• The Big Dog Bites Back

    The Big Dog Bites Back: Legends of Wrestling, June 7th, 2015

    My name is Tom and I am The Big Dog.

    I attended the Legends of Wrestling show at Citifield baseball stadium in Queens, New York on Sunday – I live-tweeted some of the highlights from @TomBlargh, before writing the following report for “Big” Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer. Unfortunately, Melty chose not to publish it so the Observer’s loss is Wrestling On Earth’s gain!

    BTW

    Attendance: A couple thousand or so, probably? Matt Striker announced it as 8,000 at one point, though that was definitely a lie. Long lines for all the autograph signings and hot dogs and that. Lots of kids, lots of guys walking around with replica belts on their shoulders.

    Pre-show: There were a few matches. One of them had Pete Gas! Pete’s looking healthy. There was another one that was a tag match before being turned into a battle royal for no reason, and to the apparent surprise of all the wrestlers.

    Matt Striker and Ashley Massaro came out to do commentary, which is piped-in over the intercom. Matt Striker was as dreadful as you’d expect, Ashley was mostly silent.

    Match 1: Two Lads vs. Another Two Lads

    Can’t remember any of their names tbh. One was a big fat old guy with gross bleached blonde hair, a bit like how Raven used to have it. John Cena Sr. is managing one team so they pipe-in “let’s go Cena / Cena sucks” chants. There are a LOT of piped-in chants over the course of the evening, it’s pretty amazing. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine is managing the other team and my goodness but he has lovely silky hair.

    WINNER: Greg Valentine’s mates.
    Star Rating: ****

    Valentine puts one of the other lads in a figure four after the match. It takes a while, but he kind of gets there in the end! Almost!

    Match 2: Tyrus vs. Brian Myers

    Brian Myers is dressed up in Mets-themed gear and came out with one of the team’s mascots. Despite this shameless pandering, he doesn’t get much of a response. When Tyrus comes out, they play piped-in “Funkosaurus” chants. Nobody joins in, but they still use it as justification for old Tyrus getting on the mic and saying “funk you” to the crowd. Sensational banter, classic heel heat.

    WINNER: Curt Hawkins
    Star Rating: ****1/4

    After the match, Tyrus picked up Ashley and carried her to the back. No explanation why.

    Match 3: “Hacksaw” James Duggan vs. Robbie E.

    Everyone loves old Hacksaw and he seemed to be having a grand old time. There was some debate between myself and @JoeySplashwater over whether he’d take his t-shirt off to wrestle but: he did not.

    WINNER: Hacksaw Jim Duggan
    Star Rating: ****1/2

    Match 4: Tommy Dreamer vs. Wes Brisco

    Wes Brisco comes out to “Bad to the Bone” for some reason. He has leg tattoos now that look absolutely fucking dreadful:

    wes-brisco-leg-tattoos

    BREAKING WES BRISCO TATTOO UPATE:

    If that’s the case, he should always wear long pants, they’re bloody awful.

    Thomas Dreamer came out wearing a Mets jersey and looked like someone’s dad, though he is someone’s dad so I guess that’s fair enough.

    At one point, Dreamer gives Brisco an RKO, which he kicks out of. Heavy shot at Randy Orton. Brisco gets finished with a DDT though, so hopefully that’ll make Steve Austin happy.

    WINNER: Tommy Dreamer
    Star Rating: ****

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