook’s recipes, in that it’s not actually written by the wrestler it claims to be from, it’s not particularly healthy and it has terrible wordplay in the title. Let’s get going!

    The ingredients:

    steen-ingredients

    Cooking spray

    2 large egg whites

    2 teaspoons paprika

    Salt and pepper

    2 pounds large Yukon gold potatoes, cut  into ¼-inch-thick fries

    1 bunch scallions, chopped

    3 cups low-sodium chicken broth

    ¼ cup all-purpose flour

    1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

    1½ cups shredded rotisserie chicken (skin removed)

    ¾ cup frozen peas

    4 ounces mozzarella cheese, diced

    Yeah, I’m not using cheese curds, SORRY KEVIN / CANADIANS / FANS OF AUTHENTIC POUTINE. I couldn’t find them at my local crappy supermarket and I think they might be tricky to get a hold of because of America’s ridiculous health and safety standards. I found an alternative recipe that uses mozzarella instead so… look, it’s fine. It’ll be fine. Continue reading

    Wrestling With Food: Oatmeal Cookies a la Road Dogg

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    WARNING: THIS ONE IS A RAMBLER.

    So guys, you know what is really hard to do in the summer? Motivate yourself to turn on the oven and make the kitchen even hotter. None of the mains seemed appealing this round (though I will definitely make Grand Master Sexay’s Sweet Potato Casserole once it’s seasonably appropriate.)

    Speaking of, just as soon as I typed that, I wondered that happened to him. Wikipedia tells me he was released from WWE for trying to bring drugs across the Canadian/US border? Oh, wrestlers! But he’s been clean since last year, so good on him. (NOTE FROM TOM: I’ll tell Syd later about the various other unpleasant rumours involving Brian Christopher, just to make sure she’s not under the pretence that he’s an okay guy).

    Anyway, so dessert it was! Up for review would be Road Dogg’s Oatmeal Cookies. For whatever reason, Road Dogg was one of my favorites back in the day. Was it his bucket hats? His white man braids? I honestly couldn’t tell you. But I always found him (and Billy Gunn) to be the most entertaining part of DX. Sure, you have HBK moonsaulting his sweet born-again Christian ass off, but that little two step dance that Mr. James did was ever so endearing. Before this article turns even MORE into my stream of consciousness, let’s get going!

    The ingredients:

    road-dogg-ingredients

    1 cup flour

    ½ teaspoon baking powder

    ½ teaspoon baking soda

    ¼ teaspoon salt

    ¼ cup shortening

    4 tablespoons (½ stick) butter or margarine

    ½ cup granulated sugar, plus more for dipping (optional)

    ⅓ cup backed brown sugar

    1 egg

    2 tablespoons milk

    ½ teaspoon vanilla

    1 cup quick rolled oats

    ¼ cup chopped walnuts

    Sure, two types of sugar, two types of fat. Par for the course for the WWF cookbook!

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    Wrestling With Food: “Classy” Cheesecake a la Classy Freddie Blassie

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    Happy 4th of July, my American friends! So, it’s dessert time once again here at Wrestling With Food! For this edition, I selected Classy Freddy Blassie’s “Classy” Cheesecake.

    You know, whenever they put something in quotations, I’m led to believe it is the opposite of what they are saying, but you know what? This was a classy-ass cheesecake. Let’s get going!

    The ingredients:

    ingredients

    The crust

    1 cup graham cracker crumbs

    ¼ cup coarsely chopped walnuts

    2 tablespoons brown sugar

    1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

    ½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened.

    The filling

    2 cups sour cream

    3 (8 oz) packages cream cheese, at room temperature

    3 eggs, lightly beaten

    1 cup granulated sugar

    ½ teaspoon salt

    2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

    Zest of 1 small orange, finely grated

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    Wrestling With Food: Deep-Dish Italian Sausage Lasagna a la J.R.

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    I know, my little muffin tins. It’s been a while and I totally promised one was coming and then I LIED. To be fair, we moved and the cookbook was in one of the many boxes now residing in my parent’s basement but luckily Tom dug it out and here we are.

    Without further ado, J.R.’s Deep-Dish Italian Sausage Lasagna.

    “I’m a very lucky man. In addition to being ten years younger than I am, and a former gymnast, my beautiful Italian wife is also a wonderful cook! And so was her grandmother, who perfected this recipe decades ago. It’s a tried and true dish that has been making people smile for years. It’s the only lasagna recipe you will ever need”

    I appreciate him throwing in the aside that his wife is both younger AND a former gymnast, just in case we wanted to be reminded that JR is a little saucy.

    The ingredients

    ingredients

    2 pounds sweet italian sausage, crumbled

    2 (28-ounce) jars chunky spaghetti sauce

    2 (15-ounce) containers ricotta cheese (reduced fat, if desired)

    1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

    1/2 cup grated romano cheese

    2 tablespoons chopped fresh italian flat leaf parsley

    2 table spoons chopped fresh oregano leaves (or 1 tablespoon dried)

    2 (8 ounce) packages (about 20) lasagna noodles, cooked

    4 cups shredded, reduced fat mozzarella cheese

    This will shock you, but unlike with most of my WWF Cookbook creations, I did NOT halve this recipe. You never know when the Lethal Weapon will accept the invite, so we had to make sure we had enough! I also found it… interesting that a recipe from his Italian wife (passed down from the grandmother, no less!) used jar sauce.

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    Wrestling With Food: WRESTLEMANIA PARTY EDITION

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

    I know. I KNOW. It’s been what, a month? And at least three weeks past ‘Mania, but here I am bringing you the edition that covers the WWF cookbook recipes we made for our little Wrestlemania party.

    My humble apologies, Wrestling With Food readers. It’s been a crazy old time, but it’s time to get back to business. So, without further ado (or excuses) let’s get going with Wrestling With Food: WRESTLEMANIA PARTY EDITION.

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    Ground rules (for this week): While I usually love to break these recipes down for you step by step, we’ve got to get through four of these and man, that would be quite the long article. SO, for this edition and this edition ONLY, I’ll list the ingredients and then go right to the review. Next week, don’t worry – it’ll be back to that classic Wrestling With Food that you know and love.

    Also! An exciting AND terrifying part of this was I would be serving these recipes not only to Tom, but to guests! I enjoy that people just willingly let us do this to them.

    In attendance, we had another member of the site, Joey (AKA @JoeySplashwater, formerly typicalROHfan)! We’d never met before that day but SPOILERS: he is a delight. Joey’s friend Juan was there too (who previously appeared on the site in this 4 on 4 Casual Fans feature and was also very nice), as well as a couple of our other friends (who haven’t been featured on the site whatsoever, so just FORGET about them).

    The planning

    Originally, we were thinking of doing an All-Dead-Wrestler Buffet, but after looking at the menu, choosing from only dead wrestlers didn’t lend a lot of cohesion to the meal (and frankly, I did not want to eat Paul Bearer’s Tuna Stuffed Tomatoes). So, we simply went with foods that seemed party appropriate and it turned out that the recipes we selected all came from wrestlers that couldn’t wrestle anymore, for a variety of reasons ranging from death to potential and actual paralysis.

    Now, there was going to be another brand new recipe featured – that morning, I started with the Hollys’ Family Butter Cookies, as I wanted to get dessert out of the way ahead of time. While the ingredients read like they SHOULD be a tasty cookie (4 sticks of butter, 2 cups sugar, 6 eggs, 2 teaspoons vanilla, 8 cups flour, 4 teaspoons baking powder – and yes, I halved that recipe), the end results were SO bland. So bland, in fact that I tried to doctor them with chocolate chips and toffee crunch (leftover from the good Lord Henry’s recipe) and still, no dice. I would take a picture of them for you, but that picture would have been of our garbage can as I threw them out. 0 out of 5 stars.

    Resigned, I realized I would have to go back to the fan favorite: The Rock’s Favorite Choclate Chip Cookies. I’d tell you how I made those, but that’s old news and you can read all about it here!

    MOVING ON. The final menu we decided on was: Edge’s Cocktail Party Meatballs, Droz’s Barbecue Chicken Pizza and Eddie Guerrero’s Mexican Tortilla Casserole. Continue reading

    Wrestling With Food: Red Velvet Cake a la Kane

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    It’s been a while since we cracked the ol’ cookbook (well, less than two weeks, but it feels longer) – that’s because we hightailed it out of the frozen tundra of New York and went on down to Orlando for vacation. THAT’S RIGHT. We went to Disney/Universal Studios and YES OF COURSE we went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

    Now, faithful readers of Wrestling With Food, if you were wondering what the beverage equivalent of Mark Henry’s Sexual Chocolate Cake was (or Vis’ No-Bake Cookies, for that matter), wonder no more: it’s BUTTERBEER, or at least whatever the secret ingredient in butterbeer is (possibly concentrated sugar).

    But I digress. I’m not here to talk about the wondrous treats of Hogwarts, I’m here to talk about a recipe from everyone’s favourite Libertarian, in Kane’s Red Velvet Cake. Let’s get it going, shall we?

    The ingredients:

    ingredients

    For the cake:

    1 (10 ¼ ounce) package fudge marble cake mix.

    1 teaspoon baking soda.

    2 eggs.

    1 ½ cups buttermilk.

    1 (1 ounce) bottle red food coloring.

    For the frosting:

    5 tablespoons flour.

    1 cup milk.

    1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened.

    1 cup sugar.

    2 teaspoons vanilla. Continue reading

    Wrestling With Food: Chicken-Fried Steak a la The Hardy Boyz

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    You know, I realized that since starting this project, I’ve been switching between sweet and savory. Since we did the super sweet cookies of dear old departed Vis last week, some sort of entrée was due. I handed Tom the cookbook, and let him decide. After flipping through, he decided on The Hardy Boyz’ Chicken-Fried Steak.

    I’m a firm believer that you can never have too much angioplasty, so I was game. Here are the notes from JR at the top, which are pretty great and not at all sexist:

    “North Carolina natives Matt and Jeff Hardy lost their mom when they were boys, so these two highflyers learned to cook and sew as youngsters. This dish is in the meat eaters’ Hall of Fame, and ladies, it is indeed the way to a good old boy’s heart. Fellas, if your lady can make a main-event chicken-fried steak, you’re in luck. And if she can make cream gravy to drown it in, you might want to consider a long-term relationship!”

    There you have it, folks. Women, get to learning to make this. Men, appreciate that they are doing it, but ONLY put a ring on it if she makes the gravy. Anyway, here we go!

    steak-ingredients

    The ingredients:

    For the steak:

    ¾ cup of flour.

    ¼ teaspoon paprika.

    ¼ teaspoon salt.

    ¼ pepper.

    1 teaspoon seasoned salt, or to taste.

    1 ½ (4 ½ inch) thick rib-eye steaks.

    1 large egg, beaten.

    ¼ cup cooking oil.

    For the gravy:

    3 tablespoons drippings.

    1 ¼ cup milk.

    3 tablespoons flour.

    1 teaspoon salt.

    Dash of pepper, or to taste.

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    Wrestling With Food: No-Bake Cookies a la Viscera

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

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    Oh man, our first dead wrestler recipe. True confession time, readers: I had to try this recipe out twice because the first time was an utter failure and I didn’t want to leave it at that, given he died so recently. Good ol’ Viscera deserves better. Have you guys read the wiki entry on his death? His wife had him cremated and had his ashes made into FIVE HUNDRED pendants for friends and family. WHAT IN THE WHAT. Do you think Steve Blackman is one of the five hundred?

    Also, the JR comment on the recipe makes me a little sad for Viscera:

    “Quite honestly, we don’t encourage Big Vis to put away a lot of cookies. We’d like to see his weight under 500 pounds, as we don’t want to adversely affect his dropkicks. But even Big Vis needs a treat every now and then, and who’s gonna tell him to put down the cookies?”

    Moving on! So, no-bake cookies. I have never had success with these or those refrigerator cookies but wanted to give it a shot given the ease of the recipe and the fairly limited amount of ingredients:

    vis-ingredients

    The ingredients:

    ½ cup butter (1 stick).

    2 cups sugar.

    ½ milk.

    4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder.

    2 cups oatmeal.

    ½ cup peanut butter.

    1 teaspoon vanilla.

    (Will make 2-3 dozen cookies). Continue reading