• match of the week

    Match Of The Week: KroniK vs. 3 Count (WCW Nitro 2000)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen KroniK vs. 3 Count from an episode of WCW Nitro in the year 2000. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Meet KroniK

    meet-kronik

    Tim:

    The most vile command in the history of WCW rears its ugly head in this one. Telling someone to “stick it” always gets a gasp. Kronik goes there. Kronik gets real and that’s why they had fans who probably just liked them because “weed, dude” or “kronik bronchitis, bro.” They cut a pretty generic promo on Goldberg.

    typicalROHfan:

    I loved KroniK. The Bryan/Brian’s of my heart before Daniel Bryan Danielson existed in my world. Crush and Adam Bomb were two of my favorites so I was excited when KroniK was formed. Their promo about wanting to beat up Goldberg would have been cool if they didn’t lose to Goldberg in 3 minutes at the next PPV. (It was the main event.)

    Tom:

    Does Bryan Adams have fangs? Was that ever explained or does he just have weirdly prominent canines a la Kirsten Dunst? Mark Madden says “if anyone ever buys this damn company, he might hire KroniK to protect his job”. Mark Madden, I think it’ll take a lot more than KroniK to keep you from the unemployment line. There’s a sign in the crowd that says ‘KroniK is down with the air force’. Okay then!

    WRESTLING TALK happens from Adams. He goes on about unstoppable forces and huge egos and so on. It’s pretty typical stuff, until THE SUNGLASSES COME OFF… and then it’s more of the same. Kronik look like if Kevin Nash and Scott Hall had a couple of disappointing babies. Continue reading

    Match Of The Week: Big Bubba vs. Mr. JL (WCW Saturday Night)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Big Bubba vs. Mr. JL from a random old episode of WCW Saturday Night. While the video quality isn’t ideal, the match sure is. Dusty Rhodes + bicycle + nWo ski mask refs = magic. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Tim:

    I remember the first time I ever really understood how great we had it when Dusty Rhodes was on commentary. I still can’t find video of it and I think I may have seen it once since the original broadcast somehow. In fact, I may just be making it up… like that time my dad got licked on the face by a llama while at a drive-though petting zoo that my family swears never happened. Anyways, I think it was on a WCW PPV pre-show but it involved a spark from the pyrotechnics catching Dusty’s jacket on fire and him yelling “I’m on farrr, Tony!” Again, this may or may not have ever actually happened but I like to think it did.

    On to the match… Mr. JL wearing my second favorite purple wrestling attire ever. Big Bubba and NWO Ref are matching and I think that is cute. While I’m thinking about how excited the crowd must be it happens. “HE GOT A BITHYCLE.” The NWO referee was really pissed that he got called into work while he was getting ready to go skiing with Mrs. NWO Ref but when he saw his man, Big Bubba, using a bicycle it all became worth it. Dusty is still ranting about the bicycle and I believe he said something about “a-filibusterin’.” Jerry Lynn is amazing but still loses to “Bubber.” This match was such a blessing.

    typicalROHfan:

    This short match is a work of art. WCW Saturday Night featured so many gems, some good, great great, some the opposite of good and great. This was all of the above. Dusty Rhodes is the best worst announcer there can be. He’s not good at all but he’s hilarious in his wacky forming of words that he isn’t as intolerable as someone today like a JBL or Tazz. A match like this shows the best of his material.

    Mr. JL and Sabu had the most underrated WCW feud that no one remembers so I’m partial towards the JL mask. Not as partial to NWO ref Nick Patrick‘s ski mask. With all the power and money the NWO claimed to have, couldn’t they afford a better mask or at least to have the NWO letters on it?

    With the WWE Network coming, I have the idea that matches as beloved as this one should be recreated. Imagine Luke Harper choking The Miz with a bicycle. Dusty Rhodes would have to be on commentary. If we leave the commentary as is, Jerry Lawler would just make a joke about his future gf learning how to ride a bike and JBL would try to acquire a two seat bike for him and Vince McMahon.

    Tom:

    We’re launched straight into the action and OH WOW, there’s immediately a lot to take in:

    1) Mr. JL is a very terrible name, but his gear’s pretty good! Did he predate Mysterio in wearing a sleeveless shiny shirt? Man, Jerry Lynn gave so much to the wrestling business and asked for so little in return.

    2) The dastardly nWO ref concealing his identity in a balaclava is fantastic, especially since it has a bobble on top, just like any good #HEEL would have. “You can’t even market that mask” declares Dusty, which is definitely not true – if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the wrestling business can market anything (though not necessarily successfully).

    3) WAIT NEVER MIND THE REST BECAUSE HE GOT A BITHYCLE!

    And yeah, the rest of the match might as well not have happened, because Dusty Rhodes freaking out about the presence of a bithycle in a professional wrestling match pretty much hijacks the rest of the show. Dusty asks about the whereabouts of the child who was a-riding that bithycle, but that dolt Tony Schiavone doesn’t have any answers for him.

    Great moment of commentary, or GREATEST moment of commentary? I might go for the latter, since it’s also the inspiration for my greatest artistic achievement; a ceramic tribute to the American Dream:

    dusty-mug

    Honestly, I think Dusty’s never looked better than in mug form.

    Match Of The Week: Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell (WWE Raw 7/2/2001)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell from the July 2nd, 2001 episode of RAW. This was the first WCW match on RAW after WWE purchased the WCW. Many says this match is the reason why WWE decided to end the concept of WCW shortly. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: WCW Monday Night Raw

    buff

    Tim:

    Arn Anderson as a commentator is… well, something different, I guess. I don’t know if anyone has ever said this but there were a few different ways they could have handled having the WCW name that would have been way better. We did get this match out of them doing it this way though so there is that.

    typicalROHfan:

    The first introduction we get to WCW is Scott Hudson botching by saying Buff Bagwell is going for the “WWF Championship” against Booker T. In retrospect going with Stacy Keibler as ring announcer and Hudson & Arn Anderson as the commentators was not the best decision at all. (Sorry, Arn. You still have the best Spinebuster ever.)

    Here comes Buff Bagwell in an airbrushed top hat and the theme song “Buff Daddy.” WCW never had a chance.

    Tom:

    As a die-hard WWF fan, I’d been conditioned to believe that WCW was a backwards company of has-beens and losers and I’d be mad to watch it. On this fateful night in 2001, Buff Bagwell and Booker T proved me wrong; it was much, much worse.

    Scott Hudson and Double A, Arn Anderson are here to call one of the weirdest matches ever. “WCW is back in business!” Oh, okay! Stacy Keibler is ring announcer, and she’s… sort of competent? Definitely not good, but she manages to say the words at a pitch that’s almost audible to humans. Buff’s theme song is pretty incredible. They don’t make ’em like that anymore.

    Continue reading

    Match of the Week: Horace Hogan vs. Billy Kidman (WCW Thunder 4/26/2000)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Billy Kidman vs. Horace “Not Hulk” Hogan in a bout from WCW Thunder on April 26, 2000. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Kidman lays down the challenge.

    kidman-horace1

    Tim:

    Billy Kidman makes his way to the ring like a true star. He gets his own pyro, has his lady-friend next to him, and even gets halfway down the ramp before you’re distracted by the nameplate’s loud electricity sound. That’s a superstar entrance. Then we get an awkward cut to a replay from the week before. Marc Mero is in the crowd so we have to deal with that for a second.

    Kidman trashes Hogan for a bit. I can always be content with people doing that. Torrie Wilson says some stuff but I was too busy counting how long her pauses were between each word. Kidman issues an open challenge. I hope he is prepared for who comes out.

    typicalROHfan:

    The uncrowned 1990’s “Sexy Wrestler of the Decade” Billy Kidman comes out to the ring with Torrie Wilson. Torrie is currently known as the girlfriend of PED using baseball player Alex Rodriguez. Yes, she is dating a famous steroid user OUTSIDE of the world of pro wrestling. Earth, this is.

    After boasting of a beat down on Hulkamania, Kidman SHOOTS on Hulk Hogan‘s comments burying Kidman in public. Hulk legitimately trashed Kidman in radio interviews in a real life context. Shades of Hulk Hogan in TNA. Wait, can we say “shades of” in reverse chronological order? Kidman talks about drawing straws and throwing potatoes (what is this throwing potatoes thing?) to see who faces him tonight. Who could it be?

    Tom:

    Kidman’s rocking the red and yellow, brother. I never watched Thunder and WOW, that crackling electricty effect when his name comes up is about as 2000 as it gets. THAT’S GOTTA BE… THAT’S GOTTA BE MARC MERO IN THE FRONT ROW! And… Ray Renaldi? Ronaldi? Who?

    Torrie Wilson’s faces while Kidman talks are REALLY weird. I think they’re meant to be sexy?. Somebody’s mom is drunkenly cheering Sexy Billy K. in the crowd. There’s a sign that reads ‘F.U.N.B.’, which is apparently something Hogan originated that means ‘Fuck U New Blood’. WCW was just amazing.

    Kidman talks about how the people love him, and while the commentators try to under-cut him and say ‘doesn’t sound like it’, the camera keeps cutting to people cheering him like crazy. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE THINKING, WCW?!? Continue reading

    Match of the Week: Crash Holly vs. The World

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve decided to make up for the last few weeks without a Match of the Week by having THREE matches. And ALL are celebrating Crash Holly. That’s right. Three Crash Holly matches. You’re welcome! Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Crash Holly vs. Tazz

    Tim:

    Tazz, being the bully that he is, controls Crash Holly from the beginning, immediately taking him to the back because why wrestle in the ring if you do not have to? Tensai and a member of The Shield appear until Tazz throws Tensai into a freezer where he would freeze until being thawed out years later. Tazz was too busy trying to bully around a lot of people instead of just his opponent leading to him getting blindsided by a fire extinguisher and a 2X4 from Crash Holly who then gets the win.

    Crash returns to the ring to celebrate. Then we see him explain the 24/7 rules. Then we get the pay-off by seeing him explain that the belt was under 24/7 rules again but this time in denim overalls! As he leaves The Mean Street Posse attacks him but they fight among themselves too much to accomplish anything.

    typicalROHfan:

    Look at this goon Tazz rushing Crash Holly. Let the guy into the ring, jerk! I love how Michael Cole refers to Tazz of the two as the “overachiever.” The fight gets intense backstage.

    Hey, look! WWE Superstar Tensai is running laps backstage as part of his cardio and this asshole Tazz pushes him into the wall and starts hitting him with a wrench for no reason whatsoever. Big Boss Man arrives to arrest Taz. Hooray, justice! Wait, what… Tazz throws Boss Man into a freezer. This vandal must be stopped!

    Crash stands tall and defeats the scumbag bully. What a valiant hero. Crash then chats up Lillian Garcia and survives a fight with the Mean Street Posse. Normal day in the life of Crash, as we’ll see more of.

    Tom:

    WELL, IF IT ISN’T MY UNFASHIONABLE NEMESIS TAZZ. The two start crowd brawling, which maybe isn’t the best idea for two guys of their stature because they get lost immediately. Things soon go backstage though, and it all feels very reminiscent of how you could take a fight to the back in WWF No Mercy for the N64. Remember that? Power bombing guys through that one table in the changing room? Great times.

    King takes a shot at Brooklyn and the ‘seedy apartment buildings’ that Tazz probably grew up in and… wait, that’s more a shot at Tazz, isn’t it? You get him, King! Prince Albert shows up, Crash gets locked in a freezer, Big Bossman turns up and OH MY GOD why is the Hardcore Title still not in existence? Crash wearing dungarees at the end is completely perfect, even as the Mean Street Posse accost him in the parking lot.

    Continue reading

    Match of the Week: Booker T vs Jeff Jarrett (San Francisco 49ers Match on WCW Nitro 10/2/00)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Booker T vs Jeff Jarrett in a San Francisco 49ers Match on the December 2, 2000 edition of WCW Nitro for the WCW Championship. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    The first and only San Francisco 49ers Match features the brilliant Vince Russo brainchild of 4 boxes being hung above each corner of the ring. One holds the WCW title and you must open that box and pick up the title. The other boxes may not have held the WCW title but they held many fond memories and moments.

    Part 1: The classic begins

    blow-up-doll

    Tim:

    Booker T and Jarrett are in the ring as four cheaply made wooden boxes hang in every corner. The lady who received Booker T’s shirt makes an early argument for who the MVP of this match is by acting like a straight up wild woman towards Jeff Jarrett.

    The bell rings and this historic match is underway. To prove how unscripted and real this and every match in WCW is, one of the wooden boxes falls to the ground before the two-minute mark. What does this box contain? Is it the one with the World Heavyweight Championship? Is there a python in there? Maybe it’s the book “Lying, Congressional Style” so the recipient can add one point (two points if they already have the Comprehension Perk) to their Speech Skill? No one knows right now as both men continue to battle it out.

    Jarrett goes to the box finally and smashes it open. It’s a blow-up doll and its legs are goofy as hell.

    The fans hoot and holler at this.  This match is wild and shows no signs of slowing down.

    typicalROHfan:

    The elderly Booker T t-shirt recipient getting in Jeff Jarrett’s grill is among the history of great fans hating Jeff Jarrett. It culminated in fans slapping him with straps at TNA vs. Samoa Joe; a classic you surely remember.

    This was a vintage Vince Russo brainchild. It’s kind of like the past generation’s Feast Or Fired. I love that the first box is a blow-up doll. Because nothing sums up poor 2000 comedy as well as blow-up dolls. The doll took more bumps than most of the WCW main event roster.

    Tom:

    “How do you prepare for something like this?” asks the commentary team, and man, that’s a good question. The appearance by a stunt granny to get in Jarrett’s face justifies my purchase of the ‘Wrestling Secrets Revealed’ VHS. Is it me or is Double J looking a little huskier than usual? Not in a bad way, mind. Maybe he knew he had to beef up for a main event run in the Dubya-Cee-Dubya. It’s an upper body business, brother.

    Every single time the boxes shake, I freak out with excitement, and it isn’t long until my dreams come true and a box falls down by itself. What’s inside? It’s a blow-up sex doll, of course! The match has to take a break as the entire crowd passes out from laughter. Continue reading

    Match of the Week: Sid vs. Disco Inferno and Erik Watts (WCW Nitro)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen a few matches that can technically be considered one match of Sid vs. Disco Inferno and Erik Watts from the September 13, 1999 edition of WCW Nitro. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Disco Inferno vs. Erik Watts

    sid1

    Tim:

    We know what era of WCW we are watching because Tony Schiavone clearly has given up. He simply says “good move” when Watts hits that very weak kick at the beginning. This is the least and most basic thing a commentator could say while on the job.

    The crowd wants one person and one person only. Sid. On a side note, “Sid” is one of the strangest names to give someone. Sid. It’s funny as hell.

    We get a close up of a sign that, had the crowd not been going wild chanting for Sid to show, I would have put a large sum of money down on it being planted there. Sid shows up watching the match backstage and we get a hard-to-hear mumbling promo by The Psycho One.

    typicalROHfan:

    I’m the biggest Sid mark on the planet so this warms my heart. For about a month or two, Sid would squash cruiserweights and jobbers every week. Like, literally three or four times per show Sid would come in mid-match and powerbomb the “geeks” as Da Meltz would say. If only he would do this today. Imagine 3 Man Band vs. Los Matadores ending every week with Sid powerbombing them all. Little person included.

    Disco Inferno is one of my favorite jobbers in wrestling history and Erik Watts was the past generation’s version of Garrett Bischoff. He sucked, no one cared about him, he dressed like a creep and was only on the roster due to nepotism. The match ends perfectly with a glorious sign and Sid promo as Disco hits the Disco Stunner for the lesser of pin falls we’d see.

    Tom:

    STRAIGHT INTO THE ACTION, BROTHER. Wow, Erik Watts is not very good! At all! Thankfully, it isn’t long before we see the ‘Boring… WHERE’S SID?’ sign, which made me have to pause the video and laugh out loud for a full thirty seconds. The in-ring action continues (Disco’s finisher was a stunner?!?) but the real fun to be had is with Sid’s scintillating backstage promo

    I feel sorry…
    For the participants…
    For they know…
    The name Sid will scream…
    From the gallery.

    I’m no poetry expert, but I know what I like, and that speaks to my soul. Continue reading

    Match of the Week: Scott Steiner vs. 4 Cruiserweights (02/05/2001 WCW Nitro)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Scott Steiner vs. The WCW Cruiserweight division from the WCW Nitro episode that aired on February 5th, 2001. Members of the sites @TimWelcomed and @TomBlackett are here with @AnimeKing420 AKA Nightlife Plus (filling in for @typicalROHfan who is on a LEGO Marvel Super Hero sabbatical) to give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Meet the competition.

    motw1

    Tim:

    Yung Dragons are out first. Schiavone and Madden are too busy talking about other things going on to really bother with this until Evan Karagias and Jamie Knoble come out to what sounds like someone ripped off the synthesizer part of Van Halen’s Jump, cut it up, and threw bits and pieces of it between generic rock music. Scott Steiner is already in the ring. True warriors need not fancy entrances.

    Nightlife:

    All right, here we go! I fondly remember this classic 2001 WCW moment, and it still ranks among my best-remembered wrestling matches of all time. Big Poppa Pump is already in the ring as we kick off this match, clearly too important for a proper entrance. First out are the Yung Dragons, getting a full entrance like the jabronis they are. Man, I miss the era where every cruiserweight wore baggy shiny pants. Jimmy Yang‘s sideburns are pretty good.

    Did Chris Benoit lose a couple inches and 50 pounds?  No, wait, that’s Jamie Knoble. “Like four buzz bombs and super destroyer in the middle of the ocean, the war is on” is definitely the best Mark Madden quote of all time. Evan Karagias appears to be wearing ugly grey jeans. Given the year, there is a very strong possibility they are JNCO. Screaming, Jimmy Yang leads the charge and the match is underway!

    Tom:

    First off, as a professional merchologist, that Scott Steiner shirt advertised on screen looks pretty great.

    awesome-shirt

    $20? Total steal. Sadly, wcwgear.com is no longer operational, so I’ll just have to scour eBay for it. The commentary team lets us know that Ric Flair’s job as CEO is on the line in the main event, which is ALSO a handicap match. 2001-era WCW loves handicap matches.

    WCW’s theme music for their Asian tag team manages to be slightly less racist than WWF’s, so that’s something. Continue reading

    Match of the Week: Chamber of Horrors Match (WCW Halloween Havoc 1991)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, in the spirit of Halloween, we’ve chosen the Chamber of Horrors match from WCW Halloween Havoc ’91, which is spectacular in that it has just about every single bad idea you could think of thrown into one match. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Eric Bischoff is not a good interviewer.

    abby-cactus-eric

    Tim:

    Eric Bischoff is in a suit standing… outside of the arena, I guess? Cars are pulling up but there’s also a lot of grass behind him. Something feels out of place. Bischoff tries getting interviews but these guys are just too busy for him. Especially Barry Windham who is getting his hand slammed in the door like a chump.

    typicalROHfan:

    Eric Bischoff just seems like a douchebag. It’s amazing how one person can maintain the high level of douche chills over a span of 22 years but EB does it.

    Highlight of this for me is Larry Zbyszko and Arn Anderson smashing Barry Windham‘s hand with the car door. Zbyszko telling Bischoff to “get out the way, you jerk” was a glorious moment that made me just feel in my bones that we would see these two co-main event Starrcade 7 years later.

    Tom:

    First of all, WWE not adopting Halloween Havoc as one of their annual PPVs is CRAZY. It’s a really fun name, the theme is ridiculously easy to do cool sets and posters and stuff with and, really, wrestling and Halloween are just made for each other. Both celebrate people dressing up like idiots and running around doing dumb stuff, so why keep them apart? It’s a natural fit!

    Having said that though, the Chamber of Horrors might not be the best example of ‘doing it right’. In the opening interviews, Eric Bischoff is DREADFUL. He looks good in a tux, but beyond that, he delivers everything in the same hokey tone and doesn’t seem to be able to react to anything naturally. DDP is in full Andrew Dice-Clay mode, asking Bisch “What are you, parking cars now? SEEYA!” We love Andrew Diamond-Dallas-Clay.

    Onto the entrances, and there are two teams (catchily named ‘team number one’ and ‘team number two’), who all come out to the same generic theme. Cactus Jack has a chainsaw. Abdullah the Butcher is carrying… something else, I’m not sure what. Finally, Sting gets to come out to his own theme, and everyone goes NUTS. Without any explanation of how it works, the match begins! Continue reading

    Beer Money vs. LAX vs. Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan: Bound for Glory 2008

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, we’ve chosen Beer Money vs. LAX vs. Team 3D vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan in a Monster’s Ball Tag Team match from Bound for Glory 2008, with Steve ‘Mongo’ McMichael as the special guest referee. Basically, it’s 28 minutes of madness. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Bound for Mongo

    bound-for-mongo

    Tim:

    This is only the FIFTH time a Monster’s Ball had happened, guys. First out is the man, the legend, Steve “Mongo” McM…LOOK AT HIS HAIR. LOOK AT IT. The half jersey/ref shirt looks hideous. But also, look at Mongo’s hair. We get the contestants’ entrances. Just look at Mongo’s hair though.

    typicalROHfan:

    LAX and Beer Money are the two of the best tag teams in TNA history. Team 3D/The Dudleyz are arguably the most successful tag team in wrestling history. Matt Morgan…………… has had the most failed tag teams in wrestling history. Abyss is wearing white one month after Labor Day. Mongo McMichael has a grandma haircut and a creepy looking half football jersey/half referee shirt. Plus there’s weapons. You just KNOW this is gonna be something special.

    Tom:

    As Mongo makes his way down to the ring, Don West asks ‘could this be any more perfect?’ and you know what? I’m not sure it could be. Mongo looks like a middle-aged mother of three, and not the sexy Adam Cole kind. His haircut is amazing. The way he coyly strips out of his top is even better. The glasses come off too, and brother, he’s READY.

    Also, with Monster’s Ball, isn’t the deal meant to be that they were kept deprived of sleep and food in a dungeon for a few days before the match? I remember in the early ones, everyone would come down to the ring looking all disorientated and unhappy and that was kinda fun/stupid, but they all look normal(ish) here. Continue reading